after one couple breakup, it is time to make decisions. One of the most important is to distance yourself from that story to turn the page. However, many people prolong the attachment through the message “we can be friends”. What are the reasons for not believing in the false illusions of friendship when they are preceded by the sentimental disappointment of the breakup?
Index
- A bad start for friendship
- False expectations
- You do not advance in your life
- Avoid excuses
- Fear to loneliness
A bad start for friendship.
A positive friendship is one that is born from a pleasant experience. Two people know each other and have the desire to spend time together. However, when a friendship is born after a break up, this fact does not mark a pleasant beginning for a free and hopeful feeling like friendship.
At this point, one or both of you often have mixed feelings, disappointment, and resentment. An unpromising starting point for a bond of friendship.
False expectations.
Being friends with your ex after the breakup can lead to keep alive the hope of returning to the previous point at some point. You can also give him wrong expectations. The distance is very positive to turn the page. Because this is what happens after the break: turn the page of that fact.
You do not advance in your life.
When you remain friends with your ex after the breakup, this attitude may lead to live in the past like a sure scene that you know well. Grieving the breakup is one way to move in the desired direction: the present. It is very possible that by being friends after the breakup you are prolonging a situation of dissatisfaction and unhappiness over time for fear of knowing the news of destiny.
A breakup of a couple positions you before the opportunity to make new decisions. Face the situation in the present.
Avoid excuses.
This is the main reason not to be friends with your ex. Break with those excuses that lead you to be at that point. That is, it breaks with ideas that they lead you to keep the illusion alive: "Maybe he will realize how he feels about me", "I can't live without him", "We have many friends in common"... These excuses do not let you grow and lead you to live a limited situation of disenchantment.
That doesn't mean that friendship with an ex is impossible. Rather, it is recommended that in the first stage of the breakup, each one has their own space and lives out of it.
Fear to loneliness.
After a breakup, some people feel the abyss of fear of loneliness. For this reason, at this vital point, it is advisable not to make the decision to be friends with the ex because of a loneliness experienced in a negative way.
If you experience a breakup, you have the opportunity to improve the bond with yourself. Also, when you remain friends with your ex because of this fear, you are delaying the start of the grief that is so necessary to heal the wound of recent disappointment.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to 5 reasons not to be friends with your ex, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
