Some people say that they are very enamored since they deposit high expectations of love when meeting someone who arouses their romantic interest. From this perspective, sometimes, after the idealization comes the disappointment of someone who, after having been emotionally involved in a story, does not feel valued by the other person. There is no effective way to avoid any kind of sentimental pain since wearing a breastplate against any kind of illusion is also a form of suffering.
However, a form of emotional protection is one that arises from the prudence of allowing time to observe the evolution of a story trying to maintain the balance between the illusion of that love that can become and the patience to attend to reality itself herself. How not to fall in love with someone so fast? If this is your purpose, in Psychology-Online we help you find the answer.
Each story is different, in fact, we encourage you to do an introspection exercise to delve into what you think are the reasons why this happens to you. Here are five possible scenarios:
1. People in love with love
There is the risk of turning falling in love into a philosophy of life thanks to the incentive of the illusion that it brings, the butterflies in the stomach and that intensity with which the present is lived. Some people live forever craving these kinds of sensations.
2. Not learning from experience
Some people observe how they live a story that has a similar scheme at different times with different protagonists. Love is not only feeling, it is also reflection. And after a love disappointment, it is convenient to meditate on what happened to be able to draw some conclusions about vital lessons that can be put into practice from then on. However, when a person avoids this phase of reflection, he prolongs previous mistakes in the present.
3. Fear to loneliness
When a person fears present or future loneliness, he lowers his own sentimental expectations. Magnify the details of interest that you observe in the other person and express promises of love in advance. Those people who combine the concept of happiness with life as a couple may be more vulnerable to the risk of falling in love quickly.
4. Low self-esteem
When a person loves himself little, he looks for happiness in someone outside. You want to assert your own worth by feeling attractive to someone. And he mistakes attraction and liking for love itself. This low self-esteem favors the bonds of emotional dependence.
5. Lack of true friends
The human being is social by nature, he needs this environment of belonging to fully develop emotionally. Friendship ties bring emotions and happiness. However, there is a type of loneliness that is one that is conditioned by the absence of referral links. When a person feels lonely, they are more vulnerable to the risk of falling in love quickly by confusing affection with falling in love.
The risk of falling in love very soon with another person is that, when you act in this way, you may be looking for that someone to fill your internal voids. Nobody decides 100% when or with whom they fall in love, however, falling in love too quickly on more than one occasion can be a sign of insecurity and attachment problems.
Invest in self-love to improve your life
The best way to fall in love with another person is by being aware, beforehand, of what is your worth. To do this, make decisions that help you improve your own life: study, learn languages, fight to improve yourself, enjoy the present, spend time with your family, encourage contact with nature, do things that you like and appreciate the value of simplicity in day to day. Happiness can not only be in the illusion of infatuation status, but also in the serenity of observing a beautiful landscape.
If after having met someone you feel that they are the love of your life and this is something that happens to you in a frequent, psychological therapy can help you identify the reason why you live each story from the beginning idealization.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
