REBOUND RATIO: characteristics and duration

We've all heard that one nail pulls out another nail, but is that true? Does another person really heal the pain that the ex-partner has left us? The following Psychology-Online article tries to talk about the myth that in a very short time another person can take away the emptiness that that former partner has been able to leave us. We will talk the characteristics and duration of rebound relationships and we will discuss your chances of success. Do you want to know if rebo relationships work? Keep reading.

Index

1. What is a rebound relationship?
2. Characteristics of rebound relationships
3. How long does a relationship rebound?
4. Why aren't bouncing relationships working?

For most people breaking up with someone is a painful process. Being through with your partner can leave us feeling intense emptiness and, therefore, some people quickly seek replace that person's love with another relationship sentimental. It is then when we find ourselves before the so-called rebound relationship or liana relationship.

How do I know if I am in a rebound relationship? The main characteristic of the rebound relationship is the short period of time between breakout and onset of the new relationship. On the other hand, we can also find other characteristics that can indicate that we are in a rebound relationship such as:

Pain

When you are with your new partner, your mind wanders from the pain you felt from the breakup. But when it disappears, the pain and the feeling of emptiness reappear. This may indicate that we are not really in love with the other person but rather we still have open wounds from the previous relationship.

Need

The need for this new person to feel good. What the other person brings us comfortSince when we are with him or her the pain is less, relationships can develop with a very superficial intensity: the sex is intense, the words are very affectionate, but you really don't seem ready to talk about feelings deep.

Speed

In turn, that intensity can lead to precipitate acts like: meeting family and friends in a very short time and even going to live together.

Comparison

Another characteristic that we can also see in rebound relationships is: the constant comparison of "new love" with your ex partner. This fact may mean that you are trying to find your previous partner in another person. The new person is not valued for who they really are, such as their characteristics and attributes, but rather an attempt is made to look for the qualities of the former partner and for the person to act as a replacement.

Sexual attraction

In addition, in rebound relationships, sexual attraction is usually the main engine of the relationship. Although enjoying sexuality is natural and healthy in a relationship, a possible sign of a rebound relationship is using sex to avoid feelings and emotions That can arise due to discomfort from the previous breakup and emotional dissatisfaction with the new partner.

Instability

Finally, due to the emotional instability that a couple breakdown entails, the new relationship is also will be affected by these mood swings, with what can be an unstable relationship and with mood swings frequent.

Due to the lack of stable affective bonds and the difficulty of forming them due to the characteristics that sustain rebound relationships, these do not usually last very long. Despite the short duration, many do not make it a year. They are usually intense and hasty and decisions are made like starting a life together very quickly, buying a pet together, going to a foreign country for a season, etc.

A romantic breakup is a loss, so it inevitably requires a period of mourning. The person will need time to assume that you have broken up with your ex-partner, rearrange your life and your thoughts, clarify the emotions you feel and allow yourself to feel the pain of the loss in order to overcome it. Sometimes people are afraid of having to face all that loss entails, and they can skip the grief by quickly getting involved in a new relationship. In this way, the pain is masked by the new love. However, even if we want to deceive ourselves, the pain is still there and that will harm us when it comes to establishing new ties with another person. That is why many of the rebound relationships do not work because, despite wanting to get excited about another person and turn the page, the pain is still very present and does not allow progress.

For this, it is important to bear in mind the phases of mourning and what each of them entails:

• Normally, when a person suffers a romantic breakup, a feeling of denial and incredulity appears: “it cannot be that it has finished, if we were well… it is true that in Sometimes we did not agree on things, but it was not so relevant as to end the relationship".
• This disbelief often gives way to anger, rage and anger; It is not understood why the relationship has ended and the person ends up getting angry with the partner first (it is not necessary to communicate to this but it can be a thought) and later also with herself for not having been able to do something to save the relationship.
• After the anger usually comes the sadness. The realization that this person is no longer by your side. It is important that when we feel sadness, we let it come out: cry, express it to your friends, make a ritual that allows you to remove this sadness (there are those who do well to watch a movie with which they know they cry forever). On many occasions, at this point people find it difficult to express that they are sad and try to pretend that nothing is wrong. To overcome a grief it is important to allow yourself to feel the sadness that the loss has brought us with it.
• Taking out the penalties can help us move towards the next step: acceptance of loss. Understand that your ex partner is no longer part of your life, but that your life continues and you can be happy without that person, allows us to establish new objectives and goals in our life, assuming that we have suffered a lost.

In rebound relationships, on many occasions, this process has not been fully carried out. We may have been left in denial, rage and anger or sadness, since they are processes that can sometimes be unpleasant, and we decide not face them and replace the former partner with a new love.

Here you will find 10 tips to deal with a breakup and have a good grief.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Rebound ratio: characteristics and duration, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.

• Boss, P. (2001). Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live With Unfinished Grief. Barcelona: gedisa.
• Poch Avellan, C. (2013). Pèrdues i dols. Barcelona: Octadero.