The experience of an infidelity can have an effect on the mood of that person who has been disappointed by this behavior of her partner. Infidelity can produce jealousy and distrust that make those who experience this state of mind suffer, mainly, in the first person. In this case, jealousy is also born as a form of anticipation of what may happen again (or maybe never happen again).
However, the fear of suffering again from a similar situation that has even affected one's own perception that the person has of himself, makes the vulnerability of jealousy can manifest itself in greater or lesser measure. In Psychology-Online, we reflect on how to control jealousy after an infidelity.
If you are living in a situation of this type, these tips to know how to control jealousy after an infidelity can help you.
1. Personal care
Your sense of fragility increases when you focus on issues that are beyond your field of control. Therefore, it is very important that you carry out specific actions that depend only on you. Actions with which to take more care of yourself at this time in your life.
2. Don't hold back your jealousy
Your own self-awareness can help you gain emotional freedom on this matter. Try to delve into how this situation has affected you and what you can do from now on to transform the lessons obtained from this experience into a value for your present. Many times we focus on approaching the doubt from this question: "What can I do not to be jealous?"
However, he tries to go beyond the impulse of jealousy through reason so as not to turn this state of mind into a justification for acting in a way that might hurt the other person. In a situation of jealousy, it is very possible that the protagonist regrets having acted in a certain way under the impact of this emotion.
3. Couple communication
If the infidelity has not meant the end of the relationship, it is very important to reinforce the communication of the couple to work together for the common goal of laying the foundations of the trust. The support of a couples therapy can be of vital help for those who assume this commitment by mutual agreement. In that case, it is important to find a professional who inspires confidence in both of you.
4. Couple goals
So that the past is not a constant horizon in the relationship, it is recommended that you adopt a collaborative and cooperative attitude to achieve the common goal of laying the foundations of confidence. What is each one going to do to nurture the common good of this love? You can reflect on this and reach agreements on the present. If you want to discover how to control jealousy after an infidelity, it is important that you learn to Forget the past and live the present.
5. Talk to someone outside the situation
Although the couple's dialogue is very important, it is also advisable to have external support for the relationship. A good friend who listens to you with respect and understands you. When you are going through difficult episodes, you can talk to that person.
The trace of an infidelity can condition the person beyond the relationship of the couple in which that particular situation occurred. The fear of living a similar situation again can be born in the illusion of a new crush. How to control jealousy in a new relationship?
- It really starts from scratch. That is, do not contaminate the potential of this love story with emotional ghosts that have nothing to do with this bond itself. This is a good time to leave behind the reproaches, disappointment and suffering of what happened then. Because that, right now, only exists in memory. True love is created every day. Therefore, live this love story from the truth of each day and discover the power of starting over.
- Do not pity or victimize yourself. It is not pleasant to go through a situation of infidelity, however, one of the lessons that you have been able to extract from From your experience it is to verify that you have emotional resources to respond to this situation with self esteem and emotional intelligence. In some cases, the help of a professional psychologist may be required. However, he tries to understand that an event of this type does not determine you in a universal way since the human being is resilient. That is, you have the ability to be happier even after having lived through difficult circumstances.
- Take care of your self-esteem. This may be a good time to do an inner growth workshop to deepen your happiness in a comprehensive way in a creative context for reflection and dialogue around the truth of being. You can also read books on this topic. In that case, select quality authors. Why is it so important strengthen self-esteem? Because a person feels better as a couple when she is good with herself.
- Beware of repeating patterns. If you feel that you are living the same relationship scheme, despite being with a different partner, try reflect on the matter around what may be causing this scheme to be materializing in the weather. A therapy can be valuable to deepen this question.
- Learning. Adopt this attitude towards life to deal with this particular episode. What thoughts come to your mind in a situation of jealousy? What has happened and what interpretation have you made of that event? How can you react in a more constructive way from now on in those situations where there are no objective reasons to distrust. You may write an emotional journal focused on this question.
Jealousy is also closely linked to personal beliefs, if you have decided to give a second opportunity to your partner it is essential that you know how to control jealousy after a infidelity. Here is a list of five reasons that can inspire you:
- Each person is unique and unrepeatable. For this reason, your value as a person remains exactly the same.
- There is a difference between pain and suffering. The pain of a specific event turns into suffering when you recall it in your mind over and over again.
- Self love It is the true engine of happiness in any circumstance.
- Many couples outgrow such a situation and they have sincere trust again.
- You deserve to be happy for real, discover how to be happy with yourself.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
