A relationship is something much more complex than sharing a flat with someone. Sharing life in common means that each one is part of the other's life. To do this, he has to give her the place of her (and vice versa) of her. A very human feeling is not feeling recognized by your partner at some point. When the situation lasts, that's when the problem arises. What to do when you don't feel valued by your partner?
Lately you don't feel valued by your partner? This is a somewhat complicated situation to manage because it is not always so obvious to realize that someone does not value you. However, if you feel "abandoned" by your partner, if you think you are in the background in his life, then it is likely that he is not valuing you as you deserve.
In these cases, it is important that you take action on the matter and act to try to change this situation. Not feeling valued enough can mean that, in the long run, your self-esteem, your security and your self-esteem are affected. Therefore, do not wait any longer!
Start to value yourself
If you do not feel valued by your partner, it may be that you are focusing too much attention on him. It is clear that, in a relationship, your partner will support you, advise you and be by your side when you need it. But you will not be his center of attention, you cannot expect him to satisfy all your shortcomings. You take care of your life And, therefore, you have to value yourself so as not to demand so much from the other. This is the first step to having a more satisfactory relationship for both of you so... Love yourself!
Talk to your partner
Talk about how you feel without questioning whether or not you really have a reason to feel that way. If those ghosts are in your mind they prevent you from enjoying the relationship. And the only way to end all those doubts is talk about your anguish with the only person who can give you all the answers you need.
Learn to ask for what you need
If you do not feel valued by your partner, it may be that you miss something that you need. In that case, with total freedom, ask for it. Make your requests not in the form of an imperative but in a assertive tone Because the way you ask can help you improve your relationship.
Analyze the causes of your feelings
To know the reasons for Why do you feel that way It is convenient that you analyze the causes to assess the reasons why you do not feel valued. For example, your partner may have focused one hundred percent on their work and left you on the back burner. Or maybe something has changed between you and that turning point haunts you. The last thing you have to do in a situation like this is shut up and keep everything you feel inside of yourself. Indifference does not help solve relationship problems.
In this other Psychology-Online article we will discover how heal a toxic relationship as a couple so that you know some tips to give it a spin and enjoy a healthier life.
You may not feel valued by your partner but Have you analyzed where that need comes from? A couple has to value you, of course, but many times we ask that you be the one to refer me and the one to give us the security to act as we act. And this is a serious mistake. We need to keep in mind that we are the first to value ourselves, respect each other and never fail us. Our partner is a plus, someone who will add and who will make us feel better. But we should never expect our self-esteem and confidence to come from it.
Therefore, it is important that you start loving yourself, trusting yourself and don't need the approval of others. You have to be content only to yourself, be comfortable with the life you lead and not expect others to applaud you. If that comes, great, but the goal you should be pursuing is your own satisfaction.
Therefore, we recommend that you start making these changes:
- Avoid emotional attachment: Many times, the reason why your partner's need for appreciation appears is because you feel emotional attachment, that is, dependence. You depend on your partner, their opinions and their conception of life to be able to feel comfortable and happy. Serious mistake. In your life, you must be the one to guide the way, you can help yourself with others but you must always be faithful to your thoughts and ideology.
- Be independent in the couple: In order to value yourself more and not depend so much on your partner, it is important that you be independent, that you have your own space, your dreams and individual projects. The healthiest thing for a couple is to have a common life but, also, to have independent lives in which each one can continue taking care of their friends, continue with their hobbies and their own interests.
- Recognize your achievements: many times we are too demanding with ourselves. This means that we constantly set goals and objectives to meet but that, later, when we achieve them, we hardly celebrate them. It is important that, in your life, you reserve a space to reward yourself, to relax and enjoy having achieved that goal that you were pursuing so much. If you are aware of your victories, you will be able to value yourself better and you will not need the recognition of someone outside so much.
But it may be the case that your partner does not really know how to value who he has by his side. It may be because he has fallen out of love or because he is simply having a bad time individually or in life as a couple. Either way, there are some signs that can help you detect if, indeed, your partner does not value you. These are some of the most common situations:
- You don't feel like I'm by your side: it may be that you need to talk, that you have a bad time, that something worries you, etc., and that you feel that your partner is not by your side. That is, do not ask how you are, do not pay attention to that complication, and so on. We have to be very aware that we cannot expect our partner to solve our problems for us, but it is normal for them to support and advise you.
- Has no time for you: It is also very common that a partner who does not value you does not pay attention to you. If any plan is more interesting than being with you, if you feel that it is never available or any plan rejects it, then it does not value your company. Talk to him or her to find out what may be happening since, most of the time, a good conversation can make big changes.
- Doesn't recognize your achievements: And finally, a person does not value you if he does not pay attention to your achievements or recognize your effort. He does not have to organize a party but he does have to be happy for you and, deep down, feel happy for you too. In a couple (as well as in a relationship either friendship or family) a very intimate and strong bond is created that makes their achievements be celebrated as their own.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
