How to forget my partner's past

The past is important in people's lives because that path traveled up to now is the one that gives meaning to the present. When you fall in love with a person, you really love him, if you accept his present just as you aspire to receive this same level of understanding. It can happen that you have illusions with a person and some aspect of their past distances you from the idea of ​​loving them unconditionally. For example, attitudes that break with the fundamental values ​​that you want in a partner.

However, the past interferes with the present, sometimes for minor reasons. For example, some people are jealous of their partner's past, mentally rival the figure of an ex who held a special place in yesterday. How can you forget your partner's past? In Psychology-Online we tell you.

Index

1. Live the reality of love, not the theory
2. Tips for Overcoming Hindsight Jealousy
3. Psychological help to overcome retrospective jealousy

When you immerse yourself in this mental dynamic of ideas and thoughts that lead you to live at enmity with your partner for some fact of the past, you are letting those gray thoughts and subjective ideas take you away from the chapter of this love story: the Present. Therefore, make decisions in the form of now.

When you suffer from your partner's past, you let what you imagine about that moment affect you. If you were not in your partner's life at that time, then you do not have the ability to comment on it with the same criteria with which you analyze your own biography.

If you are so conditioned by that past, you move away from the possibility of remembering your own memories as a couple. So be creative and constructive to come up with plans, organize details, have interesting conversations, set new goals, and live from day to day.

Your partner has a past and deserves to be approached with respect. Because you also have a previous history. And, in a way, thanks to the fact that your paths have crossed at some point yesterday, today you are together. Therefore, instead of interpreting the past in a destructive way, find a valuable meaning to that period.

In this other article we tell you why are you jealous of your partner's ex.

In order to overcome your partner's past, it is essential that you begin to control the retrospective jealousy, that is, jealousy for his past life. Here are some tips to help you:

• Talk to your partner regarding what makes you insecure. Try to externalize it sincerely because by verbalizing your inner fears and ghosts you acquire greater mental strength to be able to overcome them. Why do you think this affects you? Maybe you feel that your partner was happier then than now that he is with you? What reason do you have to believe that? What are you jealous of?
• If there is any aspect of your partner's past that affects you negatively, try not to focus your conversations around that question because knowing more information about it will only make it hurt even more. Try to identify what are the internal messages that these painful emotions bring you and assume your own responsibility to work this point since your partner is not responsible for your jealousy.
• If you are at this point, it is very possible that your life script is conditioned by a feeling of nostalgia and longing that leads you to live from belief that any past time was better. For this reason, the advice to live in the present, not only in your personal sphere, but also, in the other areas of your life, is educational because the melancholy of yesterday is in the background when you invest your attention, your time and your affection in actions current.

It may happen that you feel unable to overcome this discomfort definitively. You may feel that no matter how hard you try, frustration and inner anger take over your mood at times because you can't handle this situation. In that case, and for your own well-being, it is important that you request psychological support to feed your level of self-esteem and, in this way, prepare yourself to adopt a different attitude.

Its convenient that ask for psychological help If at a theoretical level you are aware that the past no longer exists, however, in practice, you suffer as if everything that you interpret were happening right now. Although you want all of this to stop hurting you, there is something blocking you.

In that case, you are faced with the challenge of overcome this insecurity, but also, before the opportunity to find answers. And this is important for yourself because even if you end this relationship, if in the future you fall in love again, it is very You may experience this jealousy about that person's past by not having developed new skills in coping.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to forget my partner's past, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.