There is a situation that produces a lot of suffering in relationships. Live love from distrust that leads you to position yourself in a defense role, observing possible dangers where there are no reasons for doubt. Distrust, when it is subjective and born from an internal fear, is not supported by a real sequence of data inherent in that love story.
In this Psychology-Online article, we tell you how to overcome mistrust in your partner valuing communication as a means of understanding to achieve this goal of love.
Why am I distrustful of my partner? Before knowing how to overcome mistrust in your partner, it is important that analyze the origin of this situation. Distrust in itself is very general if you do not limit it in the framework of reality. Why do you feel this way? What specifically concerns you? What thoughts do you experience in those episodes of intense mistrust? Is there any observable behavior from your partner that makes you worry in this way?
In short, try to specify the causes of mistrust in the couple and if, really, this discomfort is due to recent experiences that have negatively conditioned you with this person or, on the contrary, these doubts are
You feel that past experiences and disappointments Are they altering your current happiness? In that case, your suspicions are not rooted in the present, but in the fear of being disappointed again. These questions can serve as inspiration to begin a dialogue with your own fear, that is, to limit it, reason it and put words to it.
Otherwise, when you feel overwhelmed by the insecurity of mistrust, that discomfort makes you feel helpless. Through self-talk, you can do something to move beyond that fear.
If you not only distrust your partner but you do it around the world, we invite you to read this other article in which we discover you why don't you trust anyone.
How can I stop mistrusting my partner? In order to overcome mistrust in the relationship, you have to know that it is not something that you can achieve immediately. A process is needed to accomplish this purpose. If you're wondering what to do when you distrust your partner, here are some good tips to help you get back on track. restore confidence and that, thus, you can enjoy a fuller and more satisfying relationship.
1. Teamwork
A couple relationship repeats the essence of a team that collaborates in achieving the same goal. In this case, regain confidence. That is, the fight for this goal must be reciprocal, each one can contribute their virtues, their skills of communication, their positive disposition and their active listening to reach this point of emotional intelligence.
To work as a team, it is very important that you express assertive requests to your partner for gestures that you would like to receive from their part, and in turn, it is also very important that you listen to their point of sight. That is, instead of taking for granted what the other thinks or feels, it is essential to have an open mind to promote understanding.
2. Short-term goals
The general objective of regaining trust in the couple can be limited in time through closer temporary goals on the calendar. For example, you can take the initiative to schedule more conversation plans. Quotes that put the value of the word at the center since the main tool to regain confidence is the sincerity expressed through language. Therefore, in order to talk openly with your partner, you must create favorable opportunities for it. And what better way than planning fun plans that create a positive mood to enjoy the conversation?
3. Action plan
To regain trust in your partner, you have to find the balance of rescuing the strengths and virtues of this love story with him. In order to find resilience support in those factors that should be maintained, it is also essential to identify possible points of gets better. That is, to regain trust in the partner is of vital importance correct those vulnerable points that are producing a distancing to generate new habits of emotional intelligence.
You can write down in a notebook the principles that you want to apply at this stage of your love story to that whenever a moment of doubt arises, you can reread that information that you have agreed on by both parts.
4. Forgiveness
Forgiveness is an act of freedom. However, it is impossible to regain trust in the relationship without having the ability to forgive the other or yourself. Obviously, the ability to forgive is also related to the nature of the events that caused the damage. Try to reflect on this question by relating the global balance of this story and your own future: How do you see your life in five years? Would you like your partner to continue being part of your story?
In that case, listen especially to your emotions. Since they offer you very important information about your true inner desires. If this relationship does not make you happy, the idea of continuing to share the future with your partner will have a certain tinge of sadness. In this article, we tell you how to learn to forgive.
5. Patience
However, keep in mind that before you have reached the ultimate goal of honing confidence, you have already had the opportunity to observe the evolution of history. That is, you can check if your actions are helping you to improve the quality of love or everything is the same as before.
In this other article we help you to be able to return to regain your partner's trust when they have lied to you. Finally, below, you will find a video with tips on how to have a healthy and lasting relationship.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
