All relationships have ups and downs. Some of a higher level and others of such little importance that they can go unnoticed. But in general, in a long-term relationship, difficulties arise or changes appear. Sometimes we find that we can't stand our partner and we don't know what to do.
In Psychology-Online we give you some guidelines to understand this situation and act accordingly.
Index
- Why can't I stand my partner
- I am pregnant and I cannot stand my partner
- What to do if I can't stand my partner
Why can't I stand my partner.
One good day, talking to someone we trust, we feel irritated talking about our partner. This morning he did not make the bed and that bothers us enormously. Also the other day we were telling him what happened to us at work and he wouldn't look up from his cell phone, what disrespect! We are outraged by their behavior.
Little by little we go from being bothered by a few things to we are bothered by everything that he does or does not do
We do not understand if what irritates us before was not there or if it did not bother us before. And that stuns us. Has changed? Have I changed? Has the situation changed? All three may be true. If you can't stand your husband, your wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, it may be for these reasons:
- My partner has changed. This may be due to a period of stress, substance use, substance withdrawal, a change in your feelings towards us, to the appearance of a third person, to unsolved problems or even a history of fights and disrespect in the partner. In the following article we talk in depth about Why do people change.
- I've changed. Likewise, all these reasons can be in us.
- The situation has changed. Perhaps there has been a job change, a move, a new environment or a change in the family economy. And it is also possible that you have passed the initial phase of the relationship, the infatuation.
Some have an easy solution. When it is a temporary change, it can be borne until it passes. When the change is final, it can also be assimilated. Adapting to new circumstances is possible if we want to and have the necessary resources. It is up to us to work on the relationship or propose a breakup.
I am pregnant and I cannot stand my partner.
Pregnant? Welcome to the hormonal revolution. Although pregnancy has wonderful things like noticing how life grows inside you and being excited about the arrival of your baby, not everything is ideal.
When the waves of hormones make their appearance, in addition to physical changes, you will notice psychological changes. You mood may be altered, your humor and your patience. Things that you did not give importance to before, now affect you a lot. They can be smells or attitudes, but it is often the case that the partner is the cause of our anger. Nothing has changed in him or her, but we are irritated by every thing they do, every comment they say or every opinion they release.
Don't worry because Is a passenger. Of course, it remains for a time after delivery, until the hormones return to normal.
It is convenient let our partner know what is happening so that our irritability does not cause greater evils. Also during this stage you have to work on patience on the part of both, and a lot. Practice assertiveness as far as possible and do not disrespect each other. Little by little, if there are no other problems (distribution of tasks or unequal care of the baby), the waters will return to their course.
Pregnancy and the first months of caring for a baby They are periods of stress, of not getting enough rest, of worries and saturation in many aspects. Be patient and seek help from a professional to carry it in the best possible way.
What to do if I can't stand my partner.
How to act before this feeling of not being able to take more and not bear our partner?
Reflect and detect the causes
The first thing we must do is rule out that there is some cause, some reason that has appeared in the relationship and that he was not before. If so, it would be convenient sit down to talk of the problem with our partner and, between the two or the two, propose solutions.
If apparently nothing has changed but your partner's behavior starts to bother you, it is possible that the infatuation phase is over. This phase occurs at the beginning of the relationship and clouds our vision a bit. From falling in love comes the phrase "love is blind." And when the initial rush wears off, the one that fills us with such intense and pleasant emotions, reality begins to appear. We began to see failures that we did not perceive before, to realize behaviors that we now find it difficult to tolerate.
Do I break away or do I hold on?
If you can't stand your partner and you're wondering whether or not to continue the relationship, it's time to consider couples therapy. Yes the foundations of the relationship are well established and there is love, affection, respect, admiration, values and common goals; this will be just a bump in the relationship.
Otherwise, if you want different things or you have realized that you really you don't feel good with your partner, it will be time to finalize your commitment.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to I can't stand my partner, what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.
Bibliography
- Beck, A. T. (2011). With love is not enough. Madrid: Paidós.
- Mazel, S; Murkoff, H. (2013). What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Barcelona: Planet
