How to tell my parents that I am bisexual

It is difficult to talk openly about our sexuality with figures as important as our parents, but it may be necessary for them to understand the decisions we make in our lifetime.

With the arrival of puberty, sexual attraction also arrives and doubts arise about what we like and what we don't like. Since we were little, through television, family comments or at school, we have been taught that it is normal for us to like people of our opposite gender. However, not everyone is heterosexual, there are other types of orientations and expressions of sexuality, among them is bisexuality.

If you think you can like both men and women and in your head you keep wondering "How do I tell my parents that I am bisexual?", we recommend that you read this Psychology-Online article. In it, you will find tips and tricks to learn, step by step, how to communicate openly about your orientation.

Index

1. How to know if I am bisexual
2. I'm afraid to say that I'm bisexual
3. Steps to tell your parents that you are bisexual

First of all, it is possible that doubts arise and we want to be sure about whether we are bisexual or not. It is a normal feeling of uncertainty, since we have not received information about other sexual orientations and being bisexual is not something that has been normalized (for now). Here are some questions that we can ask ourselves, as a test, to make sure we take the step:

• Would I like to experiment with someone of the same sex but haven't done it yet?
• Have I ever felt that I could be homosexual but I didn't quite feel like one?
• Have I fantasized about having sex with both men and women?
• Have I felt things for a person of a gender contrary to the partner I have or had?
• Is it as much for me to have a stable relationship with a boy than with a girl?
• Have I ever felt like I like people of all genders?

If we have answered yes to more than one question, it is time to consider our preferences and begin to accept ourselves and our feelings.

Once we begin to accept our guidance, we will see that a lot of myths about bisexuality have been generated. We must be clear that it is not a whim, that it is not a phase and we are not confused.

Both doubts and fear are normal feelings during the discovery of our sexual orientation. As we have commented previously, there are many taboos around the sex-affective tastes and preferences of all those of us who are not attracted only to the opposite gender. The lack of information and the strong educational morale instill fears that we must eliminate before communicating to our family that we are bisexual.

We must remember that there is nothing wrong with our feelings and tastes, we are not hurting anyone and our behaviors do not involve anything negative in the environment. The first step after discovering us is to accept us. Sooner or later, to be able act freely, we will have to tell the world who we are and how we feel. Let's say, for example, that our parents have to meet a partner who differs from their expectations, how do we deal with that situation?

Being bisexual is not only not a bad thing but it is normal. In fact, many experts affirm that we are all born bisexual, however, the pressure of the environment or the decisions generated by the different poles of sexual attraction, we should accept and socially normalize this orientation as any other.

Over the years and the experiences we have lived, we will realize that we are not alone, that many people feel in a way similar to ours and that living in fear of expressing this part of our feelings is something unnecessary.

If you still have doubts and in your head the question of "how to tell my parents that I am bisexual", we offer you a short guide with tools and expression tips that will make the moment easier.

1- Find the right moment

Our parents may be busy most of the day, and it may not be wise to start a serious conversation in a rush. For that reason, we must choose a day that we know will have time to listen and speak calmly. Once we think of the best day to talk to them, we must structure our thoughts to know exactly what we want to say to them and how we want to say it to them.

2- Talk about your feelings

In order to communicate empathically something so important, you can speak from the prism of emotions. If our parents understand how we feel and what our sexual orientation is like seen from a more personal perspective, perhaps they will understand us more easily.

3- Keep calm and don't be afraid

Parents are not enemies or people who want to harm us, although it is true that we cannot control their reaction, we can manage our emotions to carry the conversation in the best way possible. Talking about our sexuality is a very important step and improves the bond between parents and children if the situation is handled correctly.

4- Listen and understand their emotions

Our parents are part of a generation that has lived relatively more oppressed than ours, they are likely to be surprised and reactive when receiving the news. However, surely they want the best for us and end up accepting that we are bisexual. It is important to listen and understand your emotions to avoid that the conversation leads to an argument and, in this way, resolve the conflict assertively.

5- Wait a while and talk to them again

After telling them that we are bisexual, they may need some time to adjust to normalize the situation. After a few days have passed, we can bring it up again to make sure they have understood everything we wanted to communicate and support us in it.

We can come to feel that they have not understood us and that they do not want to support us on our way after communicating the news to them. In that case we will have to develop internal tools to maintain our mental stability and avoid generating a low selfsteem.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to tell my parents that I am bisexual, we recommend that you enter our category of Couple therapy.