Emotional wounds can take root deeply in a person's psyche and have negative consequences in the interpersonal relationships of the one who has suffered a rejection. If this rejection occurs in childhood, the wounds will be noticeable in adulthood, even more in relationships.
Next, in Psychology-Online, we will expand we will explain why a person rejects you and then looks for you and what to do when such a situation arises.
The rejection refers to the action that one person performs on another to deliberately excluding you from a social event or act. This rejection is marked by interpersonal rejection that makes mention of peer groups and romantic rejection. The rejection can be passive through the behavior of ignoring another or giving them a silent treatment or the active rejection that is exercised by ridiculing the other person.
Because human beings are social beings, it is normal for them to go through situations of rejection, since it is a situation that is part of the life of any human being. However, the situation becomes complicated when these acts of rejection are prolonged, consistent and repetitive in a person, likewise, when it occurs under an important relationship and when the individual is susceptible and may have consequences for their health mental. The consequences can range from social isolation to depression.
Whoever has gone through a rejection event in his life begins an unconscious process of creating a protective mask or armor to protect feelings and emotions from an event of contempt on the part of another person, generating an anticipatory action of flight.
If the rejection event is generated in childhood, in adulthood perfection will be sought at all costs regarding the behavior of others, which will lead to constant search for recognition that costs a lot to satiate.
Affective relationships are not always lived in a pleasant way, especially when they are not reciprocated. The fact of feeling ignored or rejected in love causes a series of emotional damage in humans that affect their mental and emotional stability in one way or another.
The psychologist Winch, R. (s.f) cited by (Jiménez, M. 2014) has identified consequences that appear after having experienced a type of romantic rejection, among them is the pain experienced in the brain. Rejection, neurologically speaking, is experienced with pain, and the human brain responds identically to contempt and physical pain.
Evolutionary psychologists start from the relationship of rejection and physical pain in the historical past of the human being, when they were hunters and gatherers, were condemned to ostracism (in ancient Greece, exile to which citizens who considered suspicious or dangerous to the city) was equivalent to a death sentence because it was almost impossible to survive Being alone. The human brain is considered to have developed an alert system to warn when it is at risk of ostracism. Those who experienced greater pain at the risk of marginalization showed better evolution and adaptation, since they had the ability to identify their attitude and correct it.
It is totally natural to respond through pain to love rejection and even blaming yourself and feeling emotionally unstable due to this behavior generated by others. The rejection can present for different reasons, each case is unique and individual where the specialists in mental health study, evaluate and assist.
Why does a woman or a man reject you and then look for you? Here are 4 reasons for rejection:
1. Afraid
The fear of being in an affective relationship may be framed by a past made up of romantic or affective rejection, which leads the person to have temporary relationships for avoid the commitment that an emotional relationship implies. This fear can transform into an irrational fear called like this philophobia that makes mention of avoiding all kinds of interpersonal relationships, being affective, with coworkers, friends, family and others. The fact of being in love can be an incredible experience for any human being, except for people with philophobia, since this feeling can cause anxiety, emotional and physical stress.
On the other hand, the fear of some people that implies being in an affective relationship may be characterized by fear of commitment, infatuation or the fact of repeating affective situations from the past, rejection being the most observed in psychological consultations. The afraid It is an alert mechanism that puts the human being in a state of perception of danger, be it present, past or future, causing anxiety and emotional instability.
2. Low self-esteem
The low self-esteem or the lack of esteem make mention of a perception of oneself that lacks value, talent and not having an objective judgment of who one is. This is why self-esteem is the set of perceptions, evaluations and ideas that one has of oneself, where it is grounds self-confidence, self-love, security, and being recognized and valued for oneself and for others. the rest.
Esteem is built throughout life, being fluctuating, but its bases are in the childhood and adolescence through parental relationships and, later, with groups pairs.
People with low self-esteem have acceptance conflicts with themselves and with others, they do not respect themselves and hardly others. A person with low self-esteem tends to be very multifaceted, to withdraw from other people or only seek benefits for himself, trying to fill a void they should only be filled through acceptance, security and trust.
3. Personal conflicts
Conflict is part of human life, man is constantly submerged in different conflicts be it personal, work or family. Even making a decision can involve a personal conflict in who must make a choice.
As social beings, the human being constantly interacts with other people, and through this interaction conflicts of greater or lesser intensity or severity are frequently born. It usually causes malaise, nervousness and it can transform into symptoms of anxiety. Faced with this situation, the person can make decisions that are not the most appropriate, moving away from another with whom he maintained an affective relationship.
Conflicts can be real or unreal. Real makes mention of differences of some kind that are objectionable and sustainable, which have been addressed but cannot be solved. The unreal type are based on misunderstandings products of a wrong interpretation, often based on fears resulting from past affective relationships.
4. Other interests
There are relationships that are based on the search for physical and sexual pleasure. These types of relationships are based exclusively on sex and sometimes the rules of the game are not made clear.
You may be in a relationship based exclusively on sexual pleasure and it is not clear in the type of affective situation in which it is submerged, bringing unknowns, uncertainties and misunderstandings. This is why communication is the best tool to know in what affective situation you are getting involved. There are no definitive rules in a relationship, sometimes the feeling can be stronger than the passion or vice versa.
In this article we talk about How to know if it is a roll or something else.
What should be done when a man or woman rejects you? Rejection does not have to be always brought from pain, you must learn to train yourself to adapt to new situations.
- Knowing yourself and analyze the situation that has passed without falling into reproach or feeling of guilt.
- Communication is and will be the best tool so that you put in context what has happened and know the causes of the rejection behavior exercised by the other person.
- It is important to analyze the opportunities that arise, to learn to manage your own emotions and become more aware and mature people. In this article we explain How to manage emotions.
- It is also important to know what you want and respect yourself by not staying in a place where you are being harmed or you are not getting the ratio you need. Here you will find information about How to forget someone.
It is important to note that if this situation has generated changes in your lifestyle, emotions and has affected their functioning psychic, you must go to a specialist to attend from a professional and scientific point of view the needs you are going. As mentioned above, it is to analyze the context of why the rejection has occurred and how that situation was transformed, either in an opportunity to analyze your own emotions and continue to strengthen, or quite the opposite, has generated a situation of alteration in your life that must receive the help of a specialist.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
