11 Tips to learn how to treat a NARCISSISTIC FATHER

Narcissistic parents are difficult to deal with because they have not reached the maturity necessary to act as such. In this sense, they are usually too attentive to themselves and are full of negative emotions such as frustration, anger, pride and envy. This means that they do not take up too much space to offer attention and dedication to your child.

In fact, narcissistic parents are capable of trampling on an entire family to satisfy their desires, without giving too much importance to the needs of others. For this reason, as adults, the children of narcissists try to atone and do not blame the parents and go to great lengths to make sure that no one notices the problem. In this Psychology-Online article we are going to deal with this delicate topic through some suggestions on how to deal with a narcissistic parent.

Index

1. Rely on the help of a specialist
2. Learn all about narcissism
3. Share emotions with family
4. Therapeutic resolution
5. zero contact
6. marital connection
7. Note family papers
8. Understanding Narcissist Behaviors
9. Find out if you grew up with a narcissistic parent
10. Learn to manage anger
11. put borders

When it comes to remedying intrafamily narcissistic abuse, you have to accept the fact that you cannot change a narcissistic person, even if it is your father. Your own disorder prevents you from accessing treatments that can help you.

In these cases, psychotherapy can help children of narcissistic parents to understand and process what has happened within their family. In the safe and welcoming room of the therapist, all the pain that is felt in these situations can be experienced. This method helps to regain trust and forge a new way of relating to your narcissistic parent.

If you are a person who has just realized that he is the victim of a childhood with a narcissistic father, first of all you should inform yourself about the characteristics of this personality type. You are probably wondering how a narcissistic parent behaves.

In these cases, having our database on narcissism will allow you to better face the complex emotions and conflicts that arise because of being subjected to an education narcissists. The more you know the more you can deflect any attack that your narcissistic father can inflict on you and you will be able to resolve the pain that he inflicted on you in the past.

There are bookstores full of fantastic books, articles and studies that can give you the answers you are looking for. In addition, you can also consult family relationship experts if you do not know how to act. The more you educate yourself and find support, the better you will cope with the situation.

If you don't know how to deal with a narcissistic parent, share your emotions with your siblings or more familiar family members. Remember that the narcissist sets people against each other to satisfy and get what he wants from them. Therefore, take some time to know and recognize the child that is still inside you that he needs to be loved and is still suffering. Love him, let him know that he has rights and lean on your family.

Some parents with mild narcissistic traits are open to family therapy, which can be very beneficial with the right therapist. However, it will only work if the parent feels that he is a responsible person and if he is willing to work on his childhood pain and his family problems. In these cases, to learn how to treat a narcissistic parent, it is good to turn to an experienced family therapist who can provide useful tools to the whole family.

The decision of cut off any contact It's huge, but you have to consider it when the father is very toxic, never admits any kind of responsibility and continues to be abusive towards his son once he has become an adult. It is a sad solution, but vital in many cases.

This decision can only be made when as a child you have really worked on your internal recovery. If you haven't taken care of your privacy, feelings of guilt can become a terrible burden, because the pain remains unchanged. Sometimes, after recovery, the decision of the zero contact it can be transformed into the desire to recreate the bond through the maintenance of a civil connection.

In the presence of a narcissistic parent, the decision to maintain a civil connection is the most common. It is about maintaining an educated posture, in which as a child you know and accept that the connection with your narcissistic parent does not necessarily imply having an emotional bond with him or her.

Contact is civilized, courteous, brief and emotionally detached. As a child, you must understand the superficiality and lack of perspective of change that a relationship with narcissistic parents has.

Each family has roles and dynamics in which the different members play. In some families there is the scapegoat, while in others there is the golden child. Ultimately, there are many fluid roles within the typical nuclear family, but they are always controlled by the narcissist and not always to the benefit of the individuals involved.

When learning how to deal with a narcissistic parent, you must understand the control they try to exert over the family and their desire to divide it. The best way to defend against this type of assault is present a unified front that requires cohesion and communication to be managed. If there is no one in your family you can trust, protect yourself and limit your contact with those who want to control you and your family.

A helpful step in dealing with a narcissistic parent is to understand their behavior patterns so that you can act appropriately. But who really is the narcissist? A person who never really opens up to anyone thinks he is worthless and therefore no one gets to know him well enough to give him an objective judgement.

To better understand the characteristics of a narcissist it may be helpful to refer to the illustrated diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5, since in the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders they have appeared, in a very detailed way, some characteristics of the narcissist. Let's see which ones:

• This type of pathology, known for eccentricity and self-centeredness, is made of weakness and insecurity.
• He appears strong, but is extremely fragile.
• They exalt themselves, but feel tragically alone.
• You experience a strong feeling of discomfort and insecurity that, instead of being verbalized, is hidden from the world.

In this article you will find more information about what is it to be narcissistic.

If you have doubts about whether or not you grew up with a narcissistic father, here are the keys you need to find out:

• You feel and have always felt that you are competing with your brothers: Narcissists see their children as extensions and not as people. When there are several sons, one of them is chosen to express the "qualities" of the father and the other son is used as a target for the father's frustrations, he is pointed out as the one who is not capable of doing anything, the troublemaker and that he is the cause of all the problems. problems.
• You are a person who lets himself be trampled: Growing up with a narcissistic parent has led you to believe that your needs are not important. Perhaps you are afraid of becoming your narcissistic parent to the point where thinking what to say or think "I have needs" or "my needs matter" is narcissistic, but thinking like that all you do is let everyone trample
• You feel more father than son: Not all narcissists are shameless. To draw attention to themselves as victims, some talk about serious problems and sometimes threaten to harm themselves to manipulate the actions of others. Children who live with these types of narcissistic parents end up being their emotionally supportive parents.
• Self-esteem is based exclusively on the results obtained: Some children of narcissists think that the only way to move on is to imitate their parents. The self-esteem it rises and falls based on what they "produce" and the result they get.
• You have no perception of your desires, your goals, yourself or your needs.

In the process of learning to deal with a narcissistic parent, it is easy for the conscience to arouse anger and resentment. Vengeance and revenge only serve to keep the narcissistic dynamic alive. No one needs her, not even you. These types of parents also have an affective problem. "It's not his fault" we say, although understanding does not mean justifying.

In short, when in doubt about what to do if my father is a narcissist, the best thing to do is avoid his provocations. That will take away his excuse to emotionally abuse you or to control himself. For this reason, you must let all controversy subside and be clear in communication and assertive. Sometimes it is necessary to physically move away from him until the dynamic self-extinguishes.

Narcissists are difficult to change, in fact they do not change, but without an audience their mask that hides insecurity, fear and low self-esteem, that is, all the characteristics that they project onto others.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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