Why are there distrustful people and how to deal with them

Trust is one of the most fundamental human experiences. In fact, if this feeling does not exist in any type of social relationship, it will be difficult to maintain or consolidate over time, since it does not become deep or sincere. However, sometimes it is not so simple to openly trust all the people around us, especially if we have been victims of abuse and betrayal.

Now, when people are very distrustful, they are always on the alert because they think that others have a sinister motive for approaching and harming them. This fact implies the anticipation of discomfort, a hostile attitude and the immediate predisposition to the slightest social friction. If you think that around you there are such individuals, in this Psychology-Online article we will tell you why there are distrustful people and how to deal with them so that you learn to manage them more effectively.

Index

1. How are suspicious people
2. Why are people distrustful?
3. How to deal with suspicious people

Distrustful people have certain characteristics associated with them, such as being cold, stiff, lonely and far away. Sometimes disappointment and betrayal are often the root of the problem. Among the most common signs of distrustful people we find the following:

• They express themselves with rancor, hatred or frustration.
• They have few relationships and these are usually very unstable and conflictive.
• They feel anxiety when they are in the presence of friends or family.
• They are afraid of physical intimacy.
• They believe that everyone is malevolent and deceitful.
• They live in a state of total alert to analyze every detail of those around them. They notice other people's body movements, words, and actions.
• They usually cross their arms, touch their chin or nose, even interlock their fingers as a sign of mistrust.

Mistrust is a fully valid response at specific moments, since it activates the parasympathetic system to threatening stimuli. However, the real problem appears when it becomes a generalized state that dominates the individual, affecting his daily life and his coexistence with others.

People do not become distrustful overnight, but change develops progressively, following a pattern of stages that usually begins at a very early age through the relationship with direct caregivers.

What is behind a distrustful person? One of the first stages that gives way to distrust is the doubt that, if not resolved, leads to suspicion and a state of constant anxiety. In addition to that, some of the reasons for people to be distrustful are the following:

• They have a excess of attachment and overprotective parenting by the parents.
• Were victim of betrayal, harassment or situations that affected their self-esteem.
• suffer or suffered from social rejection, which also affects the capacity for personal trust.
• In more serious cases, mistrust arises after suffering physical or mental abuse that cause him to develop a closed and extremely distrustful attitude towards life situations.

Some people who have suffered such situations are able to turn the page and learn from their experiences. However, many others get stuck in what happened to them and do not give themselves the opportunity to heal, so they associate everyone with someone who is treacherous. This hostile attitude intoxicates your mental state, keeps you in a constant hyperalert condition and causes people to become distrustful.

As you can see, the problem with suspicious people is with them, not with you. Therefore, it is necessary that you learn to treat them so that their attitude does not end up affecting you and keep your inner balance stable. To do so, the first step is to avoid falling into arguments with them and make them understand that you are not lying.

How is mistrust manifested? Distrustful people will never believe you, since they only want to hear their own truth. Try not to be so severe in your judgment and remember that distrust is the product of previous situations. Instead, try to understand that person, but without letting them dominate your own criteria.

cultivate healthier relationships to regain a sense of control over your own thoughts, thus increasing your self-esteem and not letting the distrust of others affect you. You don't have to walk away completely, but keep an appropriate distance so that his emotions don't overwhelm you.

Finally, if you want to help a person with mistrust, keep an objective focus so that you can understand that in the world there are still good individuals who can be fully trusted.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why are there distrustful people and how to deal with them, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.

• Bravo, m. J. S., & Serrano, M. c. AND. (2011). Trust-mistrust in conjugal relationships of transnational couples. Prospective: Journal of Social Work and Social Intervention, (16), 225-256.
• Sandoval, M. (2012). The mistrust of young people: substratum of social unrest. Last decade. vol.20 no.36 Santiago. Chili. https://www.scielo.cl/scielo.php? script=sci_arttext&pid=S0718-22362012000100003