Emotions have been an important part of our reality since the beginning of humanity. However, we are not always able to control the reactions that they produce and that can even lead us to act disproportionately in certain circumstances. After these types of reactions, it is common to feel guilty or remorse when realizing that we have acted in an exaggerated way. If this has happened to you, you may have gone through an emotional hijacking.
In order to delve deeper into the subject, in this Psychology-online article we explain what is an emotional kidnapping and how to avoid it. The idea is that you learn to identify your emotions so that you are able to control them and make them work in your favor.
Emotional hijacking is a response from the limbic system in the face of any threatening situation that the person experiences. This system acts to limit the reasoning or logical capacity of the neocortex. In this way, when feeling an alarm signal, the body activates the amygdala to secrete hormones such as cortisol or adrenaline, in order to prepare the body to flee or fight.
Therefore, emotional hijacking is the dominance of emotions over reasoning. This causes people to activate various defense mechanisms that include intuitive reactions and even the momentary loss of memory. The duration of an emotional kidnapping has to do with the emotional intelligence of each person and the control they have over their own emotions.
Likewise, people who suffer an emotional hijacking do not usually remember their actions clearly and may lose the ability to communicate. in a logical and coherent way, since the limbic system takes control momentarily, limiting the responses controlled, analyzed or rational.
What causes an emotional kidnapping? The American psychologist Daniel Goleman, states in his book "Emotional Intelligence" that this type of Kidnappings manifests itself when one's own emotions, generally negative ones such as fear, I hate the anger or rage, among others, are capable of "hijacking" the amygdala of the brain, which is the part in charge of emotional control.
Therefore, when the brain detects imminent danger or certain stressors, a rush of adrenaline and other survival hormones begins to try to make the body to face this supposed danger, momentarily blocking the capacity for analysis, logic and reflection.
That is why, during the emotional hijacking, rational decisions are limited, since the upper cortex of the brain is deactivated and people tend to be more reactive than rational. In addition, all attention is focused on pleasing the expressed emotion, due to which the analytical approach to the situation is lost.
How do people act under an emotional kidnapping? Emotional hijacking disconnects logic and reasoning to activate primitive reactions lodged in the subconscious brain. Therefore, some of the consequences of emotional kidnapping are:
- uncontrolled nerves and impaired blood circulation.
- Overstimulation of the organism due to the uncontrolled production of reactive hormones.
- Blocking of the cognitive and analytical part of the brain.
- Increased levels of stress and anxiety.
- Appearance of some somatic reactions: For example, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, dizziness, among others.
- The mind is clouded and certain memories of the event are limited.
- Are produced momentary reactionswithout thinking about the future consequences.
During an emotional kidnapping, one acts from the irrational and many times when the storm passes, regrets come for the actions committed.
There are different strategies to avoid an emotional kidnapping. One of the most effective is to increase your emotional intelligence so that you learn to proactively address your own emotions or those of others. In addition, you can put into practice the following recommendations:
- Acknowledge your emotions: Instead of trying to suppress what you feel, give yourself the space to identify your feelings in order to tune in to them. In this way, you will be able to handle them more assertively.
- Change settings immediately: one of the most effective techniques to control an emotional hijacking is to breathe up to 10 or think of a simple mathematical problem, since that way your mind will focus on another point and not on the emotion you are looking for dominate you
- Share your burden or seek help: If you feel overwhelmed, it is best that you try to vent with someone you trust or seek the help of a professional to help you cope with the situation.
As we have already mentioned before, emotional hijacking is part of the fight or flight response that the human species has always had. Therefore, there are a large number of examples of emotional kidnapping that are experienced on a daily basis. We leave you some of them below:
- If a wild animal attacks: In these cases, the person activates her survival system to flee the place or defend herself. So it blocks the rational or cognitive part of your brain.
- When someoneinsults you: When a person you hold dear insults you or talks bad about you without warning, you will experience anger or annoyance at what happened.
- If you feel very jealous by your partner and you cannot control those emotions, an emotional outburst occurs that can end in arguments. In this article you will find How to stop being jealous.
- You discover that someone has deceived you or you have some argument with a member of your family and you start a heated argument.
In any case, the important thing is to recognize that most of these situations can occur at any time in our lives, so we must learn to handle them tactfully and assertively.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
