Today there are many types of relationships in which monogamy is not the only norm for establishing sentimental relationships. Times have changed and with them the way of looking for a relationship, of loving and being loved. Consequently, if you are in a relationship and you have recently been asked or suggested to open the relationship, it is normal for you to have many doubts about it.
So that you can better understand and process the situation, in this Psychology-Online article, we will give you some very effective tips to know what to do when your partner asks you for an open relationship and react assertively.
Index
- What is an open relationship
- Think about what you really want
- Look for information about the types of open couples
- Make sure you are ready to face the challenges of an open relationship
- Don't start an open relationship to fix your own relationship.
- Define the limits of the open relationship
- Accept that things can change
- Respect the other person's boundaries
- Visualize the situation
- Seek external support
- Reflect on what to do
What is an open relationship.
An open relationship is an intimate relationship in which participants are involved with other people, in addition to his partner. Open relationships are generally consensual by all the people involved and require a high level of communication and respect. These kinds of relationships can take many different forms, but they all involve a certain level of openness and honesty between partners.
Also, they can be a great option for those who are looking for greater sexual satisfaction or simply a more diverse experience. However, each case is different and open relationships can also be very complicated and do not always have happy endings. For this reason, if your partner asks you to be in an open relationship, It is important that you take your time to think about whether it's something you really want.
Here are 10 tips on what to do if your partner asks you for an open relationship.
Think about what you really want.
One of the first things you should do if your partner asks you to be in an open relationship is analyze what you want. It's not a good thing to get into a non-monogamous dynamic just to please someone else, as the consequences of this decision can be counterproductive.
Therefore, if you are willing to try new experiences, it should only be because both you and your partner have committed to being honest with each other. If, on the other hand, you are not sure if an open relationship is what you want, you can talk to your partner about your doubts and concerns.
Look for information about the types of open couples.
Once you have analyzed whether or not you want to participate in an open partnership, the next step is seek enough information about the types of open couples that exist. For example, in addition to typical open relationships there is also the polyamory, the couples swingers, among others, each with its own characteristics.
The idea is that you identify with the one you feel most comfortable with to really enjoy the situation.
Make sure you are ready to face the challenges of an open relationship.
An open relationship can be very rewarding, but also very challenging. For this reason, make sure you are ready to face the challenges of an open relationship, before making the decision to start one. That is, you must evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of this type of relationship, since the consequences are presented in the long run.
For example, if you start the open relationship without feeling comfortable, you will most likely end up frustrated with the relationship.
Don't start an open relationship to fix your own relationship.
If you are going to start an open relationship as a desperate attempt to fix your current relationship, we already tell you not to do it. This decision it will be a wasted effort, since you cannot fix what is already broken by opening the relationship.
Define the limits of the open relationship.
Do you want to know what to do when your partner asks you for an open relationship? It is important that you and your partner define the limits of the open relationship before starting it. This will help ensure that everyone is on the same wavelength and prevent problems in the future. For this, they must communicate their expectations and needs very well. That is to say, make sure your partner knows what you want and you need the relationship and vice versa.
Likewise, it is important to establish acceptable limits in which honesty and sincerity are present at all times. This includes the type of information you want to share, whether it will be possible to have sexual relations with others people, how to organize special dates or the protection and prevention of STDs, among other aspects important. You can even have regular checks on the agreements to assess whether the rules have been followed.
If you are interested in knowing more about setting limits in your relationship, you can read the article How to build healthy relationships.
Accept that things can change.
Another aspect that you should take into account if your partner asks you for an open relationship is assume that things can change. Some of the limits you've set may change over time, and it's important to be prepared for that.
In any case, it will be something new in your relationship that, like any major change, can have significant results in your life.
Respect the other person's boundaries.
If you are in an open relationship, it is important that you be honest with yourself and with your partner. If there is no honesty, both of you are likely to hurt each other. Likewise, it's important to respect your partner's boundaries and not do anything that might hurt them or make them feel uncomfortable. Therefore, do not force him to do something he is not ready for or limit his needs.
Visualize the situation.
Visualization is a technique that will allow you to project your expectations Of future. In fact, this is an effective way to experience the emotions. For example, imagine your partner kissing another person, caressing them or simply sharing time with him or her romantically and evaluate how you are going to feel in those situations.
In this way, you will be able to assess whether or not you are ready to enter into a true open relationship.
Seek external support.
It does not hurt that, before embarking on such an unpredictable journey, you lean on groups of couples or some specialist in this type of topics that help you clarify all the doubts that may arise. With this type of guidance, both you and your partner will be able to explore your needs and even improve your communication skills.
Reflect on what to do.
Also, don't feel obligated to do anything you don't want to do. If you're not sure if you want to be in an open relationship, you don't have to agree. Therefore, if your partner asks you for an open relationship, It is important that you take your time to think itself is something you really want.
If you finally decide that an open relationship is what you want, make sure you're ready to face the challenges that come along with it and that you clearly communicate your needs and expectations.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What to do when your partner asks you for an open relationship, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
Bibliography
- Taormino, T. (2020). Opening up: A guide to creating and maintaining open relationships. melusine.
- Carrillo, A., Espinoza, M., Gutiérrez, I. R., & Cortes, J. m. (2019). Willingness to engage in consensual non-monogamous relationships. Electronic Journal of Psychology of the FES Zaragoza-UNAM, 9(17), 27-34.
