What is assertive indifference and how to apply it

Indifference is a visible feeling within the social context and that each of us, often involuntarily, It applies to many people or situations, often outside of us and our small world and circle of knowledge. However, if assertiveness consists of the ability to say what is thought without resorting to violence or aggressiveness, how can a disinterested person express her point of view?

At first glance, it might seem like an intrinsically contradictory concept, but it is indifference itself that which becomes the instrument to avoid conflicts and the risk of being manipulated by others. For this reason, in this Psychology-Online article we will explain what is assertive indifference and how to apply it.

Index

1. What is assertive indifference
2. How to apply assertive indifference in conflict situations
3. How assertive indifference is applied in relationships

Indifference is a neutral feeling or affective state that is often associated with an absence of emotions and emotional coldness. The indifferent person apparently shows

Assertive indifference is, therefore, behavior that appears disinterested only in appearance and that is the result of evaluating the pros and cons of the ongoing interaction, simulated to hide the emotional response to a certain stimulus or event. In this way, the person who performs it does not externally show any of her feelings to the interlocutor. who, consequently, only perceives indifference, the typical state of mind of someone who does not feel inclination or rejection towards others.

In turn, it is a Defense mechanism that is activated when a person feels threatened or potentially manipulated by the interlocutor to protect himself and maintain detachment.

Assertive indifference originates from the premise of the existence of a "power game" within the relationship. That is, one individual tries to somehow prevail over the other by carrying out manipulative behaviors or conflicting.

Has a friend or coworker ever irritated you with her jokes and ironic comments? By applying assertive indifference and showing a certain number of times that we do not give space to their jokes or sarcasm, we can deactivate this behavior. Another example could be when we have constant differences with someone that cause discomfort. In these cases in which we may come to think that we cannot do anything to fix it and that dialogue is impossible, the best option would be to apply assertive indifference. This fact means not giving in to provocations, ignoring offensive comments and, finally, giving up an authentic connection with that person. When we don't play their game, sooner or later the person will stop that kind of behavior.

Assertive indifference is, therefore, a tool to handle various conflict situations intelligently, since the best we can do in certain cases is "do nothing". In highly competitive environments, assertive nonchalance may even be a matter of survival. However, it is important to stay in touch with our emotions and assess how these types of relationships make us feel.

Assertive indifference manifests itself in any relationship area, even within the life of a couple. In these cases, this feeling can be put into practice in two main circumstances:

1. To test how much influence is exerted on the couple

Both in cases of ongoing relationships and in attempts to get closer to find out if there is hope of getting back together, assertive indifference is used to find out how much influence you have over the other. In this way, "not showing" what one feels puts the couple in a position of power over the other.

If used as a seduction instrument, indifference aims to destabilize the emotional component of the other person through the creation of a void or a lack. Clear answers are not given, feelings are not discussed, expectations are not reciprocal and debates are never opened in which active listening can be exercised. In this case, doubt is what keeps the other member of the couple on edge, creating a mechanism of frustration and insecurity.

2. To quell conflict and prevent escalation

On the other hand, showing indifference can also become the best tool to prevent an argument from getting worse and can escalate to an unpleasant situation. In the following article you will find how to solve couple arguments.

In short, assertive indifference in conflicting dynamics does not allow the interlocutor to understand what is happening in the mind of the other person and, by not being able to access her emotional sphere, the manipulator or manipulator will not be able to identify their points weak. Making use of assertive indifference means being able to choose which battles to fight and assess when it is better to remain silent and when it is better to react.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What is assertive indifference and how to apply it, we recommend that you enter our category of Social psychology.

• Forniz, S. (2022). How assertive indifference works. Recovered from: https://salute.robadadonne.it/indifferenza-assertiva-come-funziona/
• Broken, m. (2022). Psychology of indifference. Recovered from: https://www.crescita-personale.it/articoli/competenze/atteggiamento/psicologia-dell-indifferenza.html