Why arguments affect me a lot and how to manage them

Discussions are social situations that, in general, are disliked by most people due to the internal discomfort caused by seeing each other face each other. Whether the discussion develops one way or another will depend, to a large extent, on the personality of the people involved in this situation. Faced with such situations, people react in different ways depending mainly on psychological-emotional characteristics. that they have: they will be able to encourage discussion with their attitude, they will be able to show indifference and as if the thing were not with them, they will try by all means means to reduce the degree of discomfort generated or they will feel tremendously affected by such an unpleasant situation and may even be left blocked.

In the following Psychology-Online article we explain Why arguments affect me a lot and how to manage them.

Index

1. Why do arguments affect me so much?
2. Effects of discussions
3. How to manage discussions

The interaction of factors such as, for example, personality, the psycho-emotional state of the moment or the environment can cause one type of response or another. In the case of people who are excessively affected by facing any discussion, the main reasons that cause this reaction are:

• Innocence and early age: children, adolescents and young people who have not been particularly psychologically or emotionally hit may be affected before their first discussions due to the pain that their innocent state of purity feels internally in the face of such unpleasant situation.
• High sensitivity: People with high degrees of sensitivity tend to be equally affected by situations of conflict and discussion due to the intense pain that these situations cause them. In the following article you will find information about the Highly sensitive children: characteristics and how to educate them.
• childhood wounds: after having suffered during his childhood unpleasant situations of repeated and intense confrontations and arguments between his parents or attitudes disruptive actions by one of them, some people develop a defensive blocking reaction to any situation of conflict or discussion in their life. In other words, in the face of any possible discussion they remember the pain they experienced during their childhood and remain blocked without being able to react.

Arguments bother the interior of any person. Despite the fact that the development of certain types of societies has encouraged more aggressive and confrontational behaviors, the human being, in essence, is a peaceful being. That is why, before any discussion, part of the soul of the human being is struck and, therefore, hurt and affected.

As we have previously commented, in essence people are peaceful and discussions are alterations and imbalances in this cordial social functioning among human beings. In this way, we can consider that the effects of discussions on people in the short, medium and long term will be negative and detrimental to the health and balance of the person.

Specifically, the psychological effects that prolonged discussion situations can cause are stress, anxiety, anger and resentment, psychosomatic illnesses, increased aggressiveness, lack of attention, concentration and memory, anguish, despair, uncontrolled crying, etc.

Consequently, the body of people can be affected to a greater or lesser extent with effects such as headaches, migraines or headaches, vertigo, maladjustments and digestive disorders, inflammatory diseases due to chronic cell stress, skin eruptions or hair loss, among other consequences.

Taking into account the negative effects caused by discussions between two or more people, and in an attempt to facilitate how to constructively manage these situations, we offer below five techniques to manage the discussions:

1. Ask ourselves if our motive is really that important as to maintain this unpleasant situation. Seeing the situation in this way, it is quite likely that we give more importance to a good understanding than to the egocentric attempt to win the argument. Most of the discussions are encouraged by an egocentric position that does not allow us to even try to understand the reasons presented by the other person. For people who get stuck in discussions, this technique will help them to see how weight is removed from the situation seeing that the discussion is unnecessary and can be stopped with a good attitude and leaving the fear.
2. Trying to put ourselves in the other person's place. After considering whether our motivation to argue is worth more than maintaining a good relationship with the person we before me, trying to put ourselves in her place will help us to continue appeasing our internal motives to argue. Again, for people who are severely affected, making the effort to put yourself in the shoes of the another will help them to empathize with the person in front of them and to get out of their avoidance mechanism defensive.
3. Breath deeply and repeat internally "calm down, calm down,...". This will help us get out of the maladjusted emotional state (aggressive or blocking) that feeds and maintains the discussion. In this article you will find some Breathing exercises that will help you stay calm and reduce anxiety.
4. Strive to be patient and peaceful. An argument does not occur if two do not feed it. In this way, if we do our part to remain calm, patient and with a peaceful attitude, we will help evil environment originated diminishes and the other person involved loses the negative force that led him to also participate in the discussion. This technique will especially help people who get stuck because, although they do not participate aggressively in the discussion, they do participate passively. If you abandon this attitude of fear and become actively peaceful, the other person will lose the reason for your fight and confrontation.
5. Ask for forgiveness: is the best answer on our part to end a discussion pleasantly. It is not about losing your mind and letting the other win. It has nothing to do with that. It is about apologizing for our share of responsibility in the origin and maintenance of the discussion (even with regard to the passive attitude of the people who are blocked). Asking for sincere forgiveness is a miraculous tool that stops and erases all kinds of conflict when facing people involved with the absurdity of the situation compared to the priority of taking care of ourselves and treating ourselves well mode.

Putting these five strategies into practice will help us to stop any type of discussion in which we find ourselves in time, even to prevent them from being fanned as soon as they start. People with great difficulties to face these situations, in the same way, will be greatly benefited by adopting decisive tools that will allow them to abandon forever the fear and avoidance that kept them blocked.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Why arguments affect me a lot and how to manage them, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.