What to say to a person who talks bad about you behind your back

There are many subtle and clever ways to respond to a person who badmouths you behind your back, but sometimes it's best to say nothing. The first thing you should do in these cases is to recognize your worth and not allow this situation to affect your self-esteem or your self-control, since, In general, these types of people are envious of what you do and have no other way to deal with their emotions than by speaking ill of you.

We know that it is an uncomfortable situation that generates a lot of discomfort and that breaks trust. The good news is that in this Psychology-Online article we will tell you what to say to a person who talks bad about you behind your back. In addition, we also explain what you should do so that people do not speak ill of you. Our intention is that you find the most successful strategies so that you can defend yourself in a memorable and firm way.

Index

1. What to do when someone talks bad about you
2. What to say to someone who is talking bad about me
3. How to stop people from talking bad about you

When a person speaks ill of you, the first thing you have to do is keep calm so as not to complicate the situation. And then what can you do when someone talks about you behind your back? The answer is simple, and we summarize it in these 8 tips:

1. Do not react impulsively: When you find out that someone is talking bad about you, it is normal to feel a mixture of emotions, such as sadness, anger or frustration. However, it is important that you do not react impulsively or lightly. Take a moment to take a deep breath and think about how you want to approach the problem. Here we explain How to control your impulsivity.
2. Find the source of the problem: Instead of just accepting what the other person is saying about you, it's important that you try to figure out who is talking bad about you and why. If you understand the reason behind the criticism, you will be able to address the issue more effectively.
3. Talk to the person directly: If possible, try to talk to the person who is talking bad about you, but keep it calm and respectful. The idea is that you can explain your point of view. However, keep in mind that it is not always possible to talk to the person in question or that an agreement cannot always be reached.
4. keep your dignity: Although criticism can be painful, it is important that you keep your head up and act with dignity at all times. Don't play into the other person's game and avoid acting aggressive or vindictive and remember that your behavior says a lot about you as a person.
5. Don't get involved in gossip: While it can be tempting to respond to negative comments with more negative comments, it's important to avoid engaging in gossip and gossip. Don't spend energy talking bad about the other person, because that will only make the situation worse. Instead, try to stay positive and focus on yourself.
6. Surround yourself with positive people: In difficult times like this, it's important to surround yourself with positive and constructive people. Seek the support of your close friends and family, who will help you through the situation and remind you that you are valuable.
7. Be true to yourself: do not allow negative comments to change you as a person and keep your values ​​and be true to your convictions. Don't be influenced by what others think of you and don't change your behavior to please other people.
8. Learn from experience: Use this experience as an opportunity to grow and learn. Try to identify what you can do better in the future and how you can avoid similar situations. Also do not forget that no gossip or rumor defines who you really are.

Before responding to someone who is speaking ill of me, consider with a cool head whether or not it is worth responding to that person. If it is someone you are fond of and you think a conversation is needed, it is good that you take the initiative. However, in most cases it is best to try not to make the situation worse.

Whichever option you choose, here are some phrases so you can give a forceful response to that person who speaks ill of you behind your back:

• "I don't have a mailbox on my back. Whatever you have to tell me, tell me up front.". This is a direct and no-holds-barred way of telling that person that you are willing to face any unhealthy comments they make to you.
• "What you say about me speaks more ill of your personality than of me". Undoubtedly, this phrase reflects that you are more important than someone who has to use rumors to get attention.
• «I prefer that you talk about me behind my back, at least I know that you are behind me». This phrase suggests that it is better for someone to speak ill of you behind your back, since at least it is known that they are worth less than you because of the way they act.
• "What you say about me behind my back does not define me, but it does define you". This tells you that someone's words don't have the power to define who you are, but they do speak about the person who says them.
• "If you have something to say to me, talk to me directly instead of talking behind my back." This phrase suggests that you are confident enough to face criticism.
• "What you say about me behind my back just shows me that you're not brave enough to tell me to my face.". Directly, you tell that person that he is a coward and does not have the courage to face you by looking at your face.
• "People who talk about me behind my back only show their own insecurity and lack of confidence". Some very wise and direct words that suggest that people who speak ill of you behind your back do so because they feel insecure or lack self-confidence.
• "If you have problems with me, don't talk to me and case solved". With this phrase you are getting rid of that person once and for all.
• "I'd rather have a friend around who is capable of slapping me than be around people who stab me in the back". It is a phrase to accept criticism, as long as it is said upfront and honestly.
• "If you need to talk bad about me behind my back, clearly my life is more important than yours, don't you think?". This would be an epic way to tell that person that her life is so pathetic that she has to use what others are doing to capture other people's interest.

It is difficult to control what others think or say about you, but what you can do is keep your own emotions and the way you react to these types of problems under control. Additionally, there are some things you can do to minimize the chance of being badmouthed, such as:

• Be authentic: people often speak ill of others when they perceive that they are not acting sincerely or authentically. By being yourself and showing yourself as you are, you can make people have a positive impression of you and that there is no reason for them to speak badly behind your back. In this article we show you how to be authentic.
• always be respectful: Treat others as you would like to be treated. If you are respectful of others, it is less likely that they will speak ill of you and that other people will be very fond of you because of your personality.
• Maintain a good reputation: make sure you have a good reputation among your friends, family, and co-workers. If people know that you are a trustworthy person, they will respect you.
• Avoid negativity: If you are surrounded by negative people, they are more likely to speak ill of you. Therefore, try to be with positive people and avoid gossip and negativity.
• Do not speak ill of others: Do not do what you do not like to be done to you, therefore, avoid at all costs being the one who speaks more about someone behind their back.
• Choose the people you deal with carefully: Focus on your goals and don't give so much importance to those who don't deserve it.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to What to say to a person who talks bad about you behind your back, we recommend that you enter our category of Personal growth and self-help.

• Estanqueiro, A. (2006). Principles of interpersonal communication: to know how to deal with people (Vol. 59). Narcea Editions.
• Gil, S. (2020). Social Skills (Vol. 4). Editorial Flamboyant.