How to have a healthy open relationship

  • Jul 11, 2023
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How to have a healthy open relationship

To have a healthy open relationship it is important that you set your own goals and analyze if they change, establish sexual and emotional limits and manage jealousy and emotions. If you are considering having an open relationship with your partner, you must first consider several aspects so that love is strengthened. For example, not doing it out of obligation, what limits do you want to set and how to handle couple communication in this context.

Experts affirm that open relationships can work if they know how to carry them assertively, since this type of relationship is very complex. In this Psychology-Online article, we tell you how to have a healthy open relationship through a set of recommendations that are important to consider.

You may also like: Differences between an open relationship and polyamory

Index

  1. What does it mean to be in an open relationship?
  2. Don't do it out of obligation
  3. Analyze and define what type of relationship you want
  4. Set and communicate your goals
  5. Set sexual and emotional boundaries
  6. respect privacy
  7. Manage jealousy and emotions
  8. Do not hide the reality from the people involved
  9. Have open communication
  10. Prioritize the parent relationship
  11. Have flexibility and adaptability

What does it mean to be in an open relationship?

Open relationships are those contrary to monogamy, in which a couple agrees that one or two members of the couple can have relationships with third parties without affecting the relationship major. It is a form of romantic or sexual relationship in which the parties involved agree to have the freedom to explore emotional and/or sexual connections with others out of relationship.

In these types of relationships, couples often have clear agreements and boundaries about what is acceptable or allowed, which may include type of activities that are allowed, the people with whom they can have relationships, and how information about them is shared interactions.

Not all people are open to having this type of relationship, since they prefer a monogamous relationship, where emotional and sexual exclusivity is essential. Furthermore, it is essential discuss each person's boundaries, expectations, and feelings to make sure that both members of the couple are comfortable with the established agreement.

That being said, here are some recommendations so that you can have a healthy and satisfactory open relationship for both parties.

Don't do it out of obligation.

Nothing that is done out of obligation is good! And open relationships do not escape this tacit rule of life. This means that if your partner wants to be in a relationship of this type and you do not agree, the other party has to accept your decision and cannot force you. If you get involved in an open relationship, to please your partner or for fear of losing their love, the result will be very painful for you.

The best thing for this type of relationship to be healthy and balanced is that both parties agree and are convinced, since this determines the emotional well-being of both.

Analyze and define what kind of relationship you want.

Before you take the plunge, you need to understand what it means to be in an open relationship. First of all, you must be honest with yourself to determine if you feel like actually sharing sexual and emotional experiences with third parties within the relationship. Remember that no one can tell you what to do to seek your own pleasure and well-being. In this article we talk about What to do when your partner asks you for an open relationship.

How to have a healthy open relationship - Analyze and define what kind of relationship you want

Set and communicate your goals.

If you want to have a healthy open relationship, you must establish clear goals and limits and, above all, comply with them. Be clear from the beginning can ease burdens and avoid hurt feelings in the future. Before opening your relationship, it is essential that you consider aspects such as the following:

  • If you want third parties to know each other.
  • The time that will be spent with the third parties involved.
  • If you can repeat sexual encounters with the same person.

Also, it is important to note that goals can change over time. So it is necessary speak calmly about the limits set, and to be able to have the flexibility to modify them if necessary, or to know if you are both comfortable with the proposed objectives.

Set sexual and emotional boundaries.

When your partner asks you for an open relationship and you accept, it is essential to establish sexual and emotional limits. For example, the fact that it is a polygamous relationship does not mean that it is open to anyone, so you should agree as a couple how “open” that relationship will be. In this article, we tell you the differences between an open relationship and polyamory.

It is necessary talk about who you can be intimate with and under what conditions. For example, if protection will be used for penetrating encounters, or if you can have relationships with strangers you meet on the street or with people you already know, among many others details.

In addition, for open relationships to work, it is also essential to set emotional boundaries. For example, accepting that you will feel comfortable if a partner has casual encounters on Tinder, or if you can have romantic dates in another social context.

Respect privacy.

If you want an open relationship to work, it is essential to respect the privacy of the couple. From the beginning you must decide what information you want to exchange from your encounters with other people. In this sense, some couples decide to establish an intrinsic policy of "Don't tell, don't ask" and, instead, others tell everything.

How to have a healthy open relationship - Respect privacy

Manage jealousy and emotions.

For your own well-being, to have a healthy open relationship you must put jealousy aside. Remember that this type of relationship is based on the physical or affective connection of your partner with another person and you will know it. So what's the point of jealousy in this case? To avoid any misunderstanding, it is essential that both of you are very clear about the rules you have and do not cross the limits so that trust prevails at all times.

Do not hide reality from the people involved.

If you want to have an open relationship, it is important that you communicate it to the third parties that you involve in it. In this way, you will avoid misunderstandings or that the other forms false expectations of forming a romantic partner with you. The best is that speak honestly from the start, and that you clearly tell him the limits of the relationship, since, from there, the other individual will be able to decide if he is interested in continuing this experience or not.

Have open communication.

Whether an open relationship or not, communication is essential to keep love afloat. Try to establish honest communication in the that each of you can express your desires and aspirations.

Create a communicative dynamic with your partner free of judgments, and where you feel comfortable to show how you feel. Discuss all the details of the meetings and expectations for not to lose the union that you have between you. Also, to have an open relationship, you must trust that, although there are other people you see, you want to continue being a couple and have a project for the future together.

How to have a healthy open relationship - Have open communication

Prioritize the main relationship.

Learn to connect with your present partner and enjoy the bond you have with him or her. Keep falling in love with her / or daily to strengthen her love and remember that she is the person with whom you chose to share your life. To make an open relationship work, it is important that the balance between the relationship you already have and the others prevail, and that they fit together in the best possible way.

Have flexibility and adaptability.

Open relationships are dynamic and can evolve over time. Keep an open mind and be flexible to adjust agreements and rules as they both grow and change. Constant communication and a willingness to adapt are key to maintaining a healthy open relationship. If you want to know more about this type of relationship, in this article, we explain whether open relationships work.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to have a healthy open relationship, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

Bibliography

  • Taormino, T. (2020). Opening up: A guide to creating and maintaining open relationships. Melusine.
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