What is ACTIVE LISTENING?: characteristics, exercises and examples

Have you ever wondered how good you are at listening to other people? Knowing how to really listen is a skill that develops over time and practice, because although it seems that we all listen to others, not all of us do it in the right way. People who are very empathetic with others and those who tend to consider themselves also successful in the workplace and social, tend to have this skill well developed.

¿What is active listening? How can we know whether or not we are listening adequately to others? How can we develop Active listening? What are the benefits that actively listening to other people brings for U.S? In this Psychology-Online article, we will talk about the active listening: characteristics, exercises and examples. In addition, we are going to explain in detail everything you need to know about this topic.

Index

1. What is active listening? Definition according to psychology
2. Active listening: exercises and examples
3. Benefits of active listening

When we speak of active listening we refer to a way of communicating where we intend to let the person know that they are communicating something to us that really you are being cared for and understanding. When we actively listen to someone, we do so consciously, that is, we make an effort to focus all our attention on what the other person is communicating to us and not only that but we also pay enough attention to really know how it is feel.

It is necessary to mention that it's not about pretending that you are paying all your attention to the other person but dedicate your full attention to them and let them know that what they are telling us is really important.

Characteristics of active listening

So that we can consider that we are really listening actively, when we listen we must comply with some of its following characteristics:

• Do not interrupt to the person who is communicating something to us.
• Focus all our attention in what they are telling us.
• Pay attention not only to what they tell us but also to the gestures and words.
• Show a willingness to listen to others.
• Rectify what the other person tells us to be sure that we have understood it properly.
• Do not make hypotheses or assumptions about what the other person is going to tell us.
• Not being distracted and thinking about something else when the other is talking to us.
• Show the other person that you are really paying attention to them.
• Look at the face to the person who is speaking and pay attention to their facial expressions.

Normally, we are not used to actively listening to others and we think that just by being present when someone is communicating something to us and when we hear what he tells us, we are listening to him as we should and this is not it is so.

6 Active listening exercises

Some exercises that we can carry out to develop our listening skills are the following:

1. Do not judge

Every time someone is saying something to you, only listen carefully and avoid judging them. Remember that this person is talking to you about what he feels or the way he perceives things and this does not necessarily have to do with the way you do it.

• Example: A friend is telling you about her fear of getting close to the person he likes since it is very difficult for him to start a conversation with that person and get to know him / her. So in this case the last thing you should do is start judging him and think or say things like “how stupid you are”, “how can you be afraid to talk to someone?”, Etc. better try to enter his world and understand him since we are all different and what for some is very easy for others may be the opposite.

2. Avoid giving advice

In the vast majority of cases, when a person is telling us about something that happened to him, he does it only to vent and because he likes to feel that someone is there to listen to him. So if the person does not ask you, avoid starting to give them advice, which will surely be based on your experience and not that of the other person.

• Example: When a friend is telling us how sad he is to have ended his relationship and begins to cry and vent, so many times we tend to start giving advice or saying things to try to "lessen your pain" when that person just wants to be heard.

3. Do not interrupt the other

You should never interrupt the other person when he is speaking unless it is absolutely necessary since for example what You are going to tell him something extremely important or you need to ask him to repeat something he is talking about because you did not understand well, etc.

• Example: When someone is telling us something and suddenly we interrupt him to tell him something that happened to us similar to what he is telling us. The best thing is that we wait for the person to finish speaking and then we can also share our experience with him (her).

4. Pay attention to the details and let it be known

When you talk to your interlocutor, try to mention some detail that he told you the last time they spoke or on previous occasions who have done it, this will cause them to have more confidence, they will feel more heard and valued and will make them dare to open up more with you.

• Example: When someone is telling you something that happened to them and at that moment you make a small comment remembering a situation that happened to you in the past and that has to do with what is happening to you in your Present.

5. Paraphrase

When you are talking to the other person you can repeat parts of the last sentences that he says with the to make it clear that you are listening and to make sure you understand well.

• Example: Your neighbor is telling you how badly he went when he was a child since he suffered from physical and psychological abuse from his father, so you can paraphrase things like: back then your father mistreated you when you were a child, etc.

6.

Reflects the feelings of the other person

Apart from paraphrasing things that your interlocutor is saying, you can also mention some aspects that you can interpret about how he felt in the situation he was in.

• Example: Your co-worker is telling you how bad it was when his grandmother was sick. So you can say things like: "I imagine you must have felt very sad and helpless", "how sad it is when grandparents get sick", and so on.

There are many benefits of knowing how to actively listen to other people, however, among the most important are the following:

• Help the person to resolve conflicts interpersonal more easily.
• Increase self-esteem of the person speaking as they are made to feel important and valued.
• Misunderstandings are avoided.
• Increase the level of empathy that you have towards other people.
• The person who listens can increase your general literacy level and intelligence by staying more easily with what the interlocutor communicates.
• The social skills of the person who listens.
• An image of intelligence is projected towards others when noticing that all the attention is paid to the other person.
• Improve interpersonal relationships.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Active listening: characteristics, exercises and examples, we recommend that you enter our category of Cognitive psychology.

• Codina, A. C. J. (2004, September 3). Know how to listen. A valuable intangible. Retrieved January 24, 2019, from https://www.redalyc.org/pdf/549/54900303.pdf
• Navarro, P. F. N. (2017, October 5). Active listening: practical techniques to become an expert. Retrieved January 24, 2019, from https://habilidadsocial.com/escucha-activa/