Undoubtedly both terms such as assertiveness and empathy are often confused very often because it is about social skills that people can develop and that help us improve our relationship with others. Who has not met a person who knows how to make requests to others safely without the need for arguments? Or who has not met a person who is often liked by many people because of her ability to listen and understand her?
There are many people who have highly developed this type of social skills that are undoubtedly of great help to be able to be successful in almost any area of their life. It is necessary to point out that each and every one of us, if we want to, can develop this type of skills, the only thing that is needed is to change habits in our way of acting and interacting with others and a lot of practice and constancy. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to know what are the differences between assertiveness and empathy, For this we will define both concepts and we will provide you with some recommendations to develop these skills.
We will begin by defining each of these terms and provide some examples that will help clarify the differences between the two.
What is assertiveness
Assertiveness is a social skill that allows the person express their likes, desires and interests in the most appropriate way and at the right time. She does this based on respect for herself and others and without feeling any kind of discomfort or anxiety. The assertive person is clear, sincere and direct since they really express what they want but without hurting the feelings of others, with the sole purpose of asserting their personal rights.
A clear example of assertiveness would be a person who does not want to do something that another wants him to do and does not have It is difficult to say no to him, however he does it in a correct and peaceful way, without the need to lie or argue. Another example is that of a person who is verbally attacked by her boss or by a coworker, this person will have no problem recognizing and defend yourself adequately, without insulting, yelling or on the contrary acting passively, will let you know your disagreement and enforce your rights as person.
What is empathy
Empathy is also, as we have seen, a social skill that allows understand and acknowledge the opinions and feelings of other people, without needing to feel identified with them or to adopt them. An empathic person knows how to listen and put himself in the place of the other, knowing their way of thinking and perceiving things. This is done without judging and without their opinions or preferences intervening, which makes the other person feel really understood and taken into account. This is the reason why empathic people “click” more easily with others since make them feel recognized and valued despite not agreeing on tastes, beliefs and / or preferences.
An example of empathy is the work of psychologists, psychologists obviously have to be empathetic with their patients since they have to listen to them and really put themselves in their shoes in order to help them find the most appropriate solutions for their personal situation, based solely on the beliefs and principles of the person without imposing the his. The psychologist has to respect the personal differences of each person and act based on them, you can never put your own first as this would never generate understanding but rather imposition.
Another example would be that of those people who are told about a problem or situation that is generating a lot of concern and that when they finish talking to them we are left with that feeling of having been really heard and understood, as if that person really knew how we feel, which causes the company of him to please.
In this other article we will discover some traits of a person with little empathy.
After having detailed what each of these important social skills consists of, we are going to know roughly what makes them different.
- Assertiveness as opposed to empathy is more aimed at make our own opinion known, to assert our rights and defend ourselves when the situation warrants it. This means that it is more focused on ourselves more than on others.
- Empathy puts the focus mainly on others, in listening to the opinions and feelings of other people, leaving aside at that moment our own, since they are listened to without judging.
- The assertiveness It is not necessarily aimed at building a deeper bond with the other person since its main purpose is not that but look rather for yourself.
- Empathy can generate a deeper and closer bond with others by trying to understand and attend to them with sufficient attention
So an assertive person does not necessarily have to be an empathic person and on the contrary, an empathic person does not have to be assertive. Obviously, a person who has developed both skills will surely have an easier time interacting with others and will be able to function in any area. Although both have different purposes, the main aspect that unites them is that both are based on respect and improve communication with others.
As mentioned at the beginning of this article, each and every one of us can develop this type of social skills, for this we must practice and be constant in our new way of acting. Here are some tips so that you can develop empathy with others.
- Listen actively to others without judging them or imposing your own opinions or points of view. When someone is telling you about something that happens to them, try to pay as much attention as possible, focus on understand the reasons that she has that make him act like this, find out how he feels, what thoughts go through his head, etc. Stop putting your own thoughts and emotions first, make an effort to "enter her world" and understand it.
- Paraphrase what it says. Every time he tells you something, once the last sentence is finished, if you still have not fully understood what he thinks or feels, you can repeat the last sentence he has said, which will make him feel heard and will lead him to continue explaining to you what he is saying. happens.
- Let him know the emotion that you think he may be experiencing. After paraphrasing a small part of what he said, you can add to let him know the emotion you think he may be feeling. For example: "what you tell me that you realize that your mother is constantly manipulating you and stops talking to you, I imagine that she must be making you feel very alone, right?"
- Do not interject your ideas or judge what he is telling you. If the person is opening up to you by telling you what is happening to them and their way of perceiving the world, it is because they feel comfortable and understood, she will stop feeling the same if you start giving her advice based on your own way of seeing things, she will feel judged and despised. So if you are going to give advice, base yourself on what she is telling you only and what she is feeling and perceiving.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
