How to learn to be assertive with positive communication? Assertive communication opens doors in your life, since, through this experience, you have the ability to express your opinions and points of view while respecting your rights, but also those of those who surround. There is an interpersonal relationship scheme that can help you to walk in the direction of assertiveness: "I am fine, you are fine." That is, position yourself in a framework of reality in which two people are related from interpersonal equality.
Continue reading this Psychology-Online article to discover how to learn to be assertive through the best techniques.
Index
- Express your opinions to be assertive
- Learn to say no to gain assertiveness
- Defend your rights
- Assertive words
Express your opinions to be assertive.
You are a unique and unrepeatable person. You can contribute your own essence to others. Therefore, value your own voice and your points of view. It is not about imposing your opinions, but about expressing them naturally. Sometimes people avoid showing their opinions for fear of conflict.
If you've ever felt this way, then start taking the initiative to show your opinions in simple, concrete actions. For example, if you are meeting to go to the movies with your group of friends, clearly state which movies are of particular interest to you and which ones you don't want to see.
Learn to say no to gain assertiveness.
How many times do you suffer from your own internal contradictions having said yes to something that you really wanted to say no? "No" is a short word, yet it produces such a psychological impact on the mind of one utters this message that, when a person has a low level of assertiveness, suffers by establishing limits.
Remember that when you say no to someone else's request, you are not rejecting that someone, you are simply putting into practice your ability to decide. Stop justifying yourself for everything Like you really have to. The language is rich and broad. Therefore, use it to open doors.
How to learn to be assertive in practice?
Imagine that a friend wants to speak with you today to tell you about an important matter, but you have had a horrible day and you do not have a good disposition to really focus on that conversation. In that case, you can express an assertive message like this: "Thank you very much for sharing with me what has happened to you. I had a bad day today and I am very tired. If you like, we can talk tomorrow. Then I can give you the time and attention you deserve. "
Very often, we move into a reduced framework of closed questions that only admit the answer of "yes" or "no". However, it is important that you make positive use of language to use it in all its nuances.
Defend your rights.
Another secret to being more assertive is express messages in the first person. For example, imagine that you often get angry with a friend because he is late for plans and you always have to wait. In this case, a frequent mistake is to fall into reproach through messages such as "you are unpunctual."
To gain assertiveness, try to express your requests following the essence of "I". For example, you can express this idea: "When you are late for our plans, I feel that you do not value my time and that makes me feel sad." When we express an idea in the first person, we awaken more empathy in the other. That is, assertiveness invites understanding.
Although language opens doors when used correctly, remember that you don't just express a message through words. It is important that your tone of voice is also aligned with the information in the verbal message and body language. Today, there are many different means of communication. However, if you have an important matter to address, it is best to speak with that person face-to-face, since eye contact creates a climate of emotional trust.
Assertive words.
Another of the best techniques to be assertive is take care of your communication: "Thank you", "I'm sorry", "I love you" and "please". Beautiful, simple and constructive words that, used in the right context, are a clear example of assertiveness. I mean, feel free to apologize if you made a mistake. Be grateful for the pretty gestures that other people have with you in their daily routine.
Express your feelings of affection freely and naturally. At work, remember that the "please" formula generates empathy and kindness. Language builds your reality. Therefore, try to keep your words positive and kind.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
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