Why don't I get along with my mother

Unfortunately, there have always been cases where there is conflict in the mother-child relationship and no matter how hard you try decipher the reason why the relationship with the mother is so negative, it is difficult for the person to reach a conclusion exact.

In this Psychology-Online article: why don't I get along with my mother, we are going to let you know the main reasons why this happens as well as what may be motivating your mother to act as she has done so far.

"Why can't I get along with my mother?"It is a matter that generates a lot of pain for the person who experiences it, since what he would most like to be able to feel closer to her and, in some cases, if this issue is not worked well it can affect the self-esteem of the person. It is necessary that before knowing what are the main reasons why you do not get along with your mother, also make yourself known with detail what may be happening to her or what has happened that has influenced her to act the way she does now.

• Lack of empathy.
  One of the main reasons why you do not get along with your mother is due to the lack of empathy that exists between both parts of her or hers towards you. Do you feel misunderstood every time you talk to your mother? Do you feel that she has never been able to understand you? Do you feel judged by her? If your answer is yes, this is probably the root of the problem, your mother has not really known how to put herself in your shoes and see things under your own perception, only see them from her perspective and her own parameters, that is why she cannot understand you. She is not aware that reality is different for each person, that everyone perceives life differently and this is totally normal.
• Need to control. Some mothers who have low self-esteem base their worth on being in control of their children since it is something that gives them meaning in their lives. It is difficult to have a good relationship with a controlling and possessive mother since she will always try to get into the life of her adult child of hers and be aware of everything she does. There are mothers who do not allow their children to make their own decisions and manipulate them so that they end up doing what they want.
• Coldness. There are mothers who have never or rarely expressed any kind of affection towards their children. Mothers who seem to directly or indirectly send an explicit message to their children of rejection and lack of acceptance. They behave in a way emotionally distant and cold which makes it difficult to have a good relationship with them.
• Incompatibility. It may be that just your personality and that of your mother do not fit at all, as well as their ideas and beliefs, so each time you try to talk to her they end up getting angry or you just don't feel in tune with her and this causes you frustration.
• Narcissism. Another possible reason why you don't get along with your mother is that she is a person who focuses a lot on her. herself, she worries too much about "what they will say" and how what happens to you affects how they perceive her. she. It is moved almost exclusively by her own interests, and this makes you not feel truly valued and loved by her. The children of narcissistic parents they can present behavioral and coexistence problems.

Some of the reasons why he has that way of being that you do not like or that he is simply not compatible with you, are the following:

• It is very likely that her parents have behaved in the same way with her when she was a child and therefore right now she cannot offer you something that she has lacked her entire life.
• The insecurity It is another important factor why your mother is acting like this with you and not allowing you to have a better relationship with her. For example, in the case of mothers who only think about her interests and want to control their children, the only thing that shows is their high degree of personal dissatisfaction and low self esteem.
• If you feel that your mother does not understand you, surely she is not aware that each person she perceives the world differently and believes that things should be a certain way to everybody.

It is necessary to mention that there are many other possible reasons why your mother is acting like this and you do not have a good relationship with her, such as the fact that they have had many family problems and they have not known how to solve them properly, the one that has failed you or at least that you have felt at some point in your life, that they do not have the same values ​​... between many other things.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.