Mother and child relationships are complex and are conditioned by the difficulties of this affective bond. Love is the main characteristic of this tie. However, there are also examples of toxic relationships between mother and child, situations in which the mother is not a positive influence on him. It is rare for a person to ask this question: "Why does my mother hate me so much?”. However, for those who ask this question, this question can be very painful because few experiences hurt as much as the rejection of a mother prolonged in time. In Psychology-Online we talk about this question.
Index
- My mother makes me feel bad
- Mothers who have not wanted to be
- My mother despises me out of envy
- Toxic and harmful mothers
My mother makes me feel bad.
When a son wonders why her mother does not love him, she should not feel responsible of this fact. In reality, this situation is talking about that person's own inability to show their affection in a positive way. It is very possible even that what she feels is not hatred, however, her son perceives this resentment or this indifference as such.
Each person shows the relationship that she has with herself through the bond that she establishes with others. For this reason, in a bond as intimate and emotional as that of mother and child, deficiencies emerge internal growths and unresolved knots showing the inner growth work that she must perform that person. Perhaps, the difficulty in giving love from a mother is related to the lack of love that she had in her childhood.
If you want to get more tools to deal with this situation of contempt, we recommend you read the following article: I feel like my mother doesn't love me: what do I do?
Mothers who have not wanted to be.
Some mothers may have a hard time developing this feeling of attachment and special bond if they have not really wanted to have a child. The unconditional acceptance of a child occurs even before her birth through her own desire for motherhood. However, those who did not plan to be mothers may feel that this change in their life script has significantly affected their own expectations.
The care, time and dedication that a child requires can become a source of dissatisfaction for a person who internally had a different plan for her own life. From this perspective, the child becomes the visible memory of those dreams, goals and objectives pending to be fulfilled. That is, the person observes this personal resignation as a burden.
Some people have been mothers for reasons that are more closely related to social conventions of age than by an internal conviction. However, the complexity of this feeling is profound since many people condemn it and do not recognize it as such.
My mother despises me out of envy.
The feeling of envy can also be projected into such a relationship when a rivalry arises. Metaphorically the role of children of narcissistic parents it has been represented in the tales of Snow White or Cinderella.
It might seem unusual for a mother to envy her children, however, the complexity of this interpersonal relationship is also shown in the fact that some mothers observe themselves in the destiny of their daughters, that is, they do not assume that they are independent beings to make their own lives and make their own decisions.
In reality, they deposit in their daughters those dreams and youth projects that they had with the desire to be able to live this pending issue. However, if the daughter does not give in to her aspirations and remains faithful to her own decisions, this can cause her mother to take this situation as a personal rejection.
"Why does my mother hate me so much?"If at any time you ask yourself this question, think that it is very possible that in reality that is not the exact feeling but that it may be another type of internal lack. However, despite the fact that motherhood is often talked about from the ideality of the perfect, not all mothers are good mothers.
Toxic and harmful mothers.
In this toxic mother concept One can classify the behavior of those mothers who, through manipulation, perfectionism, emotional blackmail, victimization or any limiting attitude that damages the child's self-esteem, generates suffering exhausting.
A toxic mother is one who produces emotional pain in her child through repeated behavior and he does nothing truly meaningful to change that situation by showing a chronic lack of empathy. In other words, it is a pathological relationship that also makes her suffer.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why does my mother hate me so much, we recommend that you enter our category of Family problems.
