"Why am I having trouble relating to people?" This is the question that many people ask themselves at regular times in their lives or in specific circumstances. Social skills and attitude are not linear, a person can go through stages in which he feels more closed in on himself and is less receptive to ties with others. It is positive not to idealize the charisma of others in friendship or love because the fact that personal relationships cost, in a certain sense, is natural.
Do you feel that it is difficult for you to relate to people? In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to explain the possible causes why it costs you to talk to others and we will give you some advice about it.
In social ties, conflicts, differences of opinion and unfulfilled expectations arise. A person can feel very comfortable in the theoretical plane of the reflection on the feelings and the emotions, however, human knowledge not only consists of this theoretical basis, but also of the skill. That is, from practice.
Here are five possible causes why you find it difficult to relate with the people:
1. You have to get out of your comfort zone
In a sense, many people can relate to what the difficulty entails in the context of social ties, since when someone opens up to otherness, he leaves the field of individuality. And then, a change emerges that breaks that comfort zone.
2. Small social circle
Due to different circumstances, a person may have a life story whose script has taken place in a environment that has overprotected the protagonist.
3. Limiting beliefs
Limiting beliefs are not in reality, they are in the mind. There are many limiting beliefs that a person can say to himself in relation to social skills. For example, "I am a boring person."
4. Fear of fear
Fear is a very healthy experience because it activates the criterion of prudence. However, the fear of fear is a different matter. This pattern reflects the anguish felt by the person who lives this circle of negativity by anticipating reality from this perspective. For example, the fear of not having conversation with others or the fear of feeling the stress of that moment can cause a person to avoid those situations in which he believes that he is exposed to that happen.
5. Negative experiences
It can also happen that a person has felt out of place in different social settings and this discomfort leads him to extract interpretations with absolute value. Find out here how to overcome psychological trauma.
Each person is different. No one can get to know you as well as you. Is it difficult for you to socialize with women? If this is your case, hopefully these suggestions will help you.
- Identify what Negative effects you think this circumstance produces in your life. You can not only observe these consequences from the perspective of the first person, but also from the perspective of others. For example, according to this criterion, it is a negative effect that other people do not have the possibility of knowing you as you are.
- Mark yourself specific and realistic objectives. Social skills are practical, therefore, if you want to increase your ability in this area, you have to make the leap to the value of experience.
- Emotions are not negative, although they are sometimes uncomfortable. It should be taken into account so as not to turn the emotion of uncertainty into an excuse to avoid new situations. Listen to your emotions but also understand the context in which they occur.
- Experiential training. Participate in a workshop on social skills as this experience can give you a new perspective on your situation and new resources to cope with change.
- What strengths do you see in your relationship skills with men? So, try to transfer the security of those strengths to socialization with women. If you want to learn more about this, you can refer to this article on how to better communicate with a woman.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
