AFFECTIVE LACK: what is it, consequences and how to cure it

Affective deprivation is at the base of the vast majority of manifestations of emotional, psychic and psychosomatic problems of people throughout their lives. The human being is a sociable being who needs to live fraternally with other people, love and be loved. The cases of affective deficiency are the result of an affective deprivation of the people during their first years of life carried out by the caretakers of him in an unconscious way in most of the cases.

In this Psychology-Online article we will explain in detail the importance of this issue, the different manifestations it presents at different evolutionary moments and the possible treatments. We'll see now what is affective deprivation, its consequences and how to cure it.

Index

1. What are affective deficiencies according to psychology
2. Types of affective deficiency
3. Consequences of affective deficiency
4. Treatment for affective deficiency syndrome in adults

The affective deficiencies are the devastating consequence of a affective de-deprivation in a child during early childhood, that is, a lack of affection or lack of affection. This period is fundamental in the human being to establish the bases (of security or insecurity) on which his later life project will develop and build.

The optimal and healthy development of people requires positive affective-emotional care and attention during early childhood. In cases where this does not occur as it should (due to parental incapacity, serious illness, separation, etc.), the feeling of lack of affection or lack of affection, experience that will condition very negatively in almost all areas of your life, if the situation is not reversed in time. The mother (or surrogate mother figure) and the family are the main figures responsible for the affective care of children during their early childhood. To a large extent it is in their hands to establish secure, unstable or insufficient emotional foundations in children.

Affective deprivation is gestated during early childhood, as we have already mentioned, but its manifestations can occur throughout life. The sooner they manifest themselves and are perceived and cared for, the better the result of the treatment will be.

Affective deficiency in children

Affective deficiency often manifests itself at an early age in three possible ways:

• With an answer of continuous affective demand: they are dependent children who continually seek to be accompanied and whose self-esteem depends on the value of others; They need, on many occasions, to be the center of attention, to feel valued; they get frustrated and angry when they are not cared for as they think they deserve and need; etc.
• With an answer of aggression, opposition and rejection: their internal pain is expressed on others (the mother or other people) and on the environment with destructive behavior: antisocial, challenging, insubordinate, aggressive, authoritarian behavior, etc. In this article we talk about positive discipline for children with aggressive behaviors.
• With an answer of indifference and lack of interest: in these cases, the child isolates himself and hides within himself or herself. Somehow, he disconnects from the environment to stop suffering. In these cases, the children are usually passive or inactive; with great development of the imagination, very observant and analytical; not very communicative and expressive; with great difficulties for social interactions; etc.

Affective deficiency in adolescents

If the person with affective deficiency has gone through childhood in a more or less "normal" way, it is possible that during adolescence all this internal discomfort explodes. The most frequent behaviors among adolescents who have gone through these experiences are:

• Precocious, unconscious and risky sexual behavior, with pregnancies and possible abortions in girls, as a consequence of this immature sexual behavior.
• Antisocial behavior, aggressive, dominant and, again, risky, with a high probability of committing a crime, as a means of emotional relief.
• Fearful behavior and submission, with the consequent social isolation.
• Addictive behaviors (alcohol, drugs, risk sports, etc.) as a means of physiological and emotional discharge.
• Abusive behaviors towards one's parents, towards one's partner, towards strangers, etc.

Affective deficiency in adults

Childhood affective deficiency, if it is not detected and treated in time, manifests itself in adulthood, limiting the person in many aspects of her life. In this way, and as we have commented so far, the adult with affective deficiencies will behave with one of these three predominant behavioral styles (or with a combination of several):

1. Aggressive styling, not very empathetic, authoritarian and antisocial.
2. Dependent style, controlling, jealous, hoarding, etc.
3. Funky style, submissive, with little social contact, very imaginative, with peculiar characteristics and interests, etc.

Paternal or maternal affective deficiency

All affective deficiencies come from insufficient or ineffective emotional care during early childhood. The severity of the consequences and the difficulty of overcoming this deficiency will depend on several factors:

• the moment of beginning of the experience
• the duration time
• the intensity of the negligence

The sooner the experience of inattention / separation begins, the longer it lasts and the more intense it is, the more negative the consequences will be and the more complicated its healing. However, this should never be a reason to stop intervening.

Affective deficiency in the couple

The manifestation of affective deficiency in the couple can be the result of an affective deficiency in one of the two components of the couple, even in both.

• In many cases, people with emotional deficiencies establish relationships but are unable to show affection due to the personal limitations that his own childhood experience has entailed.
• In other cases, the lack of affection or lack of affection manifests itself in a obsessive relationship, of dependence, of control and of jealousy with respect to the partner, precisely due to his own childhood affective deprivation.
• In a third case, the person with emotional deprivation will treat her partner in a aggressive, disrespectful and unaffectionate.

It is not strange to see how the combination of these profiles of people constitute couples:

• The aggressive profile with the dependent: in these cases there are high probabilities of situations of abuse.
• The passive profile with the dependent: in these cases, the dependent person ends up frustrated with the absence of her partner.

Does the lack of family affection have consequences? Yes, people who are victims of affective deprivation develop an immature profile that leads to behavioral disturbances and learning difficulties. In general terms, we can name the following as consequences of lack of affection or lack of affection:

• Emotional disturbances: irritability or aggressiveness, emotional instability, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, suicidal wishes, cognitive distortion of reality, etc.
• Behavioral disorders: antisocial behavior, withdrawal, lack of assertiveness, resentment, disobedience, lack of cooperation, insubordination or submission, dependents, unstable behaviors, etc.
• Psychosomatic disorders: deterioration or immaturity in development and growth, regressions; propensity to falls and accidents; alteration of the body scheme; etc.
• Cognitive disorders: attention deficit, hyperactivity, lack of concentration, poor academic performance, difficulty in processing information, etc.

When a person with emotional deprivation reaches his adult life without having received any kind of help, the consequences on his person may have caused great damage. However, it is always possible to reverse the situation and for this it will be necessary that the treatment allows, among other things:

• Find the origin of your emotional deficiency (usually located in the family environment) and become aware of the pain that this has caused. This requires an affective and respectful accompaniment from the therapist, which will allow externalize the pain lived and be contained as it was not at the time
• After this first step, it is necessary to go shredding all his personality to see how this affective lack and the pain that it generated in him shaped all his beliefs about himself, about others and about the world, his emotions and, consequently, his behaviors of him.
• Is awareness coupled with the therapist's claim that his real person has great potential that has been limited by the a character who accepted and internalized about himself, will provide him with the necessary motivation to undertake changes necessary.
• Start a cognitive restructuring work, abandoning all negative and absurd thoughts and awakening your true potential by developing listening to yourself, to your own intuition.
• Reaffirm in the being that is really being born and is really him.
• During the whole process we can also make use of body work, breaths and relaxations, etc. since much of the psychological and emotional is anchored in the body. Working on it is a basic tool to open part of the emotional blocks and not allow them to re-establish themselves.

To carry out all this work, patience, perseverance and courage are needed on the part of the patient. It is not a simple or fast process but the definitive solutions require a complete and elaborate work.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to Affective deficiency: what is it, consequences and how to cure it, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.

• Bielsa, A. Affective deficiency. Center London 94. Equip d'atenció per the development and millennium of the family.
• González, E. Educate in affectivity. Education Faculty. Complutense University of Madrid.