The news of a pregnancy is also conditioned by one's personal circumstances. However, your parents are two of the people who should know the news first. If it is unexpected news, you may not know very well how to share this fact if you are very young and the authority of your parents is still very present in your life. How do you tell your parents that you are pregnant? In Psychology-Online, we share information on how to live this moment with empathy, understanding your own feelings, choosing the best way to deliver the news and, also, understanding the reaction of your parents who, like you, have their own fears.
If you're not sure how to tell your parents they're going to be grandparents, putting it off will only increase anxiety and worry. This is one of those situations that should be addressed as soon as possible.
How will your parents react
This is one of the first thoughts that comes to your mind when you think of that moment when they know the news. Beyond the initial reaction, when your parents may feel baffled if they weren't expecting the news, most parents offer unconditional support to their daughters in this situation.
Each person is different. Therefore, you may be able to predict a more assertive response in your father or mother based on how they have reacted in other previous situations in your family life. This reaction can be conditioned by many aspects: character, values, expectations... However, after this initial reaction, the definitive moment of assimilation and acceptance of the information. For this reason, once you have communicated the news, try to give your parents time.
To encourage empathy with your parents, you can ask them how they feel. Likewise, you can express that you would appreciate having their support.
Ask someone to accompany you
But, also, if you need emotional support at this time to communicate the news, you can ask a family member you trust and also that of your parents, to accompany you at that time. It is very important that you be a person who, in addition to mediating, be discreet to take a backseat when it's convenient. For example, your brother.
Of course, if you have a partner, you can also ask him to accompany you to communicate the news together. However, this may not be the option that makes you feel most comfortable at first because the decision depends on other circumstances. For example, maybe your parents and your partner have known each other for a long time and have a close bond, but it may also happen that this family bond has not occurred.
You can also make the decision to talk first with one of them, with the one who you think will understand you better, and then, with their support, tell the other parent. Together you will find the most opportune moment for conversation.
Prepare for that moment
Put yourself in a situation and think about what you would like to say. You may write some ideas on a sheet of paper that you will later develop. It is not about keeping a script to communicate such personal information, but about trying to think clearly at a time when you can feel overwhelmed.
Imagine that you are talking to your parents right now: what would you like to tell them? What information do you want them to know? What would you like to share with them and what aspects do you prefer to reserve for yourself? Express your words out loud. In this way, through your own auditory memory you internalize that message. Express your words focusing on yourself, that is, do not anticipate how you think they will react.
Keep the conversation going at home
Given the importance of the conversation, you should choose a space of intimacy and family well-being to keep the talk going. The house is the best place because it provides this context of privacy that you all need to talk. Your parents will ask you questions and you will answer whatever you think is appropriate.
When you express something that you need to say, you feel the release of the release. Therefore, although you may be concerned about how your parents will react when you tell them that you are pregnant, this conversation has a therapeutic function for you.
Turn off the mobile phone
Once you have found the right moment to break the pregnancy news to your parents, it is important that you turn off your mobile phone or silence it to avoid any kind of interruption external. Try to focus on that moment.
Perhaps you feel so blocked that you think you are not ready to face the conversation, even with the support of a mediator. How to tell your parents that you are pregnant through a letter:
- Consider writing a letter. Written language allows planning and emotional expression that sometimes doesn't flow as well on the verbal plane when you're afraid of going blank.
- If you decide to write a letter, don't mail it. Simply, use it as a stand the moment you meet your parents to talk. I mean, you can read that message.
- In that case, in this letter, you can not only express the news, but also, what are your fears and insecurities. In addition, you can also dedicate a few words of gratitude to your parents for having always been by your side.
- Is better than the letter be brief. This letter is only a point of support to continue the conversation later through direct interaction. Therefore, try to focus your message on the essential content, but do not hesitate.
- This is your letter and This is your moment. Therefore, express everything that is important for you to externalize. Write what makes you feel better. By connecting with yourself, you will find your own words.
- Check your letter. Store it in a drawer for a day. Then pick up the message again. From a distance perspective, you may want to remove some ideas and add others. It may even happen that the simple act of writing the letter gives you strength to live the moment of the conversation with your parents without having to read the text. By rereading that message several times, you will visualize this situation in your mind and this is a form of emotional preparation to gain self-confidence when verbalizing the news.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
