There are cases of mothers who do not understand why their adult daughter rejects them and wonder what to do to reverse this situation and create a new relationship with her, more friendly and affectionate. To understand this situation, it is necessary to be clear that we must embark on a deep path of personal self-criticism, of recognition and acceptance of the mistakes made in our upbringing. It is not an easy path, but the end result compensates for any suffering that the path may cause us.
In the following Psychology-Online article, we will talk about why my adult daughter rejects me and what to do, providing advice to stop this painful relationship and clarifying how rejection can be overcome in the event that, apparently, there seems to be no solution.
The reasons why your adult daughter rejects you should be sought in the context of the childhood experiences your daughter had and, especially, those in which you were directly involved.
The personality of the human being, his fears, phobias, hobbies and beliefs are forged, mainly, during the first 6 years of life. During this period, children spend most of their time with their families. Thus, the relationship, experiences and experiences that occurred during this stage
If you are worried that your daughter is rejecting you and you would like to reverse the situation, it is important that you mentally ask yourself the following questions:
- In what context did you raise your daughter?
- What attention did you give him?
- How did you treat her in relation to her siblings?
- To what extent was she listened to and accepted?
- How was she accompanied in her moments of crisis?
- How was the birth of your daughter? (caesarean section, with forceps, normal delivery, premature delivery, etc.)
All these factors discussed influence the training and personal development of your daughter, providing her with a certain level of self-esteem, resilience, self-confidence, in others and in life, among many other factors that make up the human personality.
So, to fully understand what your daughter went through that has led her to this situation of rejection, you should keep in mind that It is one thing to objectively analyze the situations that you can remember and quite another to approach it from the way in which she she lived. When in doubt as to why my adult daughter rejects me, ask her directly about the matter. Surely she herself will explain to you what situations and events generated this rejection towards you.
If you want to constructively approach the situation of your own daughter rejecting you, it will be important to consider the causes mentioned above. Underneath all that resentment and rejection towards you, your daughter may be experiencing disappointment and great sadness for not having obtained from you what he needed at a certain moment of his life. lifetime.
From here, we show you different ways to positively address this situation:
- Make a personal self-criticism and acknowledge the extent to which your behavior triggered these ideas of contempt in your daughter's mind, albeit unconsciously.
- Say sorry: It is a very brave behavior that will allow you to relieve her negative emotional burden and calm her soul. In this article you will find more information about what is forgiveness and how to apply it.
- Ask him what he needs right now: To the extent possible, lovingly and humbly offer these priceless gifts.
- Help her understand that she is no longer a child: tell her that you're sorry for everything she lived and went through, but that now she's an adult woman and, if the two of you try with all your strength, you can build a new relationship based on trust and mutual affection from your current maturity.
- Help him reflect on his behavior: it is important that your daughter, once supported and accompanied, understands that she herself contributed to maintain this hostile relationship by acting defiantly against you, making it difficult for you to approach to her. If she manages to be aware of this, she herself will apologize for having treated you badly and rejected you. This attitude will bring you very close and will help create new bonds of cordial union between you.
The tips in the previous section on what to do when your adult daughter rejects you can help you reconcile with her and create a new relationship based on affection and cordial union. However, the task is arduous and complicated, so it could be the case that either you and/or your daughter do not you managed to open your heart and accept with repentance and sincerity all the pain that the one on the other you have spilled
Faced with this situation of rejection and the unpleasant consequences that this experience has for both of us, we encourage you to follow these recommendations on how to overcome a daughter's rejection:
- Commit to being critical of yourself: Internally recognize your share of responsibility in the current situation. Although your daughter is not for the work of healing the relationship, you can do a lot on your part and this action is a fundamental part that will allow you to see your daughter with different eyes and understand how she works dysfunctional
- be understanding with her: She understands that her behavior is due to the personal beliefs that she created regarding her relationship with you. This compassionate attitude will distance you from the victimhood with which you act and will allow you to approach her with a closer, more affable and cordial treatment. Your own change, however little by little, will produce an inner change in your daughter that will bring her closer to you.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
