How to better communicate with my children

One of the main concerns of parents is the lack of communication they have with their teenage children and they feel strange when comparing the good relationship that they had with them when they were children and they told them everything, however now it seems as if something was wrong and this also generates a lot of anguish and sadness in many occasions. This situation is not as alarming as it seems and it is worth mentioning that most of the This happens to adolescents, it seems that it is too difficult for them to speak and they answer with short sentences and cutting.

In this Psychology-Online article: how to communicate better with my children, we are going to give you a series of tips that, without a doubt, will be very useful to achieve this.

Index

1. How can I communicate with my children?
2. Dialogue in the family and active listening
3. Family communication problems

Next, we will show you some tips that can help you to

Put yourself in their place

You should really try and make an effort to put yourself in your children's shoes every time they are saying something to you or every time they have an attitude that bothers you. The fact that you can put yourself in the place of your children will allow you better empathize with them, they will feel more and better understood by you and this will be translated into a relationship of more quality and he will increase their trust in you, so it will be easier for them to open up and tell you what they happens.

Promote spaces to promote communication

One of the worst mistakes you make when trying to talk to your children is trying to do so in situations that are not conducive to you. So it is necessary that you try to create the right circumstances to promote communication and trust between you and your children. A technique for effective communication, for example, is to identify those moments when they feel calmer and are more likely to want to talk with you, promote pleasant family activities to promote bonding and closeness at the same time, take trips together, etc.

The mistake that is made most often and not only when it comes to wanting to communicate with your children but also with all other people, is that we don't listen to them as it should.

That is, it may be that we are only "hearing" what they are saying to us, however we are not really giving the enough attention to the other and we interpret what we want that many times it has nothing to do with what they are saying. How many times have you interrupted your children when they are trying to tell you something? Are you sure that you are actually paying attention to them?

It usually happens that for various types of reasons, either because from the beginning you do not agree with what they are telling us, out of desperation or simply out of habit, the speaker is interrupted and not allowed to finish saying what she wants.

So it is extremely important that every time your child is telling you something, no matter how much information and even if you disagree with what he says, let him finish talking and really listen to him until the final. Imagine that what he is saying is the most important thing to you in those moments no matter what it is, just listen to him very carefully. The role of parents in this case it will be the active listener. Who does not like to be given full attention when he is speaking?

It has also been found in various investigations that in the first years of adolescence, adolescents generally tend to communicate more and better with their friends or adults other than their parents, even if they have a good relationship with they. This is not to say that nothing can be done to remedy the situation and establish a better communication with your children since there are ways so that little by little this can go away expanding.

Aside from knowing what are the things you can do to build confidence and knowing how to communicate better with your child, it is necessary that you also know what the Thing that must not be done and that hinder communication with them. Some of them are the following:

• Avoid falling into questioning and try to make the dialogue more fluid and less forced. When this happens and it appears that the children are being questioned by the police, they are usually closed more and more and they will try to avoid you as they feel attacked and have the feeling that you are violating their Privacy. On the contrary, when communication is more fluid and less forced, it is more likely that they themselves will take the initiative later and want to tell you what has happened to them.
• Avoid sermons and constant claims since this will cause the opposite effect on your children. So you should try, when you want to talk with your children about more serious issues or want to give them some advice, do it in a more gentle and subtle way, that is, that does not sound like a scolding, tell them as something more everyday, even give them a personal example so that they perceive it as something more relaxed and not tax.
• Avoid talking too much or require them to give you more explanations than they want to give you. Remember that the more you demand and insist on them in a bad way, the less they will do what you want, so it is necessary that learn to be silent when necessary and to respect their silences, allowing them to gradually open up alone.

This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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