If you ask yourself over and over again, "why haven't I fallen in love with anyone?" and it even causes you a lot of concern not having been in love at some time in your life, surely, it is because you notice that "everyone" falls in love except you and you feel differently rest. However, you must take into account that just as there are many people to whom it happens, there are also others to whom no, just that those tend to go more unnoticed, probably because they don't make "as much noise" as the ones that are fall in love. On the other hand, love is quite a complex and subjective feeling, not all people experience it in the same way and with the same intensity. Another reason why you are so concerned about never having fallen in love is because you probably would like to establish an intimate relationship with another person and you would not like to live deprived of the pleasure of love.
This is why in this Psychology-Online article: why have I never fallen in love with anyone, we are going to explain in a simple and detailed way the possible reasons why you probably have not fallen in love with anyone until now.
For many people, being in love with someone is the maximum expression of love that can exist in a relationship. They think that the moment you stop being in love with the other person is a sign that you love ended and that, therefore, that relationship must end and nothing could be further from the reality.
The act of falling in love It is a stage that may or may not appear, normally, at the beginning of a relationship. The person who is in love idealizes the person you love, focusing only on his virtues and even attributing others that he really does not have and totally forgetting about his defects. She experiences a series of emotional ups and downs that cause her to be aware of the other person all the time and making her world revolve around her, among others series of things that are caused by the chemical change that occurs in your brain, because when you are in love even our brain chemistry changes, interesting not?. However, you cannot stay in love all the time because it would be extremely exhausting and damaging in the long run.
Unlike infatuation, love is a longer lasting feeling, is built over time and is based on the total acceptance of the other, since not only their virtues are looked at but also their defects and they come to love the person as a whole. So those butterflies in the stomach, those emotional ups and downs, even the desire for him cease to exist. another may decrease, however, the love you have for the other person is a mature love, strong and unconditional. Ideally, falling in love over time turns into this type of love, although you can also get to love someone without having previously been in love.
There are many reasons why a person may never have fallen in love and these vary greatly from person to person because each head is a world, so not everyone can feel identified with those that others have and it is valid. However, we have selected some of the most common that you probably had not taken into account and that can help you analyze and reflect on your particular situation.
Expectations you have about love
The expectations we have about love greatly influence when it comes to experiencing it. That is, if you have very high expectations about love and you have the belief that it has to be forever, that the other person has to be perfect, that your happiness has to depend on him (her), etc. In other words, we want to live a movie love, the one that usually makes us believe the society that is the ideal, we are going to live unsatisfied and we are not going to find ourselves comfortable with any person. This will also prevent us from getting carried away and surrendering to the pleasure of love. On the other hand, very low expectations about love will also influence us to stop experiencing it. For example, if all the time we have been led to believe that all people are going to betray us, that he who falls in love is a fool, that love is not exists, that they are going to harm us, etc., we are going to create a “protective” barrier and we are going to avoid consciously or unconsciously at all costs fall in love.
Philphobia or fear of falling in love
Philosophobia is one of the phobias that although it sounds strange, it is more common than it seems. This type of phobia is characterized by the fact that the person suffering from it feels a intense and irrational fear of establishing relationships intimate and, therefore, to fall in love with another person. East fear to fall in love It can be caused by having previously experienced negative experiences, fear of rejection, fear of commitment, among others. The person may not be aware of what they have and generates defense mechanisms to avoid meeting other people or starting to feel love for someone.
Stop meeting more people
You may interact with the same people all the time and always move in the same social environment. In this way, you stop meeting new people and you miss opportunities to fall in love with someone and that someone also falls in love with you. Expanding your social circle increases your chances of meeting that person, so you should seriously consider doing something to improve this aspect. If you spend all your time studying, working, going out with the same friends and you don't take the time to do another type of new activities, where you can relate to other people, it will be much more difficult to fall in love with someone.
Look in the wrong direction
Another possible reason why you have never fallen in love with someone is that you are looking for that person in the wrong places or to people who are not compatible really with you. For example, you may have the belief that your ideal person would be someone who is very sociable and cheerful and that you focus your attention on meet only those types of people, when you really may be more compatible with another person more serious and introverted.
It may also be that you are looking for a person who wants to have a more serious and stable relationship and you intend to find them in places where there are fewer possibilities to do so as in a nightclub, on a vacation in another country, etc., you may even seek to fall in love with people of different sex from yours and in reality you are interested in more people of yourself sex.
The time just hasn't come
It may be that now you simply have not met the person to fall in love with, but that does not indicate that it cannot happen to you. If you are on the lookout all the time and with the worry that you cannot find that person, in the end you will despair and that will also prevent you from acting naturally. The vast majority of the time love comes when we least expect it and although we do not fall in love with another person, (taking into account the concept of falling in love that explained at the beginning), you can always meet people, foster and build a mature love and deep.
In conclusion and in response to the question: why have I never fallen in love with anyone? It is worth mentioning that there may be many reasons why you have not yet fallen in love, each person is different and the reasons that each person has are valid.
Being aware of the possible causes for which you have not fallen in love will help you find solutions and ways to find people with whom you can experience such a pleasant feeling as love. It is important that you always keep in mind the difference between love and infatuation and stop worrying Because even if you don't fall in love, you can always encourage the purest and deepest love for a person to be born and grow.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
