For Irene Solaz Velázquez. March 5, 2018
In love, not everything is black or white, because it is not just about wanting or not wanting. There are different ways of wanting. Our feelings for that special person can include passion, can motivate us to feel committed to her, and can create a bond that binds us to her. Or maybe our feelings include only some of these characteristics, or none at all.
Our understanding of love changed in 1986 with the publication of the psychologist Robert Sternberg of him in the journal Psychological Review. In the magazine he explained his triangular theory of love, which would completely change our knowledge about one of the most studied feelings. According to the psychologist, there are different types of love relationships that determine our feelings towards our 'better half' and our connection with this special person. In this PsychologyOnline article, we show what they are the seven different types of love according to Sternberg.
The first characteristic that determines our type of love relationship is the
Intimacy is the characteristic responsible for our wanting to give our partner what he wants most this Christmas. It is the characteristic responsible for us to surprise you with your favorite dish, we tell you our secrets and fears and we want to discover what makes you happy.
According to Sternberg, some love relationships are intimate but other couples, on the other hand, do not have this affective bond.
The second characteristic that determines our type of love relationship with our partner is the passion. This intensity is usually present during the beginning of a relationship, but decreases over time. Other couples, on the other hand, never get to feel passion.
The third and last characteristic that will determine what type of love relationship we have with our partner is the commitment. Engaged couples are aware of how much they love each other, and they don't want love to ever end. They make decisions that will affect them in the long run as a couple, and these promises are kept even when the couple is going through bad times. Like the other two characteristics, for Sternberg commitment is not present in all relationships.
According to Sternberg, the relationship we have with our partner can change over time. It can start out with a lot of passion and yet lose this intensity after a few months. The couple may not feel committed during the beginning of the relationship, but the decisions that make them long-term effects could be taken later, when they get to know each other better and when they have more privacy.
For the psychologist, relationships can have a combination of these three characteristics (or they could have all three). However, it is not very likely that the love of a couple who has only one of the three characteristics will be forever. By playing with the different combinations of characteristics we discover what the seven types of love are.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
