When we start flirting with a person, on many occasions, illusions are awakened, we put certain expectations in that person but doubts may also haunt us: does the other person think the same as me? Are we at the same point? What if you want just one roll? In Psychology-Online we want to give you 15 signals that can help you know if that special someone wants something serious.
Index
- How to know if it is a roll or something else
- What attitudes does a person have who wants something serious
- How to ask if you want something serious
How to know if it is a roll or something else.
Below we can see certain differences between the attitude of a person who wants a roll and one who wants something serious:
The communication
In the case that the person wants something serious, communication is quite habitual and fluid. On the other hand, when the person only wants a roll, what they usually do is talk to you only when they want to meet you, without showing prior interest. In this article you will find
The dates
When a person wants something serious, usually the appointments are usually varied, one day you make a plan, another you change and go to another place, etc. When a person only wants a roll it usually happens that the plans tend to be very monotonous.
The level of intimacy
In the event that the person only wants one roll, the level of intimacy will be basically sexual. The person who wants something serious with you will seek, apart from sexual intimacy, other forms of get to know you in a deeper way, asking you aspects of your life, facts that have marked you, etc.
Listen to her
If the person is interested in you, he will listen carefully to what you tell him and also will keep certain details to ask you later.
The priorities
In a person's life there are different priorities: family, friends, work, etc. When you appear, you have become another of his priorities, that does not mean that he always makes plans with you, but he looks for time or offers alternatives to stay. Tea show that you are important in her life. The person who only wants a roll, will prioritize you only when it interests him.
Third persons
The person who just wants a roll, probably at some point will talk to you or will miss talking about someone else in her life.
Transparency
It can happen that the person who only wants a roll does not want to meet you in public spaces. The reason? Not wanting other people to see you and interpret what it is not.
The sensations
People who want something more usually arouse a certain confidence in the other person. If you just want a roll, the feeling when you meet that person will not be as pleasant. In this article we explain what does it feel like to be in love for real.
What attitudes does a person have who wants something serious.
The person who wants something serious with you, probably shows one of the following characteristics:
Constancy
A person who is looking for a serious relationship is constantly talking to you. Look for conversation topics, don't let it fade.
Interest
When you want something serious with a person, you show interest in them. You worry about knowing their concerns, their hobbies, their fears, etc. Also, in turn, you take care that the other person also knows you. Here you will find 60 questions to meet someone you like.
The details
The person who really wants something serious with you, takes care of the details. It informs you when it will have to be absent, says goodbye to you and greets you every day, takes your opinion into account when making plans and even remembers what food you like to go to lunch or dinner.
Evolution of plans
These are more and more elaborate, in accordance with the evolution of the relationship. You have gone from going for a drink, to the next dinner date to, finally, after a while, going to spend a weekend together.
Future plans
Talking about the future with you doesn't have to mean long term. In the immediate future, she has you in mind. It proposes you to meet her friends, it includes you in some plans such as vacation periods. A person who does not want anything serious will never talk to you about a not too distant future, he will live today and will not want to talk about tomorrow.
Depth
Highlight your qualities that go beyond physical appearance. He affirms that he likes the way you are, your smile, the look, etc.
Confidence
He opens up to you and tells you things about his personal life, his concerns and desires, plans he has... In short, it makes you a participant in her life.
How to ask if you want something serious.
Asking someone what they want with us is perhaps the part that costs us the most. Below we propose a question format that can give us the answer we are looking for:
Ask about previous relationships
This question is often very revealing. Sometimes, just by asking that, the person directly answers things like: "after my ex partner, I no longer want anything serious. At that moment you can already get an idea that he only wants one roll, despite this, it does not hurt to ask some more questions to be sure.
At what point are we?
This question is better to ask when you have been dating for a while. It can be good to define if the two of you are at the same point, ask where this leads and at what point do you see each other.
What do you want with me?
This question is perhaps the most direct of all, yet it is still very informative. You might get answers like: I want to meet you but I don't want to go so fast. These types of answers are logical, even so, it can be specified by expressing that you are looking for you; I also want to meet someone, and I understand that we cannot understand each other and that therefore, we stop knowing each other... but now I don't just want a roll.
Why did you download ???
In case you met the person on a dating app, you can also ask why they downloaded the app. Depending on the reason for which the App was downloaded, it can give you many clues as to what intentions it may have with you.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to know if you want something serious, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
Bibliography
- Rodríguez Salazar, Tania, & Rodríguez Morales, Zeyda. (2016). Love and new technologies: Communication and conflict experiences. Communication and society, (25), 15-41.
