Why am I still jealous of my ex when we are no longer together? This is a frequently asked question among those who have had to deal with a recent breakup. couple and that for some reason they have not yet assumed the situation and have not accepted that this relationship has finished. Feeling jealous is something common in relationships, but this emotion can also arise or be accentuated when the romantic relationship has ended due to the idea that the other could rebuild her life very soon with another person, or simply because of the fact that she could be happy without U.S. In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to answer the question of why I'm jealous of my ex. Pay attention!
If you continue to feel jealousy for your ex and wonder what this emotion may be due to, in the following lines you can discover what may be the possible causes:
You haven't gotten over the break
Love breakups are unpleasant and painful, especially when the relationship has ended by decision of the other party. If you still feel the same about your ex, you feel the need to talk to her, see her, or find out what she will be doing at each At the moment, it is possible that jealousy arises in you at the thought that you can be with another person and rebuild your love life or be happy without being with you.
Toget over a breakupIt is very important to learn to accept the situation and respect the decision of the other. We have to be able to accept what has happened, let time pass and think positively, because although at the beginning we see everything black, with the passage of time everything returns to its original state. channel and you even come to realize that if the relationship ended, it was for something and that it was the best for you, since you deserve to be with someone who really wants to share his life with you. You must focus exclusively on yourself to be able to forget your ex, keep busy and do many things with family and friends in your free time. This is just one more chapter of your life, think that with the passage of time, it will stop hurting you and that it will simply be one more memory.
Possessive factor
Jealousy can also be closely linked to possessiveness. The very possessive people who feel that their partner is their property tend not to accept the breakup and cannot bear to think that it was their couple so far may fall in love with another person or embark on a new path in which he / she is not included. In addition to jealousy, possessive people often have a very controlling attitude faced with the urgent need they feel to know what the other is doing at all times, who he is with, where he is going, etc.
It is essential to be clear that all people are individual and free beings and that we do not belong to anyone. That a person has an affective bond with us does not mean that she is "ours" and, in no case, should we try to have control of the life of another person.
Insecurity and low self-esteem
Insecurity in yourself and low self-esteem can also be behind that jealousy that you feel towards your ex-partner. On many occasions, we have thoughts that we are not worth enough or that we do not measure up to other people, and that in the same way that we do not we have been able to keep the love of the other for a long time, we will not be able to meet other new people or get others to notice U.S. This can lead us to get stuck in the past.
All of this suggests a great lack of self-confidence and a very low self-esteem, because these types of people tend to have a low regard for themselves and exaggerate their defects without taking into account their virtues at any time. In the following Psychology-Online article, we show some tips to know how to increase self love.
Fear of being alone
The fact that you continue to feel jealousy towards the ex-partner can also be related to the fear of being alone. By losing her, we realize that we are not replaceable people and we may think that by not being with her, we will be alone and that we will not find someone with whom we will have that trust, love, complicity, etc. This can generate feelings of despair, sadness and insecurity, devoting ourselves to jealousy by thinking that he / she can soon find another person with whom to share her life.
Next, we are going to give you some tips so you can stop feeling jealous for your ex-partner and you can focus exclusively on yourself and rebuild your life without thinking about that person:
- If your partner has decided to end the relationship with you, it is important that accept the situation and that you put all your effort into moving forward even if it costs you at first. Do not beat yourself up with the idea of a possible reconciliation, look to the future and focus on being well and being happy.
- Avoid closing in on yourself and punishing yourself with negative thoughts about yourself or your love life. Now is the time to open up to the people around you, distract yourself and make new plans to have fun and meet people.
- Do not spend time thinking about why you are still jealous of your ex, since if you focus on negative emotions, it will be more difficult to get rid of these types of feelings and you can feel even worse making it much more difficult to continue go ahead.
- Do not compare yourself with others, focus on your positive points and think about how valuable you are. If you need to build self-confidence or increase your self-esteem, you can read self-help books or seek professional help by going to a psychologist.
- Forget the past, look around you and focus on everything that makes you happy: your job, your home, your family, your friends, etc.
- To forget your ex and leave that past relationship behind, it is very important that avoid all kinds of contact with her. To overcome a breakup, marking distance in every way is essential.
Jealousy can turn into unhealthy or pathological When they manifest uncontrollably, they have no objective basis, they nullify us as a person, interfere in our daily lives and harm our psychological well-being.
In these cases, it is important to take into account that jealousy problems can be overcome and that, for this, it is necessary to seek professional help Going to a psychologist to try to find out what the causes of the problem are and what guidelines we must follow to solve it.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
