A love breakup is one of the most difficult and painful situations that we can go through in life, Obviously depending on the situation, the years of relationship, the affection they had, the expectations, etc. Generally, the person who has the worst time is the one who has been abandoned and refuses to accept the situation despite knowing that the relationship was no longer working and that they had always had many problems.
So if you're wondering: why can't I forget about my ex? It is very likely that you find yourself resisting this new reality and that you have the feeling that you will never be able to overcome that person. This is why in this Psychology-Online article: why can't i forget my ex, we are going to explain in detail the main reasons why it is difficult for you to forget him, as well as we will give you some tips to help you achieve it.
You should know that it is possible stop thinking and forget your exKnowing what are the main reasons why you have not been able to do it will also help you in the process of improvement. Next I am going to explain to you what are the main reasons why it is very difficult for you to forget your ex and you continue to suffer right now because of that.
- Expectations and future plans: You probably have high expectations about your relationship and you expected it to last many more years or for a lifetime. It may be that you saw yourself always being next to that person and that you could not imagine life without them. Perhaps they already had a series of long term goals or plans such as having children, buying a house, opening a business, etc. Everything made you forget your personal goals individually and that you have remained a long time focused only on the goals you had in common, so right now you feel lost and confused because you are forced to modify your plan of lifetime.
- Idealization: maybe you are idealizing your ex too much, that is, you are focusing only on his virtues (exaggerating them) and you forgot about her flaws and the things you didn't like or didn't think of him (her). So right now you feel like you've lost the best person in the world and that makes you feel guilty and bad about yourself. Here we teach you to stop idealizing someone.
- Boredom: Although it may seem incredible and is something that probably very few people think about, it is that you obsession with your ex It may be due to the need to have something to think about. So when there are no other priorities and new activities are not carried out to get out of the routine, it is more likely that thinking all the time about the former partner even becomes a habit, which can be extremely damaging psychologically and emotionally.
- Ego: It may be that you continue to cling to your ex because it is difficult for you to accept too much that he has left you. The fact that that person did that to you has hurt you too much. ego And you can't take it Due to the ego, people perceive others as if they belonged to them and evidently it is difficult for them to let them go when it is time to do so.
- Scared to beonly to: This tends to occur more frequently in people who are highly dependent on their partner and who fear loneliness. So now that they have no alternative but to be without their partner, they feel extremely unplaced and unprotected.
Do you feel identified with some of the previous reasons why you cannot forget your ex? Would you like to be able to overcome him / her? Here are some tips on how to forget your ex that will help you get out of this situation as soon as possible.
- Renew your personal goals and objectives. It's time for you to start updating those goals and objectives that you had before meeting your partner. individually, that you bring them to the present and evaluate with which of them you want to continue working. You can also renew yourself and propose yourself new goals and emotional goals that you want to achieve in the long term, but this time without leaving them aside and giving them the importance they deserve. In case you decide to have a partner again later, it is important that you do not forget about them again, even if you propose others as a couple.
- Think about the negatives in your relationship. Stop idealizing your ex and continuing to think only about how positive your relationship had since that makes you feel even guilty that it has ended. Now focus on remembering all the negative things that the relationship had, for example, how badly they got along, how they never hit it off, the times when your ex partner disrespected you, etc.
- Acceptance. Stop resisting this new reality and accept it as it is, even if you don't like it. Acceptance is not synonymous with resignation, on the contrary, accepting a situation that we cannot change and stop resisting it, helps us to overcome it and to be able to see new options and experiences that the lifetime.
There are several factors that even having a partner, can make you think about your ex. Let's see what they are:
- The relationship was long: If you spent many years with a person, it is normal that you think about him or her. Even if you have another partner, your past is always there and it can be difficult to forget if you have had a relationship for many years.
- Curiosity: maybe it crosses your mind to question how your life would have been if you continued with your ex, even though you are now in love with your current boyfriend / girlfriend.
- The first love: if this person was your first boyfriend / a, it is normal to remember it even if you are now in a new relationship.
- Recent breakup: If you left the relationship recently, thinking that person is very normal. Even if you've found someone else, you need time to forget about your ex and close the loop.
Therefore, if you find yourself in any of the situations described above, it is completely normal that, sometimes, you think about your ex even if you have a partner.
How to forget your ex? Do you feel identified with some of the previous reasons why you cannot forget your ex? Would you like to be able to overcome him / her? Next I am going to give you some tips that, if you put them into practice, will undoubtedly help you get out of this situation as soon as possible.
- Change your routine: Surely right now you will have an empty space in your daily routine that is the time you dedicated to the relationship. So if you haven't made any modifications to your routine yet and you haven't covered that time, it's time you started doing it.
- Surround yourself with the people who love you: the people closest to you, such as your family and friends, will undoubtedly be willing to give you that emotional support that you need so much. So do not isolate yourself or stay alone, seek his company and understanding.
- Meet new people: do not withdraw into yourself and dare to go out and meet new people. Do not do this solely for the purpose of quickly finding a new partner, but simply to open yourself up to more experiences, making new friends and also increase your social circle.
- Write how you feel: It is very important that you express how you feel when you need it. One way to do it is to write it down. It can be in a newspaper, in a letter, an email, etc. That will help you get rid of the feelings.
- Retake or start new habits: do new activities that have nothing to do with your ex. Take advantage of that time to do new activities, be with the people you care about like your family and friends, dedicate it to working on your personal goals, etc. That will keep your mind busy and your thoughts away from him or her.
- take care of yourself: spend time on yourself. The most important person in your life is you. Try breathing exercises, give yourself a massage or go to that place you wanted to see so much. There is nothing better than occupying your time doing things that you like.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
