When a breakup occurs, most often a lot of emotions kick in, some pleasant, such as release or a feeling of hope and others uncomfortable such as fear, guilt, a feeling of failure or sadness.
It is very common for you to ask yourself: how do I know if I miss my ex, why do I miss my ex if I left him or, even, why I miss my ex so much after years. Nobody likes to feel these emotions that we label as negative but they are necessary to emerge stronger from the breakup. If you miss your ex partner, keep reading this Psychology-Online article that will help you face it and know what to do if you miss your ex.
Index
- Why i miss my ex
- I miss my ex girlfriend or boyfriend and I left him
- How to stop missing your ex
- How long do you miss your ex?
- How to get your ex back
Why do I miss my ex.
When we go through a breakup we started a grieving process in which we will foreseeably go through different stages.
At first we can fall into a state of shock and stay frozen and numb. In later stages we will feel a deeper pain, during which we can think that without the other we are nothing.
When a bond is so strong and deep and we lose it, we go through a phase where we feel a strong need for the other. However, feeling that pain is necessary to be able to subsequently disassociate ourselves from that person. Coping with the frustration that things are not as we would like is a tough process. There are times when we need to look for reasons, find guilty, or blame ourselves.
I miss my ex girlfriend or boyfriend and I dumped him.
Analyze and learn from what happened to continue growing, but do not judge or blame because it will only make the suffering grow. I advise you to take out the rage, product of the frustration of life expectations, of common projects, of your broken heart. Expressing our emotions can help us, although this does not change the situation. Let the duel run its course.
The pain has to be lived, do not stop the spontaneity of your feelings, do not try to cover the pain. Although it may not seem like it, suffering, crying, reflecting... will help us cope with loss. It is vital to work on emotions and not run away from them. In this way we will reach the point of adaptation to reality where your ex-partner no longer has a place but where little by little we will find other new things that will surely make us feel better.
How to stop missing your ex.
What to do when you miss your ex and don't want to come back? Now that you know the process of mourning a breakup, you should take note of these tips if you want to stop missing your ex:
- Accept that it is over the relationship. The process of separating and recovering takes time. Don't put pressure on yourself. In this article we explain how to leave your partner without hurting him.
- Cut the contact. The feeling of wanting to get back with your ex is natural. Our mind has become accustomed to the presence of it and we associate everything with it. However, don't be tempted to seek out the contact.
- Life goes on. Therefore, continue with your goals and illusions. Focus on yourself and develop your personal growth, get to know yourself better, discover what your motivations are.
- Create new memories. You do not have to stop going to the places that you went with your partner, it is about creating new memories in the company of friends or family.
- Open yourself to new experiences. Even if you've had a bad experience with your ex, don't be afraid and open yourself up to new experiences. Nobody wants to suffer but if we do not accept that at some point in our lives we can suffer and you close yourself to avoid having your heart broken, you will be giving up love.
- Write how you feel, or discuss it with someone you trust. It's a great way to let go of what's inside you, without getting in touch with your ex.
- Get rid of the things that remind you of him / her. Put your things away, you don't have to throw them away. You may want to retrieve them later, when you are over it.
- Do not isolate yourself. The greatest source of emotional support is our friends and family. It is also good to expand your social circle, meet new people who bring you new sensations.
- Do you play any sport, go on a trip or just give life to your hobbies. You will get your mind busier and fill those gaps that your ex-partner has left.
- Live the present. Do things that you like and fill you up and for a while do not think about future projects. Find out here how to forget the past and live in the present.
How long do you miss your ex?
The time it takes to stop feeling the pain of loss depends on many factors: our personality, life experiences, the emotional support we receive from family and friends, our age... and of course, the type of break we have experienced.
It also depends on the relationship you have with that person. If you keep sending messages or receiving news through social networks, it is very difficult for you to turn the relationship page.
It's normal to miss your ex for a few months, but if you still miss your ex after years intensely, it is time to review what are the things that do not allow you to end the duel and continue with your life.
If you see that time passes and the fact that you do not stop thinking about your ex-partner prevents you from leading a relatively normal life, or affects your relationships with other people, We recommend that you contact a professional.
How to get your ex back.
What to do when you miss your ex and want to get back with him or her? If you want to resume the relationship with your ex partner, you must make sure that it is not just that you feel lonely or alone, if not you are clear that you want to share your life with that person because you complement each other and you contribute.
In case of your your reason is only the fear to lonelinessWe recommend that you work on your self-esteem, your beliefs and your autonomy. While if what you want is to regain contact and see if the relationship can continue, we recommend you read the following article about how to get back with your ex.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to I miss my ex: what do I do?, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
Bibliography
- Congost, S. (2013). When to love too much is to depend. Oniro.
- Garcia, F. E., & Ilabaca Martínez, D. (2013). Breakup of a couple, coping and psychological well-being in young adults. Ajayu Organ of Scientific Dissemination of the Department of Psychology UCBSP, 11(2), 42-60.
- Garriga, J. (2013). Good love in the couple.
