When we get angry with our partners, it is normal for a little pride to appear. But we have to know how to deal with it because, to settle in absolute reason, the only thing it will do is get away from understanding and communication with the other person. In a relationship we have to try to put pride in the background to ensure that respect flows between us. However, it is not always easy to control that feeling and, many times, we can experience a real internal struggle when trying to try to calm this emotion. In Psychology-Online we are going to discover how to leave pride in a relationship giving you some good tips that can help you relax your nerves.
Pride is a feeling that usually appears in the moments in which we feel "attacked" or that we feel we have to defend ourselves. Therefore, it is something very common that can appear because of an argument in the couple since, at first, it is normal for us to believe that we are right. But we cannot stay in that position, we have to ppractice empathy
Therefore, it is quite normal and natural that, at first, the feeling of pride appears. However, we are rational beings and, therefore, we must learn to control this emotion and understand that we do not have universal reason. In a discussion you are both right and you are both partly to blame, therefore, it is essential that you get off that position of "superiority" to which you have risen and touch with your feet on the ground.
But what are the causes of pride? The truth is that the origin of this feeling is totally psychological and emotional. Proud people tend to be stubborn and stubborn people who they find it hard to open their minds to understand that not everything revolves around them. They position themselves as if they were absolutely right and they do not step back to understand that, in this life, not everything is black or white but that everything moves between gray.
Some causes of pride They are:
- Stubbornness: as we have said, they are people who are left with an idea in which they head and who find it difficult to get out of there
- Unsafety: They tend to be somewhat insecure people (although they appear otherwise) and they use pride as a weapon to defend themselves
- Imbalance in relationship: It may also be that there is pride in a relationship because the couple lives a situation of imbalance. That is, if it is always the boy who screwed up or if situations have been experienced because of one of the members, the most normal thing is that the person who was normally right considers that he will always follow her having. It is an emotional superiority-inferiority relationship that can become very toxic. A couple must be a relationship between equals, otherwise it will never end well
- Superiority complex: It can also be the case that a person is very proud in a relationship because in most of her life she feels superior to the rest. Then, from that "elevated" position, it values and acts according to its sole criteria.
In the event that it is your partner who adopts this proud attitude, we recommend you read this other article in which we tell you how to treat a proud person.
Once we know the causes, it is important know how to leave pride in a relationship. It is essential to try to reduce the intensity of this emotion if we want to enjoy an equal partner and live a balanced and healthy relationship. Pride will only lead to always being someone who ends up lowering themselves and, therefore, will create a very dangerous and unfair inequality.
Therefore, in order to leave pride in a relationship, we recommend that you heed these tips that we indicate below.
The importance of communication to avoid pride
One of the main problems causing pride is that the proud person does not empathize with his partner. That is to say, he considers that he has the absolute truth and, therefore, he does not even ask himself what can happen to the other person and why he has reacted in this way. This can lead to a heated argument because the other member may feel neglected.
Therefore, to be able to leave pride it is essential that communication between the couple is encouraged. That is to say, it is clear that you have your reasons and that, of course, you understand them perfectly. But the other also has something to say and, therefore, you must listen to him. So, when you are a little more relaxed, the two of you sit down and have an active and decisive conversation. In this other article we will discover how learn to argue as a couple with tips and advice that can help you control your temper.
Resolve the conflict
As we have already indicated, one of the reasons why a person can position himself at the "top" of reason is because that situation has already occurred on several occasions and has never been resolved. It is important that we see couple discussions as an opportunity to improve our relationship and move forward. You are getting to know each other much more deeply and there may be moments of disagreement. Nothing happens. The world is not ending.
But what you should avoid is always arguing about the same thing. The discussions must have a clear objective: solve the problem. Therefore, there must be a commitment on the part of both that advocates in order to enjoy a much more prosperous and positive coexistence for both.
Relaxation is basic to leave pride
If you want to leave pride in a relationship, it is important that you do not act hot. As we have said, in the face of any dispute it is natural for us to have an impulse of defense and pride. However, we must not get carried away by these emotions rather we have to act rationally and clearly.
In this sense, it is normal that at first it is difficult for you to keep a cool mind. Therefore, you can ask your partner for 5 minutes, take a walk and clear your mind. With a more relaxed and calm attitude, you will be able to face the situation and leave the pride parked.
Empathize, the key to stop being proud
And, of course, the most common cause of pride is that we do not put ourselves in the position of our partner. We are left only with our truth and we do not understand that, the other part, also lives and feels things differently. It is important put aside our ego to try to understand how the other person has felt in this discussion.
Therefore, we recommend that instead of focusing your attention on the fact that you are universally right, sit down and ask your partner about their reasons. It will also have its reasons That they have made him act like this, therefore, listen to him and try to put yourself in her shoes. This step is essential so that your relationship as a couple is much more positive and beneficial for both of you.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
