The relationship that one has with the couple is extremely important in the life of every person who has one since it is with the couple who normally is lives most of the time, especially if you live with her and the relationship is not only a couple but also a friend, confidant and lover. So if you're doubting right now if your relationship works well or notSurely you have been feeling uncomfortable in it and you are not having a good time.
But really, how can you tell if your relationship is working? In this Psychology-Online article, we are going to give you some advice if the following question is in your head: "My relationship is no longer working, what do I do?"
Before going on to give you some indicators that can help you know if your relationship is really working or not, you need to take into account a series of issues that you may probably be going through tall. Next, we give you the main explanations to know when a relationship does not work.
Problems and disagreements are part of the relationship
In a couple relationship it may be that especially at the beginning everything is "rosy", the two get along wonderfully well and there is no type of problem or misunderstanding between them. However, as time goes by, the person as a whole becomes better known and the relationship begins to deepen, it is perfectly normal for some conflicts to arise.
The weird thing would be that they never have disagreements or some kind of problem since you cannot think exactly like the other person. The important thing is not to avoid problems but to learn together to solve them in order to do better each time. If you argue a lot with your partner for nonsenseIt is important that you try to talk and resolve the conflict.
The level of infatuation has decreased
After having passed the infatuation stage in a relationship where the famous butterflies appear in the stomach, the other person is perceived with the coolest in the world, the sexual desire experienced by the other is unbridled, among others symptoms of infatuation.
After a while, it goes to the stage of purest and sincere love. That is, now the person is perceived as he is with his defects and virtues, he feels calm and not so much excitement when seeing the person, the sexual desire decreases so it is no longer exaggerated as before, etc. However, you still have the desire to be with that person since you accept him as he is and love becomes something more conscious and not so emotional. So there is a possibility that right now you are going through this new stage and this generates confusion.
Monotony
It often happens on many occasions that couples fall into a rather monotonous cycle and surprise and novelty have ceased to exist in the relationship. This does not always mean that the love is over or that the relationship has stopped working. rather, they simply need to undergo some routine changes that can put a spin on the relationship and get out of the comfort zone like this.
Next, I will mention which are the main ones signs that you can take into account to really know if your relationship is working or not. Keep in mind that each situation is different and these indicators are only so that you can give yourself a greater idea about it but they cannot determine with complete fidelity that your relationship is not really running.
- Lack of interest. You have been noticing for a long time that the interest you have towards your partner or the one your partner has towards you is less, to the degree that right now you feel that you are or are totally or almost totally indifferent in all senses. That is, for example, you may not care if your partner feels good or bad, you do not want to spend time with her or her with you and on the contrary you avoid it or it avoids you, it has become the last on your list of priorities or you hers, etc. In other words, you feel that one or both of you do not care if you continue the relationship or not. If you want more advice, we recommend this article to know what to do if your partner is distant.
- Problems and differences without solution. When you notice that right now you have reached the point that you really do not care or your partner does not care as before trying to solve their problems. You feel that the differences that exist between you have overwhelmed you and you are not interested in seeking the welfare of the other person.
- Toxicity. When in the couple there is a high level of toxicity for a long time that has not been able to be solved. By toxicity I mean that, for example, one or both of them are trying all the time to exert control over the other, which has never existed trust in your partner, continually experience a lack of personal freedom and find yourself increasingly emotionally drained in the company of the other person.
- Feeling of limiting yourself. Another important indicator to know if your relationship is not working is that you feel limited either because your partner is preventing you or trying to prevent all the time that you do the things you really want (or on the contrary that you do it to her), that you have the feeling that you cannot make your own decisions because your partner always interferes with them or vice versa and in short, that one or both of you are experiencing the constant feeling of overwhelm and lack of understanding on the part of the other.
- Avoid their company. You, your partner or both may constantly avoid their company and prefer to share their time with other people. They even have the feeling that in order for them to always have a good time together they need a third party so as not to get bored.
- Totally different ideas and expectations. The fact of having vital plans and objectives in common with the couple is a fundamental pillar that must exist in all good relationship since it is an indicator that both are heading towards the same path and feel comfortable with it. However, when this does not happen, there is a significant imbalance in the couple. An example of this may be that your partner wants to have children and you don't, or vice versa.
When a relationship is not going well, it is normal for us to feel worried and strive to make it as satisfactory as possible.
If you still have doubts about how to deal with this situation, it is recommended that you go to a couples therapist so that they can recommend exercises and couples therapy techniques appropriate to your personal case.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
