In a couple relationship it is normal and healthy for conflicts to arise as a result of the diversity of opinions and positions. Sometimes, due to a matter of pride or the desire for the other person to take the first step, that reunion is postponed longer than desired by both.
When you reconcile with your partner in a constructive relationship, the relationship regains its balance and harmony. How to reconcile with my partner? In Psychology-Online, we give you ideas so that the conflict is useful to improve the relationship, learning to correctly manage the resolution.
Next we will see the main 5 steps to solve a relationship problem:
1. Focus on the relationship, not the conflict
After a disagreement, you can focus mainly on the reason for the distance, giving special weight to the desire to be right, or on the contrary, you can prioritize caring for the relationship itself.
This is something that anyone does in her life in general, both in terms of love or friendship. when, for example, he appreciates his social relationships despite the defects he observes in others or in himself same.
2. Apologize
Maybe you don't know what to say exactly or you start to digress about how you can handle this conversation. However, you can bet on the simplicity of apologize sincerely. Look into the other person's eyes and express this message That not only nurtures the relationship, but also your own state of mind.
If it is your partner who takes the initiative to apologize, you can also answer you assertively.
3. Organize a plan for two
Throughout the calendar, there are many different reasons for celebration, however, the couple themselves can take the iniciative to program motives of shared illusion. When a reunion occurs, it is a good time to consciously live that moment through planning an activity for two. It is important to share quality time and enjoy activities together or together.
4. Take care of the privacy of the relationship
Arguments and reconciliations are part of the script for all couples. But it is very important to value the intimacy of one's relationship and share aspects of this type only with close friends who respect this privacy. Sometimes talking to someone outside the conflict can help you on a mental level.
5. Use kind words
To bring positions closer, it is necessary for both people to change position and go part of the way. This is achieved through assertiveness: listening to the other person and respectfully expressing how you feel. Reinforce the use of kind words that fuel closeness. And repeat your partner's name more often in conversation.
Reconciliation is an act that is only sincere and true when, within the protagonists, that matter has been closed. How to reconcile honestly and sincerely?
- Resolve the reason for the discussion. It is positive that the matter that motivated the discussion has been clarified and resolved. For this, it is advisable to always take the conversation towards the description of the facts and not enter the plane of personal evaluations. It is important that both parties agree.
- Assume responsibilities. When an argument occurs, both members have collaborated in some way to make that moment happen. Each one can also do self-criticism internally.
- Extract a learning. Each new experience is a new opportunity for learning about the development of new resources and tools with which to face couple conversations, valuing assertive communication.
We start this article with a question: How to reconcile with my partner? You can write a decalogue of proposals in collaboration with your partner on creative ideas for reconciliation.
If you are still wondering "how to reconcile with my girlfriend or boyfriend", pay attention to this other advice. The couple therapy can be a great tool for improve communication and the dynamics of the couple, but it must always be mutual agreement so that the two people do their part, feel comfortable and move forward together.
Thus, in addition to the above advice, we recommend that you think about proposing to go together to couples therapy online or face-to-face, since someone professional will help you to guide you and improve your communication. In this type of therapy you can perform dynamics, exercises, games and other activities focused on improving or restoring the bond between two people so that they can continue living together so that both feel happy and can communicate with success.
Behaviors to avoid in conflict are:
1. Bring the past to the present
It is of little use that when you are having a couple conversation in an argument, you name again couple discussions previous around issues that are part of yesterday. When you open the door of the past you feel overwhelmed.
2. Pick a bad time
When you've had a bad day and you feel exhausted Because of work, you are not so predisposed to keep that conversation pending since you are more impatient. Choose a quiet time in which you can concentrate on that moment without interrupting the mobile.
3. Always take the initiative
In a relationship there must be a balance. When it is always the same person who takes the initiative to reconcile a couple, there comes a time when is exhausted from taking the step because he feels that he assumes the main weight of what happened.
4. Argue a lot
When constant discussions and reconciliations take place in a relationship, the protagonists They can also become aware that they are immersed in the dynamics of a relationship that produces a wear. If you find yourself in this situation, we recommend that you read the following article: I argue a lot with my partner for nonsense: what do I do?
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
