The lack of patience can be closely linked to the constant imperative of the adult role marked by messages of haste in a society conditioned by productivity and the search for immediacy. However, patience is that attitude that allows you to define your own time in love to think, reflect, feel and observe.
There is no magic recipe for training patience, however, if you really want to exercise it, this learning is up to you. How to learn patience in a relationship? In Psychology-Online, we give you the keys to achieve it.
However, even patience itself has a limit. Otherwise, a person runs the risk of nurturing a bond of dependency in which she puts herself on the back burner to the desire to please the partner. The limit of patience is found in your own common sense and in your inner well-being. When waiting for a change that never occurs affects your self-esteem or your level of happiness, then think about it.
When patience becomes a philosophy of the relationship in which you are the one who waits eternally for your partner but you do not receive this same attention from their part, then, there is an internal imbalance in this link.
Define what they are your limits around the principles of a happy relationship. And remember that love is not always enough, that is, loving someone is not the guarantee that that relationship is hopeful. When by being with a person you feel that you must stop being you, then listen to those feelings. Patience by itself is not a magic ingredient. The true effects of patience are those that are accompanied by other skills aimed at achieving certain goals as a couple.
When you feel that all your vital efforts are aimed at feeding your ability to be patient in the face of a situation that overwhelms you, make a change of approach. Especially if it is a situation that can be changed by the will of both.
To learn patience in a relationship, you must be clear that it should not be confused with a passive role in which the person seems to resign himself to a certain situation. When you are patient, you are the protagonist of your life because this attitude offers you a sense of calm from which you can think and reflect more clearly than when impatience clouds your reason.
What to do from now on in those situations that pose a test for your patience?
- Plan a new response. Visualize that reaction in your mind because this anticipation increases your chances of creating that reality.
- Mark yourself specific objectives. In relation to that situation that is an important test for you, specify a challenge that you want to pose. For example, if your impatience arises as a result of your partner's lack of punctuality in appointments, devise a strategy to better cope with those moments of waiting.
- Express your ideas and requests clearly and in a kind tone. The risk of complaining is getting carried away by reproaches and criticism that only fuel the distancing. Undoubtedly, the effect of the words "please" and "thank you" is more constructive in active listening. In these cases it is very important to pay special attention to the psychology of communication in pairs.
By way of a cinema forum, the film "Sin Rodeos" starring Maribel Verdú is an excellent pedagogical example of patience and impatience in love. The actress plays a woman who is so used to constantly putting herself in the shoes of others that she has already forgotten what it means to be herself. If you want to reflect on this topic, this plot is an interesting reference.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
