If you find yourself in a situation where despite being married and having a stable relationship with your wife, (as all couples have their high and you get off her) however you feel a deep love and respect for her, maybe they have children and many plans that excite you ahead of her, among other things. In short, you feel weird because even though everything is going well or at least apparently it is, you you have noticed another woman and now you do not stop thinking about her, this cannot be as strange as you imagine.
This is why in this Psychology-Online article, we will try to help you in the situation of "I am married but I think of another woman: what do I do? " Therefore, we are going to introduce you to a series of causes that will undoubtedly help you better understand why you this is happening and finally we will give you a series of tips so that you can get out of this situation.
There are several reasons why this may be happening to you, the important thing is that you know them and that you finally start doing something to improve this situation that is probably destabilizing you Quite. Here are the most common causes for which this situation may be happening to you, So pay attention to each one of them so that you can determine which one you most identify with.
- Problems with your partner. It may be that for some time now, the problems you had with your partner have increased or that they never had and suddenly they have appeared and they do not know how to react to them. So you know that every time you get home the arguments will start and you are extremely stressed. This can cause you to consciously or unconsciously look at other people since the Doing so makes you focus your mind on something else and forget a bit about the problems you have with your woman. Let's say you may be using it as a defense mechanism and it may also be that you have the feeling that the problems with your wife are not going to end so "you have to go looking for other alternatives".
- Monotony. Perhaps you and your partner have reached a point in your relationship where you are stuck, do the same thing all the time and don't dare to get out of the routine and innovate. This, despite the fact that the relationship is good and that the love they feel for each other is good, it can bore both of them and they need a different way to distract themselves or rather something new, such as in this case the fact that you are looking at another woman, in a certain way takes you out or tries to get you out of the monotony in which you you find.
- Effect "Romeo and Juliet" or forbidden love. Another reason why you can't get another woman out of your head is due to this psychological effect. In psychology, this effect explains that the more difficulties 2 people have to be together and the more they have to fight against adversity To achieve this, the desire to be with her will increase, causing intense and uncontrollable emotions to be experienced for that love forbidden.
- Decreased sexual desire towards your woman. It may be that the sexual desire you feel towards your woman has decreased considerably due to different factors such as routine, the end of falling in love, marital problems, lack of time for sexual encounters, stress, etc. which has invited you to fantasize with other people, especially with a specific woman with whom surely you have a lot of contact either because it is your coworker, your client, a close friend, etc.
How does a married man in love with another woman act?
The truth is that this question is asked more by women on the other side of the relationship since they live this situation with a lot of discomfort and anxiety. A married man in love with another woman usually stays distant and cold in marriage, if you want to know more, you can consult the following article: tips to know if my partner cheats on me sexually.
If you don't know how to act in this situation and you don't know what direction you want to take in your life, we recommend that you follow these tips:
Know the difference between love and infatuation
This is essential that you identify it since they are two totally different things. The act of falling in love Unlike love, it is temporary. When a person is in love, he experiences strong emotions and may feel the calls "butterflies in the stomach”He does not stop thinking about that person, he idealizes her and maximizes her virtues, forgetting about your defects, the sexual desire that is experienced is intense, she wants to be with that person all the time, and so on. However, all those intense emotions have a time limit, it can be months or even years.
Once the infatuation has ended, which is perfectly normal, it is consciously decided to love the partner or not, to accept it as it is with its defects and virtues, accept that the unbridled passion that was felt at the beginning will diminish but that you can still have a satisfying life with her. In short, love is an evolution to falling in love, it is more real and deep and does not have an expiration date.
Don't get carried away by your momentary impulses
It is important that you recognize that not just thinking about another woman and that you even feel in love with her is reason enough to leave your woman. Remember the difference between love and infatuation And think that if you allow yourself to be carried away by fleeting emotions such as falling in love, you will always have the need to leave the relationship you are in and go to experience others. So analyze your situation well, realize what your feelings are towards your partner, remember that love also implies patience, working in the relationship to strengthen it, trust and a series of deeper and more lasting values that can be cultivate.
Try to solve your relationship problems
This is not precisely with the purpose of recovering your current relationship, but it is necessary that you have these skills to deal with your problems personal and if you decide to be in another relationship you also need to have them. Remember that relationship problems will always appear, it is part of being in a relationship, but it is also part of learning to face them in order to do better each time.
If you have finally decided to fight for your relationship and leave your adventure behind, it is essential that you try to improve your relationship dynamics with some of the tips that we offer you below:
- Break the routine. If your wife and you are involved in total monotony to the degree that it already bores them to be together. It is time for you to start doing something to change this situation and in this case it is your opportunity to get out of the comfort zone, take the initiative and start making some changes. For example, among the things you can do is, propose to carry out new activities in the time when you are together, do things that you both are afraid of, schedule a trip, surprise her, etc. This also applies to the sexual area, you can manage to innovate and surprise her by trying new things, this will undoubtedly help them to increase that desire that seemed to have been extinguished.
- Value your relationship. Maybe you've just focused on how bad your relationship is right now and you've forgotten about all the good in it. So it is time for you to analyze carefully and objectively put on a balance that is what your relationship is giving you, how good it is, how good you feel in it, what you have to improve and what you can do to achieve it, etc. Sometimes people come to really value their relationship when they have already lost it and break up. regretting it, it is as if at that moment in which they were in the relationship they had stopped appreciating what They had. So it is important that you reflect and if your relationship is worth it you begin to value what you have.
- Focus all your attention on your relationship. If your desire is to stop thinking about the other person, something that is important for you to do and that will help you a lot to achieve it, is to focus all your energy and attention on your relationship. That is, from now on make your goal be to improve your relationship with your wife and establish a plan to achieve it. For example, you can plan all week to surprise your wife by taking her to a new place for dinner, looking for a fun and different place to spend the weekend, think about your anniversary gift, among others things. With this, your mind, little by little, will put aside the idea of the other person and will give priority to your relationship.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
