Constant fights and arguments can be stressful and call into question the stability and future of the relationship. In addition, they often reveal underlying differences or problems. When discussions escalate, finding space to de-escalate is usually a good strategy. The problem is aggravated when one of the members of the couple forces the other to leave the home. What to do if my partner throws me out of the house when we argue?
In this Psychology-Online article, we explain what to do if your partner throws you out of the house when you argue, what to say in this type of situation and the consequences that this may have for the relationship or the people involved, such as your children.
Vulnerability, empathy and affective responsibility are crucial aspects in all relationships, especially romantic ones. However, in the heat of an argument it can be difficult to remain calm and you may sometimes lose your temper.
However, there are some red lines that can never be crossed, which include respect and dignified treatment of the couple. When respect for the partner is lost, the relationship becomes destructive. Here are some tips to know what to do if your partner throws you out of the house when you argue:
Vreturn to resume the conversationlater
For this reason, a good strategy is stop the discussion and resume the conversationlater, when the two people are more receptive. In these cases, it may be helpful to spend the night in separate bedrooms or rooms to take up space and calm the intensity and volatility of the moment.
However, your partner cannot force you to leave your home without it being a mutually agreed upon decision, especially if the argument happens at night and you have nowhere to go.
Take steps to protect yourself
Evicting a partner from home can be very dangerous, especially if it occurs as a result of a situation of violence or abuse in the relationship. If a situation has occurred, it is important take steps to protect yourself and anyone else involved.
This may include seeking shelter in a safe place, reaching out to friends and family for support, and involving the authorities.
try to understand what is happening
If your partner is kicking you out of the house when you argue, it's important to take a step back and try to understand why this is happening. Is there a pattern in the discussions that could be contributing to this situation? Is your partner showing signs of violence or abuse? Is your partner overreacting or are you doing something to make the situation worse? Is your partner scared and trying to protect himself, or is he trying to punish you by kicking you out of the house?
Break up the relationship
When there is a total breakdown in communication and every time you speak up your partner reacts defensively (which causes you to freak out), if every argument turns into a shouting match where you are required to leave the home, seriously consider leaving the relationship Or at least give him an ultimatum that unless you admit there is a problem in the relationship and are willing to work together to fix it, the relationship is not going to work out.
Above all, you must be clear that neither you nor anyone else should repeatedly put up with this situation. For this reason, if it's not the first time it's happened and it seems endless, you should start to ask yourself why you're staying in the relationship and if you need professional help to get out.
Poor communication in the couple prevents the channeling of conflicts properly. The problem is exacerbated when using often coarse and coercive language. For this reason, when your partner throws you out of the house it is important try to keep calm and handle the situation in the most thoughtful and effective way possible.
Some things you can say include:
- "We're both upset right now, can we resume this conversation at a less tense time?"
- “I understand your anger but it cannot be a unilateral decision. My opinion is important where I am going to spend tonight”.
- "We need space to not say or do anything we might regret later, but it's important to make sure I can go somewhere safe and secure. Is there someone I can call for help or somewhere he can go temporarily?"
- "I am concerned about how this will affect our children. Can we work together to minimize any negative impact on them?"
It is important to remember that There is no perfect answer for all situations. and you may have to tailor your answer depending on the specific situation. The most important thing is to try to stay calm and seek help and support from family, friends and professionals if necessary.
Kicking a partner out of the house can have many consequences, depending on the specific situation and the deterioration of the relationship. Some possible consequences include:
1. Emotional and psychological consequences
In the first place, the person who suffers from this situation can see their coping strategies overwhelmed and suffer psychological damage and emotional consequences, which will often require professional help. The psychological damage related to the event can manifest itself in the form of clinical pictures such as high stress, anxiety, depression, self-esteem deficits, irritability, loss of sexual desire, feelings of guilt, neglect in their physical appearance or isolation social.
Another form of expression of psychological damage is the adoption of harmful coping strategies, such as resorting to self-medication or Alcohol abuse, the unhealthy relationship with food or getting involved in risky behaviors.
2. Establishing a toxic dynamic in the relationship
Forcing the couple to leave the house when there is a disagreement or argument can result in a form of control towards the partner. This dynamic is detrimental because it entails the obedience of the person and, frequently, originates from feeling entitled to carry out this type of imposition. Throwing your partner out of the house becomes an extremely effective and fast way to get away with it.
In turn, the submission of the person leaving can also be consolidated because accepting this imposition prevents the discussion with their partner from escalating.
3. Deterioration and breakdown of the relationship
From criticism to contempt there is only one step, and contempt is the poison that kills relationships. Arguing is not bad. The bad thing is when respect for the other is lost and the discussions come loaded with criticism, sarcasm or insults, without sincere repentance.
In a dysfunctional couple relationship there is a gradual loss of affection and communication, frictions or outbursts arise frequently and the desire to end it begins to gain strength.
4. legal conflicts
If both members of the couple have ownership rights to the house, legal disputes may arise that need to be resolved. For example, if one of the partners is kicked out of the house and has nowhere else to go, they might decide to take legal action.
If both have equal property rights, it is necessary to work out how the assets will be divided and how the property will be managed in the future to avoid problems.
5. Financial stress and economic problems
On the other hand, forcing a person out of their home can have a negative impact and financial consequences for that person, especially if you have nowhere to go or have to pay for additional housing.
If the person has to pay temporary rent while they resolve their situation, it can cause them financial stress and, in the long term, result in economic problems.
6. Impact on children
Finally, if the couple has children, kicking their father or mother out of the house can have a detrimental effect on them. The fact that children are present in marital conflicts and witness how one of their parents kicking the other out of the house can be a stressful experience for them, which can lead to problems of anxiety and depression.
Also may develop behavior problems, reacting with problematic behaviors such as aggressiveness or protest behaviors. In turn, it is possible that this situation ends up affecting their school performance, since they may be distracted or distressed and may experience Difficulty establishing and maintaining healthy relationships in the future if they have been exposed to a toxic or destructive relationship between their parents.
It is important to consider how the decision to leave the couple will affect the children and look for ways to minimize any negative impact on them. Children are often the biggest victims of couple conflicts and it is important to remember that It is not your responsibility what happens between your parents. Parents are the ones who should ensure the emotional well-being of their children.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
