When you have had an affair in which the person you have been with extramarital affairs It has been quite significant and special for you, completely forgetting about her is extremely complicated, so more than trying to forget that person we would be talking about acceptance, that is, accepting that that person is no longer going to be in your life and eventually you would end up with time for overcome it. If you are wondering right now Why can't I forget my lover It is because really or apparently what you want is to be able to do it to continue the relationship with your current partner since she is the person you want to be with.
This topic is very complicated since we often confuse love with falling in love, which results in these types of situations of anxiety and confusion. That is why in this Psychology-Online article we are going to describe you in detail what are the reasons why you cannot do it and we will also explain to you what is the difference between loving and being in love.
Have you heard of the Romeo and Juliet effect? It is called this way to all those situations where people in love for some reason or another cannot be together, as happened to the protagonists of this literary novel. And it is not only that it is difficult for them to be together, but that, like them, the less they could be together the more love and desire increased from one to the other. It's like talking about the famous "forbidden love" It seems that the more they are for one, the more we fall in love with the other person. But why does this situation occur?
It is scientifically proven that as well as increase the dose of dopamine in our brain when we fall in love, it also increases in the face of adversity, therefore if we are in love of a person and there are obstacles in between that make it difficult for us to be by their side, we will feel even more in love. It is for this reason that it is not uncommon for lovers to be able to do practically anything to be in touch. side of the person they love, even if it is to see them for a few hours, that is what they care the least.
There are those, for example, who have come to do any kind of madness in order to be with the other person, they have gone to live in another country, even another continent, they have left good jobs, they have traveled for many hours to be only a day or a few hours with that special person, among many others things.
Another aspect that is important to learn to differentiate is love from falling in love. There is a huge difference between what is true love of infatuation. When it is loved It has been scientifically proven that even brain chemistry changes, so that our brain produces a series of hormones in greater quantity such as serotonin and therefore we experience emotions twice.
For example, a person in love may experience the famous butterflies in the stomach when he sees the person he loves, he may also feel a kind of emotional ups and downs depending on what the other is doing or not doing, feeling like in a kind of alert state and experiencing exaggerated nervousness each time who is next to the other person, thinking about him all the time, constantly dreaming about that person, among many other manifestations that vary from person to person.
There is no doubt that being in love when we are reciprocated is an extremely pleasant experience, however infatuation has a deadline And when this happens, we automatically stop feeling all these emotions and can really see the person we love as they are, without idealizing them. From that moment on it is in our hands to decide if we are going to continue loving that person despite their defects and virtues (as we all have them) or not to continue building a stronger love and lasting that would be real love so to speak.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
