Sometimes feeling rejection towards our partner is something that can be considered normal since it is impossible for us to find ourselves wanting contact with the partner all the time. All people can find ourselves at one or several moments stressed, tired or simply not wanting to have an intimate and / or sexual encounter with the couple. However when this situation persists and you constantly ask yourself, "Why do I feel rejection towards my partner?This may be an indicator that there is some underlying problem. That is why in Psychology-Online we are going to help you make an analysis about this situation and you can finally answer your question.
On many occasions you are not aware or it is not possible to identify what the underlying problem is that is influencing to feel that rejection towards the partner. Letting go of importance and allowing this problem to persist will only increase it more and more and the relationship will become more fragile and unstable. It is important identify where this rejection of the partner comes from
There are 3 types of love that when combined form the necessary ingredients for a relationship to emerge. It is important to know these 3 components to be able to identify in which of them there could be a deficiency, which could be generating an important imbalance that ends up manifesting in a rejection of the partner.
- Eros (erotic love): This type of love refers to the desire for the other, the sexual and passionate desire towards the partner.
- Philia (friendship): It is being able to be friends with your partner, have a common project, compatible personal values and that they can also have fun together.
- Agape (tenderness): It refers to unconditional and selfless love for the other. The care for the couple, the tenderness. It is being generous and supportive of the other person, sharing their suffering.
For there to be a balanced relationship, it is necessary that these 3 elements appear, although some with more intensity than others but that they are there. When one of them has been lost, discomfort and a feeling of dissatisfaction is experienced in one or both parties.
There are many causes For which it is possible to experience rejection towards the couple at a certain moment. Among the main ones are the following:
- That one of the components of love in the couple cease to exist (eros, philia or agape)
- Have fallen into the monotony. This often happens in couples who have been in a relationship for a long time and / or who live together and are caught in the same routine, which leads to boredom.
- To have idealized the partner too much. This usually occurs in the stage of infatuation, and once this stage is over and the person is seen as he really is, interest in him may even be completely lost.
- Obsess over couple's flaws and focus solely on them, completely leaving aside the positive aspects that it also has.
- Have the feeling of loss of freedom being with another person. When all we want is to focus on ourselves to the degree that we can come to see the partner as a heavy burden.
- When they have relationship problems constant.
In this other article we tell you why are you angry about everything with your boyfriend.
As we have seen in the previous section, the feeling of rejection towards the partner can trigger a series of consequences at the individual and couple level. If apart from constantly asking yourself "why do I feel rejection towards my partner?", You would like to be able to do something to overcome it and maintain your relationship, here are some tips that can help you achieve it.
Identify the origin of the rejection you feel towards your partner
In case you have not yet detected where that rejection comes from, you can help yourself by analyzing in this article each of the causes of rejection towards the partner as well as detect those moments or situations where rejection appears more frequently. For example, it may be that you reject your partner when it comes to having sex but not for everything else.
In this case, it would be good for you to reflect on things such as: "At what moment does this rejection begin? Does it appear only before certain circumstances? Is it about the sexual relationship or my desire for the person? Can something be done to fix it? "
Talk to him / her
After having identified and analyzed about the origin of the rejection you feel towards your partner, communicate how you feel and what is really happening assertively and empathetically. Remember that doing so will improve communication with your partner and build trust.
Find a solution to this situation
Come to an agreement and / or a solution. In case this rejection is not so excessive and can be eliminated, it is necessary to implement new measures to combat the situation since if the rejection continues to act in the same way, even will increase. In this other article we discover you games and exercises for couples therapy.
In the event that a solution to the problem cannot be found but nevertheless you want to stop feeling rejection and improve the relationship, you can always ask for help from a professional that can treat your case individually.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
