The absent father is one who, as his own name indicates, is absent as a father in the education and upbringing of his children. Any child needs a father and a mother to develop in a healthy and balanced way on a physical, psychological and emotional level.
The absence of the father causes certain shortcomings in children that become entrenched inside and can lead to future emotional problems. Next, we will list which are the main characteristics of absent fathers as a way of detecting these situations and, as soon as possible, remedying possible future psychological maladjustments in children.
Index
- Disregards the needs of their children
- Look the other way
- immature
- Choose or be absorbed by other priorities
- You spend little time and of little quality with your children
- He does not assume his responsibilities as a father
- Exercise rigid authority or are unable to set limits
- Unwilling or unable to assume his role as father
He neglects the needs of his children.
An absent father neglects the needs of his children or is not physically present, and if he is, he does not have or does not want to have enough empathy to accompany his children and care for them properly. In this way, the children need a father but, with the passage of time, they find that they cannot go to him because unable to care for their children as they really need.
This, over time, can leave a deep emotional wound inside him that will condition his future life functioning in relation to the development of his trust with male figures and/or authority.
Look the other way.
Corroborating the previous point, an absent father looks the other way since, for reasons in which he does not we are going to delve into this article, they do not want (or cannot) look at their children, listen to them, attend to them and love them.
Of course it can happen as usual, derived from most of emotional deficiencies that most of the population suffer from, that this avoidant attitude regarding his role as father is carried out unconsciously and, despite the fact that he may wish to be a good father, his emotional wounds they separate him and do not allow him to take care of his children as he should.
He is immature.
The absent father is an immature person whose fatherhood has overwhelmed him and has preferred to remain comfortable in his personal situation prior to the birth of his children. As such, he may end up having behaviors totally out of place within the current family functioning, such as maintaining rhythms of life typical of his previous stage that does not respect children's schedules or new modes of behavior expected in parents as an example of life for their children.
He chooses or is absorbed by other priorities.
Or they are unable to attend to their children because they are absorbed and do not allow themselves to readjust their attention to other priorities. This usually happens, in many cases, with respect to the workplace, in which parents work endless hours and they barely spend time at home or what they do spend, it is no longer possible to share it with their children because they are already asleep or because they are tired they want.
It can also happen, in the case of immature parents, that they voluntarily choose other priorities (work or leisure) to avoid spending time at home and, with it, having to take care of their children.
He spends little time and of little quality with his children.
Consequence of the previous point, absent parents, voluntarily or not, spend little time with their children and the little time they spend is not of quality since are reluctant or tired to share a good time with your children.
He does not assume his responsibilities as a father.
It is evident from all that has been said that absent fathers are people who do not assume their responsibilities as parents and guides, together with the mother of their children. In this way, do not they burden the mother with all the responsibility of parenting that, along with housework and work, if she works, ends up overwhelming her in a way that can end up causing emotional conflicts between the couple.
They exercise rigid authority or are unable to set limits.
Absent parents do not know their children. They are true strangers to them. This is how, when faced with a possible request for help from the mother to set limits of conduct, or they exercise a rigid and inflexible authority that totally disregards the needs of their children and the reality of the moment or is unable to clarify the situation by establishing the most convenient limits for every situation with sober authority.
He does not want or cannot assume his role as a father.
After listing the main characteristics of absent fathers, it is easy to conclude that they are people who either do not want to (consciously), or are unable to assume their role as father. For different reasons (emotional immaturity, fear, not having chosen parenthood, excessive extra-family burdens, etc.) it is impossible for them to act as parents as they should.
In this way, they place 100% of the responsibility for parenting on the mothers who, if they are not helped or supported, can end up being greatly overwhelmed by this situation. On the other hand, the fact that a parent acts in this way does not mean that the situation is irreversible.
With the disastrous consequences that this can generate in the children, in the mother, in himself and in the group as a family, change is always possible towards a significant improvement of any vital maladjustment. The fundamental requirement for a fruitful process of personal change to be initiated in the absent father is that he himself becomes aware of his situation and wishes to change it.
If you have found this article on the characteristics of the absent father interesting, you can expand your knowledge with our post Paternal abandonment: consequences and how to overcome it.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Characteristics of the absent father, we recommend that you enter our category of Family problems.
