Love is one of the strongest and most intense feelings we can experience. However, it is also something very complex, so it tends to confuse us. That is why, although affection and love go hand in hand, sometimes we misunderstand a simple gesture for someone, with having found the greatest love of our life. The ideal is to know the characteristics of each of these feelings to be able to assertively identify what we are actually experiencing.
In this Psychology-Online article we will give you all the information you need about how to know if it's love or affection. In this way, you will know that you can feel affection for different people, but that does not mean that you truly love them.
Index
- What is love and affection
- You can't stop looking at that person
- You look for excuses to be close to him/her
- Imagine, imagine, imagine...
- It scares you to think that he will walk away from you
- You feel safe with your company
- Live more exciting experiences
- You change your look and improve your appearance
- you care about his life
- You project the future together
- you feel jealous
- your heart races
What is love and affection.
First, love is a deep feeling which is associated with a wide variety of emotions such as happiness, affection, tenderness, among many others. It is a strong feeling of affection towards another individual. You can feel love for your family, your partner, your job, a pet, among many other things. Also, this feeling is tinged with understanding, tolerance, respect and other positive feelings that make you want everything good for what you love.
Besides, fondness is associated with mutual affection and liking for something or someone. You can feel it for the person you love, but the opposite process does not occur, since affection is not necessarily synonymous with love. For example, it is usual to feel affection for a neighbor, a co-worker or even for the plant that you like the most in your house and that does not mean that you love them deeply.
Now that you know what each of these feelings are, let's see how to know if it's love or affection with the following signs:
You can't stop looking at that person.
One of the first classic symptoms of love is to enter the gaze of another person. That is, you can not stop looking at her eyes while you have him / her close to her. In fact, when something is observed very insistently, it is a clear indication that there is a strong attraction. That's why couples really in love "only have eyes for each other." That is, if you can't stop seeing that person constantly, it is possible that a feeling of love is growing within you.
You look for excuses to be close to him/her.
Another of the signs to know if it is love or affection, is that you will always look for a way to be close to that person. It doesn't matter if it's a casual conversation, messages on social networks or a spontaneous invitation, since any excuse is good to encourage a rapprochement. In other words, you will want to share more your time with that being who you are beginning to truly love.
Imagine, imagine, imagine...
To know if what you feel is love or affection, you just have to remember all the moments of the day when you thought of that person. For example, when you go down the street and see something, you immediately remember him/her; if you listen to a song, it looks like your partner and you want to have him / him close to her.
In short, if most of the day that person dominates your thoughts, it is not very difficult to guess that it is no longer simple affection.
It scares you to think that he will walk away from you.
How do you know if it's love or affection? One of the characteristics of true love is that we always want to be close to our loved one. Therefore, by imagining that he may leave you or that he is moving away, an alert reaction is immediately triggered that turns into fear. That means you can't imagine a life without that person, since affection was transformed into love.
You feel safe with their company.
Another of the main features that it is about love and not affection is that your company provokes security and confidence. Therefore, when you are in the presence of your partner, you have no problem telling him your things, showing him your weaknesses and even seeking his advice, since his words comfort you. That is, it increases comfort and safe tension. However, these feelings are not only experienced when feeling love.
You live more exciting experiences.
To know if what you feel is love, it is enough to experience the avalanche of hormones such as oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin that will run through your entire body when you are close to your loved one. Besides, will increase the level of happiness. Consequently, his presence makes all the experiences at his side exciting and time flies by.
Likewise, when that person is far away, the hours move as slowly as turtles and you will be impatient for the time to be by their side again.
Check our post The chemistry of love: is there a scientific formula? if you want to learn more about the effect of love on the body and mind.
You change your look and improve your appearance.
Although it may seem like an unimportant detail, it is usual that when love is awakened, self-esteem levels rise and we seek to improve our appearance. That is, we need to be more attractive.
So, we try to attract attention of that person wearing a good perfume, a new hairstyle or a different outfit. These are different seduction strategies that you would never think of applying to someone you simply have a lot of love and affection for.
You care about his life.
Are you interested in knowing another clue on how to know if it is love or affection? You want to know more details about their routine, who their family is, where they live, among many other personal data, it means that the interest in that person is greater than you imagine. You can even interest you in their desires, projects and desires to try to identify if they are compatible with yours.
You project the future together.
As much as you feel affection for someone, that will never lead you to plan a life with that person. That is to say, another tip to know if it is love or affection is that, only when you experience love, you will have the need to plan a future with your partner. It will be something innate and implicit that you cannot control.
In fact, you will imagine what your children will be like, the house you would like to have, where they will live and you will devise many future plans where both are united forever. Anyway, you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her.
You feel jealous.
Jealousy is a fundamental part of true love. Therefore, it is possible that, if the feeling of love for that person has already awakened in you, you will begin to feel jealous of their friends or of the things that take away time with you. Yes indeed, don't make the mistake of becoming someone toxic that ends up alienating your ideal partner.
To do this, we leave you this article that will help you with this topic: how to stop being jealous.
Your heart races.
How to know if it is love or affection what you feel? It's simple, the heart does not deceive. Therefore, if when that person approaches you, you feel your heartbeat accelerate and your eyes light up, there is no doubt that you are facing true love.
This happens because in love neurotransmitters are activated immediately, such as norepinephrine. Also, you won't be afraid that the people around you will notice your feelings, since all your attention is focused on one thing: the person for whom you feel love.
However, this post will show you The 11 differences between love and infatuation, so that you can differentiate the state of falling in love from true love.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to know if it's love or affection, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.
Bibliography
- Stephen, M. L. (2007). Some ideas for an anthropology of love. Ankulegi-Journal of Social Anthropology, 11, 71-85. http://congresonacionaldepsicoterapia.es/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Ankulegi-07-Esteban.pdf
- Fonseca, V. m. F. (2019). Mechanisms in the construction of romantic love. Journal of Gender Studies, La Ventana E-ISSN: 2448-7724, 6(50), 282-305. http://revistalaventana.cucsh.udg.mx/index.php/LV/article/view/7074
