Despite the fact that it is spreading thanks to social networks that exalt its characteristics and apparent virtues, vulnerable narcissism is difficult to recognize at least from the beginning, because it does not have the megalomaniacal visibility of the extroverted and histrionic way, but it is no less dangerous.
They are cold people, actually very antisocial, fearful and worried about their future, but ready to shoot aggressively at the first contradiction in life. Understanding if we are dealing with narcissistic people helps to understand what happens every time you interact with them and reflect on how much we are willing to invest in that relationship. In this Psychology-Online article, we will see what is a vulnerable narcissist and how to identify one.
Index
- What is a vulnerable narcissist
- Neuroticism and social anxiety
- introversion
- Victimism and need for care
- Selfishness
- convenience relationships
- Jealousy
- external locus of control
- Lack of empathy
What is a vulnerable narcissist.
Alongside the classic prototype of a narcissistic person, who is seen as arrogant and presumptuous, the so-called vulnerable narcissist is extremely sensitive to how others react to him. Specifically, a covert narcissist has the following traits:
- He appears to be inhibited and avoids being the center of attention.
- Shy person characterized by feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, so they tend to avoid others for fear of not being liked.
- Have fear of rejection or not be up to the level required by their narcissism.
- Although unnoticed, the vulnerable narcissist is in a permanent state of performance anxiety.
Vulnerable narcissists lacked positive attention, recognition, and love at a young age, thus frustrating their primary need for balanced self-esteem. Therefore, it has a great inferiority complex and anxiety derived from the fear of failure, they feel small and insignificant, and all their presumptuous attitudes serve precisely to erase and compensate for that state.
Neuroticism and social anxiety.
Compared to typical narcissists, the vulnerable tend to be more likely to experience negative emotions. This form of narcissism is correlated with dissatisfaction, depression, anxiety, and paranoia. Furthermore, it is associated with anxious attachment and sensitivity to rejection.
It is very likely that the vulnerable narcissist worry excessively about their appearance, your career prospects, savings, relationship status, etc. Therefore, he will criticize people for feeling safe in social situations as a defense of his own social discomfort.
Introversion.
A vulnerable narcissist tends to be shy, embarrassed and anxious with a fragile self-esteem that is affected and regulated by the reactions of others. Although he knows that he has a more introverted personality, he is equally convinced that he is better. He does not apply the same rules to himself that he applies to others and his status is her absolute priority.
Victimism and need for care.
How to recognize a vulnerable narcissist? tend to claim that nobody is worse than him and fears situations in which he may feel embarrassed, unlike the narcissistic arrogant, shameless and unconcerned in all social interaction.
A covert narcissist needs the attention and approval of others. You feel great anguish when you are not the center of attention, but even more so when he is rejected, hurt or ignored.
Selfishness.
Someone with a vulnerable narcissistic personality, never give in a relationship, making it difficult for him to maintain personal relationships. By requiring a lot of attention, they make it difficult to maintain relationships: never give in on a relationship, just take it! In fact, he is more concerned with receiving than with what he can offer.
You could make more money than everyone in the family, but still live in a squalid one-bedroom apartment or claim a parent's life savings. If you decide to offer something, it's probably because you think it will benefit you in the long run.
convenience relationships.
A vulnerable narcissist may have many friends and a wide social circle, but is unable to maintain close personal relationships, romantic or professional due to their egocentric nature.
In fact, he surrounds himself with friends and relationships at different stages of his life just for his personal benefit. If he no longer benefits from a relationship, or if it doesn't feed his self-esteem, he tends to break it off and find someone else who can give him the adoration he seeks.
Jealousy.
How does a vulnerable narcissist behave in a relationship? He can be very jealous and, in turn, is a risk factor for abusive behavior. In fact, you experience a lot of anxiety in relationships, since is very sensitive to separation signals and experiences more intense anguish in the event of abandonment. Find out what the fear of abandonment and how to overcome it.
Vulnerable narcissists tend to undermine the success of their partner, to hmake him feel guilty for his achievements or to underestimate or hide their emotion and devalue themselves.
External locus of control.
How to spot a vulnerable narcissist? They rarely accept responsibility for their actions. They always attribute the blame to external factors such as other people or circumstances. They may accept responsibility for actions and blame only when they are in trouble, but even in these cases, the vulnerable tend not to feel remorse or guilt.
If you want to better understand this factor, do not miss this article on what is the internal and external locus of control.
Lack of empathy.
The vulnerable narcissist is unable to identify or acknowledge having hurt someone's feelings, as well as causing problems in a group setting due to gaps in self-awareness. On the contrary, he cares so much about himself that he cannot take care of the emotions of others. He often needs others to calm his negative emotions.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to What is a vulnerable narcissist and how to identify one, we recommend that you enter our category of Personality.
Bibliography
- Grimaldi, P. (2019). Social anxiety. Clinic and therapy in an integrated cognitive perspective. Milan: Franco Angeli.
- Wery von Limont (2018). The Secret Life of the Anima. Milan: Mondadori.
