The desire to achieve excellence and stand out in today's increasingly demanding society has practically become a necessity for many people. In the case of a mentally healthy person, wanting to be excellent is something completely normal that improves personal satisfaction and does not have to be related to perfectionism. However, at the moment when the desire to achieve perfection becomes excessive, we should start to worry, as this is when it can seriously affect mental health and relationships social.
Fortunately, and although in extreme cases it may be more difficult to achieve, it is possible to overcome perfectionism. In the following Psychology-Online article we will give you a series of tips on how to stop being a perfectionist.
Index
- what is perfectionism
- Suppress the need to be infallible
- Plan realistically
- Set more modest goals
- gradual exposure
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
What is perfectionism.
Students who cannot conceive of lowering their grades, artists who repeat their illustrations over and over again until correcting the smallest detail, obsessive about order and cleanliness who spend hours and hours Cleaning... It is very common in our day to day to hear that someone refers to himself/herself as a perfectionist person, but how could we define the term exactly?
perfectionism is a fight for impeccability and achieve to be perfect in all aspects of life. Perfectionists tend to view all of their activities and interactions as a test that will prove its worth, which is why they consider it essential to always do things right and make the decision “correct”. The goals that are set are so difficult to meet that most of the time they drown in their own frustration. If they get to fulfill any, many times they are not even able to enjoy it.
On the other hand, numerous studies corroborate that patients with anxiety disorders or feeding tend to show higher levels of perfectionism. Similarly, not treating perfectionism in time can lead to depression or worsen existing disorders.
If you want to know more about the characteristics of perfectionism you can consult Perfectionist personality: meaning, characteristics and flaws.
Perfectionism harms personal relationships and work, in addition to subjecting the person who suffers it to unbearable anguish. If you detect that you have reached the disabling levels that we have previously mentioned, it is time to try to find a solution. Here are some ways to treat it.
Suppress the need to be infallible.
The perfectionist person tends to see the mistake as something terrible and tries to avoid it at all costs. However, the first step to improvement is accept that everyone makes mistakes and learn to recognize them, without using justifications and/or misrepresenting what happened to look good. In this way, the person will end up realizing that accepting his mistakes will not make him look less intelligent. nor will you lose friends for it, but, on the contrary, it will allow you to see yourself more human and feel more liberated.
Plan realistically.
What's wrong with being a perfectionist? When carrying out jobs or activities (such as writing a book or writing a report), perfectionists often create expectations that are rarely feasible, without taking into account factors that may condition such activities, such as the limitations of weather.
It is important set realistic goals Focus on getting the job done instead of making sure every detail is perfect. Accept that the project you are working on will probably not end up being the masterpiece that you had imagined at first will help to significantly reduce the anxiety caused by perfectionism.
Set more modest goals.
Being aware of your abilities and how far you are able to go with the resources you have will help you complete tasks faster. allow yourself to be mediocre from time to time will not only save you a lot of time and energy, but will also make you feel more relaxed and less pressured. Similarly, learning to prioritize will also be a key factor to stop being a perfectionist.
Gradual exposure.
Gradual exposure is a fundamental strategy to stop being a perfectionist that involves changing perfectionistic behavior. committing small intentional mistakes gradually, such as cluttering the room or arranging the books on the shelf in the "wrong" way.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
Numerous studies have confirmed that cognitive behavioral therapies (CBT) can help treat perfectionism. When starting a CBT, it is suggested that the professional conduct an interview with the patient to assess their degree of perfectionism through questions that address the main maintenance factors in the model conductive-behavioral. This type of therapy, focused on clinical perfectionism, aims to work together with the patient to locate maladaptive beliefs and modify them (Shafran et al., 2002).
Stopping being a perfectionist will improve the patient's physical and mental health and reduce guilt when not being "productive." Treatment can also help reduce symptoms of associated disorders, such as anxiety, eating disorders, or depression. Likewise, reducing excessive demands on the environment will favor personal relationships.
This article is merely informative, in Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to stop being a perfectionist, we recommend that you enter our category of Personality.
Bibliography
- Alonso González, P., & José Carrasco, M. (2019). Perfectionism in Mental Health.
- De Rosa, L., Dalla Valle, A., Rutsztein, G., & Keegan, E. (2012). Perfectionism and self-criticism: clinical considerations. Argentine Journal of Psychological Clinic, (3), 209-215.
- García Fernández, J., Vincent, M., & González, C., et al. (2016). Perfectionism during childhood and adolescence. Bibliometric and thematic analysis (2004-2014). Ibero-American Journal of Psychology and Health, (2), 79-88.
- Mallinger, A., & DeWyze, J. (2010). The Obsession of Perfectionism (12th ed.).
