How to manage anger attacks in the couple

The term anger has had multiple meanings in psychological research and everyday language, referring to both feelings and bodily or physiological reactions, as well as attitudes towards other people. Anger is understood as one of the seven basic and universal emotions that human beings have and it is completely normal. feel it at times, despite the discomfort it can cause us and the difficulty of being able to manage it properly.

In this sense, anger has a variety of adaptive functions, such as organizing and regulating processes. internal psychological and physiological related to self-defense and the regulation of interpersonal behaviors and social. However, anger is an emotion considered aversive due to the damage that its mismanagement can cause at a social level. For this reason, in this Psychology-Online article we leave you 12 techniques/advice to know How to manage your partner's angry attacks.

Index

1. Leave a space of time
2. Provides a space to express your anger
3. Identify possible solutions together
4. Try to dialogue using messages
5. Work together not holding mutual grudges
6. Practice breathing exercises
7. Do exercise
8. Include relaxation techniques in the day to day
9. use empathy
10. Increase positive social behaviors
11. Recommend him to rest
12. suggest going to therapy

When you see that your partner's words, actions and behaviors are controlled by anger, offer him a rest time, that he can go to another part of the house or for a walk to meditate on what he is feeling and is going through his head, as well as find the best way to tell you.

Just as you offer a space for him to meditate on his current emotional state, also offer him a space to be able to express what has caused him to be like this and to be able to feel that he can share his emotions with you.

It may be difficult for your partner to see solutions to the situation that has made him feel that way. anger, since this emotion can cloud the senses and the possibility of seeing other options with clarity. Nevertheless, propose possible solutions and assess the consequences of each of them could help this anger to fade more quickly.

communicate using assertiveness as the main tool it will help you too expresshow your partner's anger is making you feel in a way where you don't feel attacked.

To achieve this, it is important to expose from your point of view how it is making you feel and in what situation in as well as explain what you would like to see changed and what you can do on your part to improve the situation.

Resentment for situations where anger has appeared in the couple will generate tension and greater difficulty in managing emotions between them. In turn, this will generate more conflictive situations that can lead to greater resentment, and so on until the rope breaks from so much accumulated tension.

For this reason, once you have considered finding a solution to the situation, and if you intend to help your partner manage anger, it is important understand that this anger was the result of his mismanagement and that, once you close the chapter, reopening it will generate more conflict.

The deep diaphragmatic breathing it is an exercise that helps emotional regulation from the bodily expression of emotions, since slow breathing is incompatible with the physiological sensations of anger. Therefore, practicing these types of exercises can help your partner to be calmer.

Do you want to know another way to manage anger? the exercise is a great emotional release tool that will help your partner feel happier and more restless after practicing it.

The practice of relaxation exercises, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation on a daily basis, will help control anger in future situations in which this emotion manifests itself again.

In the following article you will find 9 relaxation techniques for stress.

Putting yourself in his place to try to understand what has made him feel that way will facilitate the dialogue between the two and the expression of his emotions.

Also, remember that being empathetic does not mean agreeing with what the other person thinks at all times, but validate the emotions you are feeling facing a certain situation and the importance it may have for him/her.

One of the points that can help anger management is the development of pleasant social activities. Therefore, once you have been able to talk and your partner is feeling better, another good way to manage anger could be do some of the activities you enjoy the most together.

When we are physically or mentally exhausted, our angry reactions and aggressive impulses are more frequent and we have fewer tools to manage them. For this reason, a good rest, either together or separately, will help to decrease the lack of anger management.

Sometimes, a bad expression of anger can occur in a timely manner due to the many factors that may be influencing. However, on many other occasions the difficulty in managing anger is a consequence of the person's lack of tools, so it is important to go to therapy to work on it.

This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to manage anger attacks in the couple, we recommend that you enter our category of Feelings.

• Buela-Casal, G. Sierra, J.C. (2009). Manual of evaluation and psychological treatments. Madrid: New Library.
• Ellis, a. (2007). Control her anger before she controls you. Barcelona: Paidos.
• Nieto, M., Delgado, M., & León, L. (2008). Approaches to the emotion of anger: from conceptualization to psychological intervention. row, 11(28), 5.
• Rosique, M.T. (2019). Advances in psychological intervention techniques. Madrid: Ed. CEF.
• Vallejo Pareja, M.A. (1998). Behavior therapy manual. Madrid: Dykinson.