When major losses occur in life, people often suffer greatly. Despite the fact that this is part of a natural process, the truth is that it entails great pain that is expressed in different ways according to each person. On the one hand, there are those who put their lives aside due to the intense anguish they feel and that makes them think that it is impossible to move on. At the other extreme, there are human beings who deny the value of what is lost and try to ignore the situation. In both cases, these are processes that cause problems in the development of various activities of daily life since mourning is not elaborated correctly.
Undoubtedly, the area of mental health must be treated with the seriousness it needs to deal with those moments of inevitable sadness that can be felt. In this Psychology-Online article we explain Why can't I cry over the death of a loved one?.
Index
- Is it bad not to mourn the death of a loved one?
- Why can't I mourn the death of a loved one?
- What happens when a person cannot mourn the death of a loved one?
- What to do when you feel like crying and you can't
Is it bad not to mourn the death of a loved one?
Taking as a point of reference the different phases of mourning Before the death of a loved one, it is important to mention that the loss can be channeled in various ways. In this sense, crying is one of the most used ways to discharge anxiety by people. The main point to keep in mind is that have tools to give value to the loss.
In other words, people should express their emotions about the meaning that the death of someone close has for them. If you do not mourn the death of someone close to you, it is possible that the contained emotions are expressed in different ways that could be unfavorable for the person.
Based on this, it can be said that it is bad not to cry as long as value is not given to the moment. However, it is important to keep in mind that each human being has their times to process a loss.
Why I can't mourn the death of a loved one.
The fact of not mourning the death of a loved one can be related to different causes. In general terms, there are some defense mechanisms of the mind so as not to come into contact with the anguish of the situation. We show you below:
- emotional block: consists of the lack of understanding about the situation that occurred. In these cases, the person has not become aware of what happened, which results in the absence of crying. Here you will find How to help a person with an emotional block.
- Denial: It is another of the defense mechanisms that humans use most frequently. In short, it means that the person denies the loss and fails to give the corresponding value. When this happens, it is common to seek moments of happiness as a distraction.
- biological factors: some causes may affect the impossibility of crying. In these cases it is necessary to carry out medical studies to verify the existence of diseases.
What happens when a person cannot mourn the death of a loved one.
Faced with the difficulty of expressing the pain caused by the absence of a close person through tears, some consequences derived from this condition can be placed. In this section, we will talk and show you what happens when a person cannot mourn the death of a loved one:
- appearance of diseases: if no record is taken of what happened under any modality, the body expresses it through diseases and bodily alterations that are not explained by medical causes.
- Culpability: It is frequent the appearance of thoughts associated with the guilt that a person can feel in the face of the death of a loved one. Given this, the idea that arises is that something was done wrong and that caused the death. In this way, repetitive and incessant thoughts are presented as a form of punishment.
- Difficulties in social relationships: people who do not cry may lack reflection on the situations that happen in everyday life. Furthermore, this leads to serious problems in interpersonal relationships since there is a lack of consideration for others.
- Mental disorders: pathological duels can cause the appearance of mental disorders of seriousness that imply high loads of anxiety, depression, lack of impulse control, among others.
What to do when you feel like crying and you can't.
Beyond the difficulties that the impossibility of crying can trigger, there are some indications that can be followed to achieve it. Next, we show you what to do when you feel like crying and you can't:
connect with loss
First of all, understand that sadness can be felt that emerges from the death of a loved one can be of great help in this type of situation. This can be done from looking at photographs, videos, reading a letter, writing, among others. If you want to know more about this topic, you can also consult the article Types of grief and its characteristics.
go to therapy
therapy is a space that invites reflection about the painful events of life. Likewise, it is a device made for the person to record what they have lost. By remembering and talking about the deceased loved one, the moment is relived and this causes crying.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Why can't I cry over the death of a loved one?, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.
Bibliography
- Meza Dávalos, E., García, S., Torres Gómez, A., Castillo, L., Sauri Suárez, S., Martínez Silva, B. (2008). The grieving process. A human mechanism for managing emotional losses. Magazine of Medical-Surgical Specialties, 13 (1), 28-31.
- Millán-González, R., Solano-Medina, N. (2010). Grief, pathological mourning and interpersonal therapy. Colombian Journal of Psychiatry, 39 (2), 375-388.
