According to psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, grief is a process that usually goes through five main stages: denial, anger, negotiation, depression, and acceptance. People who experience some kind of grief in their lives often go through these five stages with greater or lesser ease. A symptom that the grieving process has developed favorably is that finally, and within a reasonable amount of time, the person ends up accepting the inevitability of the loss. However, there are cases in which the person is unable to finish the grieving process because they have gotten stuck in one or more of the five stages named.
In these cases, there are certain symptoms that show that the affected person has not overcome grief. In the following Psychology-Online article we will explain the symptoms of not overcoming grief.
Index
- denial of loss
- Loss of contact with reality
- Permanent state of frustration and anger
- Inadequate behaviors
- Inability to adapt to the new situation
- emotional block
- Feeling of anxiety and depression
- Reluctance to accept loss
- Persistent states of restlessness and fatigue
Denial of loss.
First of all, one of the most obvious symptoms that the person has not overcome the duel is that continues to consciously or unconsciously deny the loss suffered. The grieving process begins with the denial stage, but in some cases the person gets stuck in this stage and, no matter how As time passes, the loss is still not accepted, with all the negative consequences that this entails for the person himself and for his around.
That is to say, the person who has suffered the loss is unable to move forward on their path and may end up hooking the people closest to them with their behavior of denial. In this article you will find more information about The phases of mourning.
Loss of contact with reality.
Another symptom of denial is that the affected person remains unchanged in their daily routine. Regardless of what the loss was (love breakup, death of a family member, job loss, etc.) nothing alters his day to day and, with this, he does not introduce any changes that allow him to accept and adapt to the loss suffered.
The stagnation in this phase of denial of mourning has the psychological danger that the person loses contact with reality. Therefore, helping the person to leave this phase is essential to avoid these risks in the long term.
Permanent state of frustration and anger.
Another symptom of people who cannot overcome the grieving process is that they remain in a long continuous and/or very intense state of frustration and anger.
Although this stage is part of the grieving process, when anger becomes a state that permanently floods the person that he has suffered the loss and it seems that, not even with the passage of time, his state of frustration lessens, it means that this person has been trapped in this stage and is unable to move forward in the normal grieving process as it usually happens. In this article we explain how to control anger and aggression.
Inappropriate behaviors.
As a consequence of stagnation and failure to overcome any of the stages of the grieving process, it may happen that the person adopts inappropriate behaviors that can considerably harm their health, well-being and public safety. These behaviors arise as defense mechanisms against not overcoming the duel, or one of its stages. Some examples of these harmful behaviors are:
- Aggressive or antisocial behaviors: usually occur as a consequence of stagnation in the stage of anger
- self-injurious behaviors: would be the result of a cluster of depressive feelings, of non-acceptance and of frustration and anger
- toxic-dependent behaviors: it can be common, during the period of denial and anger, addictive behaviors to substances Toxic substances that are often used as means of escaping from reality and channeling frustration suffered
Inability to adapt to the new situation.
Sometimes, the person is unable to adapt to the new situation result of loss, no matter how hard you try.
In these cases, either due to some emotional blockage or due to lack of means and resources (physical, psychological, emotional and/or social), the person is unable to find and establish a new path that allows them to move on with their life and leave behind the loss suffered.
Emotional block.
As a result of the great pain suffered by the loss experienced, it may arise an emotional block that paralyzes them and prevents them from constructively addressing the situation. These people are incapable of assuming what is happening and due to an accumulation of many emotions resulting from the experience of loss suffered, they become dull and emotionally blocked. This symptom would indicate that something is not right in the process of overcoming grief.
In this article you will find information about how to help a person with emotional block.
Feeling of anguish and depression.
Anguish, sadness and depression constitute, in itself, the fourth phase of the grieving process. However, it is expected that these occur in a period of time that, although it can vary from one person to another, will not last more than two years.
If after this time the person remains in these states of anguish, You may have gotten stuck at this stage. and your sadness has turned into a deeper depression.
Resistance to accept loss.
Another symptom that the grieving process has not been adequately overcome is the conscious or unconscious resistance to accepting the loss. Although the people who remain in this state have overcome practically the entire process, the final acceptance of the loss, which It means closing the doors to this part of the past and moving on with their lives, they find it very complicated and they can't bring it to life. cape.
Continuous states of restlessness and fatigue.
Lastly, some physical and psychological-emotional aspects that can occur for a long time (more than two years) and can be an obvious symptom that it has not been overcome. conveniently the grieving process are inner restlessness, fatigue, lack of motivation, insomnia, lack of appetite, considerably reduced social contact, among others.
The estimated maximum time to overcome the duel is approximately two years. In the event that we or someone we know have experienced a duel and perceive that after those two years one of these symptoms manifests itself, it will be convenient to be alert and seek help to prevent the process from prolonging and chronify until causing deeper negative consequences that are difficult to heal.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Symptoms of not overcoming grief, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.
Bibliography
- Bucay, J. (2006). The trail of tears. Editorial Debolsillo.
