Overcoming the betrayal of a friend can be very painful due to the emotional disappointment that comes from accepting the reality of the conflict. It is clear that going from having a very good friendship with someone to having to accept that they have broken up is hard and can turn the experience becomes something difficult to overcome and that, if we are not careful, can lead us to develop negative and undesirable feelings towards our lost friendship together with the development of a certain internal distrust in the possible establishment of new friendships.
To avoid all this, in the next chapter of Psychology-Online we propose 9 tips to overcome the betrayal of a friend.
Index
- don't close your heart
- Look for alternatives to rancor
- Try to understand your friend's behavior
- Accept their decision, even if it was wrong or painful
- work forgiveness
- Don't close the doors to friendship
- Be patient
- learn to forgive
- Consider the experience as a life lesson
Don't close your heart.
The first thing that happens when we suffer the loss or betrayal of a friendship is that, as an automatic defensive mechanism to avoid feeling the pain, we close our hearts. However, this apparently insignificant and invisible gesture can give rise to a series of negative attitudes and emotions that will affect our lives in the short, medium and long term. In addition, we feed resentment, we become self-centered, not very empathetic and compassionate, distrustful...
On the contrary, make an effort not to close our hearts it will open the doors to positive experiences of personal growth, even despite the painful experience.
Look for alternatives to rancor.
As we have just mentioned, the resentment It can be one of the main responses that arise after going through painful experiences. The pain experienced leads us to try to understand what happened and, given the inconsistency and nonsense of many of these experiences, we tend to get angry with the person who has provoked us said pain.
However, while anger may be a logical response in these cases, it is important that we be careful not to not feed the rancor of our interiorSince this emotion can cause many blocks, fears, bad responses, disabilities, etc. futures.
For this reason, we recommends look for alternatives to the accumulation of grudges that will greatly facilitate a more encouraging transit. Some alternatives could be practicing relaxation techniques, going for a walk and freshening up or practicing any other sport, reading what catches our attention, etc. In reality, it is about trying to mislead the grudge with another alternative every time it attracts attention from within or to discharge the tension and accumulated negativity.
Try to understand your friend's behavior.
A very effective alternative to grudges is try to empathize and understand our friend's behavior that, although at first it is unjustifiable for us, you may have your own reasons for acting like this. We may not share it or find it difficult to accept at first, but simply understanding that from your personal experience your behavior has found a reason to fulfill itself will help us, as a small first step, not feed resentment and keep, at least, a little more open the heart.
Time and our intention to positively resolve this situation will help us feel compassion and mercy for our friend.
Accept their decision, even if it was wrong or painful.
Once we achieve put us in their place we will be able to accept his choice, however painful it may have been for us and however much he may have erred in his conduct. The acceptance of this will provide us with enormous internal relief caused by the emotional discomfort and disgust maintained by the misunderstanding of the event and its reasons.
Work forgiveness.
As previously shared, keeping your heart open, trying to understand the personal motivation that led to the betrayal and acceptance His behavior will lead us, over time (and a great deal of waiting and patience on our part), to feel some compassion for ourselves. friend
In this article you will find some tips on How to learn to forgive.
Do not close the doors to friendship.
Despite what has happened, and once the initial vision of the situation has been modified for a deeper and more constructive one, it may be advisable not to close the doors to our friendship as our internal state of rejection is being replaced by a new and more complete acceptance of the person who has given us betrayed.
Be patient.
In reality, the most profound personal changes are those that provide us with the best tools to approach our lives in a positive and appropriate way. These changes do not occur from one day to the next, but require a certain amount of time to establish a process of change and inner transformation. be patient with ourselves It will help us finish this transition successfully and favorably.
Learn to forgive.
As the final part of this whole process, forgiveness becomes the almost necessary response from within to close the doors on this unpleasant incident and move on with our lives with great joy and strength renewed.
Get forgive the person who has betrayed us will bring us the peace that said experience stole from us, although that does not mean that we have to maintain the friendship relationship again.
Consider the experience as life learning.
Finally, keeping our hearts open, being much more patient, empathetic and merciful, we will approach our next step in life with a new look on betrayal and friendship.
Finished the process of overcoming this situation we will feel happier and more grateful for the experiences and knowledge that she has given us to help us improve as people every day.
This article is merely informative, at Psychology-Online we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to How to get over a friend's betrayal, we recommend that you enter our category of Emotions.
